well, i've seen that in my topic about PFT's there was also plenty of talk about weight issues and eating disorders that some of us have/had, and you know, lets have a separate topic about that.lets talk about our weight issues. how are you about keeping weight up - do you have a problem with it? do you take food supplements [ensure, fortashake, scandishake, etc.]? do you have any issues with food, weight? eating disorders? anything else?about me:i was always very much underweight, up until i was 10 and a half. well, i was basically underfed and under-medically taken care of, since i lived in ukraine [former soviet union] and everything was really bad. at the age of 10 and a half i was 4"3 and weighed 52 pounds. really, really skinny arms, bloated belly, bony legs - old-fashioned stereotypical CF poster child. it did change when we moved to israel - for example, from my 11th birthday to my 12th birthday i gained 2 inches and almost 9 pounds. in one year! and i continued to grow and gain like a good girl - with proper nutrition, food supplements and great CF care. i have had signs of eating disorder since age 11, i guess [i went through my files and saw the dietician notes]. from age 15/16 i have stopped eating in public and with friends/lovers - a major part of anorexia nervosa. i became fully anorexic at age 19 [a year and a half ago]. before anorexia i was 5"2 and weighed 116.6 pounds, and at my lowest anorexic weight i was 88. it was caught very fast, though, due to constant CF checkups which included weight check and the fact that i cannot lie - when i was asked if i ate, i said no, when i was asked whether i will eat, i said no, and etc. i almost died because of that. i was hospitalized in an ED/Psychiatric ward for 7 months. it never was a big problem for me to gain weight before anorexia. i mean, if i ate well, and took my enzymes and two ensure plus per day, i gained/kept my weight. and there was always the issue of me always being able to eat anything - ice cream, chocolate, chips, and my mother even encouraging this, for example, always giving me money so i could have a cone. and of course, friends were jealous - especially in our teens. because they gained and i was always kind of skinny/moderate. and i guess this jealousy affects in a way, because i, too, started all that talk about calories and "oh i cannot eat that pizza" and how i need to lose some. i guess that "i-can-eat-anything" approach that came with CF played a part in my becoming anorexic - i went from one extreme, in which i could eat freely, to another extreme, where i didn't eat a bite. i am in recovery now, and it's difficult for me to keep weight, also to gain weight. me and my doctor have agreed that i have to be 105-106 pounds, no less. because low weight affects lungs very badly, and that's why i nearly died a year ago. i'm currently exactly 100 pounds, on a "weight-gain" diet. i do realize the importance of food, and that if i don't eat, i could eventually die. but in a way, i am still anorexic. there are the occasional thoughts and plans of how to lose weight, jealousy of skinnier girls, inability to eat in public, although that has gotten better [but for example, i have a new lover, and i don't eat when we're together, and i guess that's frustrating for both of us, though i voiced my problem]. there are many little things.well, that was long.your turn <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">