IMO this is very normal behavior for a child who has had Mom and Dad all to herself up until now. But don't let the guilt over shaking up her world keep you from being firm. I am sure you aren't. Just saying...Right now, she needs lots of attention when she is good, and as little as possible--but firm still--attention when she is being bad. You have to memorize phrases to say and times you can praise her and try not to miss those opportunities.
Four yrs old is about when consequences are within a kid's understanding (imho not expertise) so when she does the bad stuff with that oh-so-obvious intent to push your buttons, you've got to react calmly, not long and drawn out, and with consequence. I guess an example would be: "We don't mess with the house like that, do that or something rough again and you go in time out. Now, would you like to color in this book? I'll show you my favorite page."
(If she pushes the button again, then time out or whatever your fave consequence is that doesn't screw you more. If she cooperates right away, woo-hoo, you are lucky but still follow through on the positive attention. It can take a week...or four to trim a behavior down to occasional.)
I think children are hilarious (and by that I mean "pull-your-hair-out-until-your-scalp-bleeds funny") when it comes to attention. They really want it really badly no matter how they can get it. My older two, 8 & 9, to this day will do what the other one did that got him/her chastised. When they were younger, it was heartstopping: one would run into the street, I would scream and get her back in hand, and the other would promptly do the same. He wanted me to scream and grab him in fear/anger too. Hilarious right?
Also, I have him on video biting her head (3 weeks old) and drawing blood while she nursed! My husband was videotaping the lovely "mother-baby" scene. At 16 months, he understood that being in the movie doing something bad was better than nothing. (They are lovely children, I swear ;-)
