Advice wanted

[jbrandyn]

Hey all,
So I was wondering if anyone has had a family member who seals their pain meds from them? I am currently having that problem and I don't know what to do about it. My brother 38 is stealing my pain meds that I use for my chronic belly pain he has done this at least once before and I suspect more than that. I don't want to have to make a fuss about it or get the police involved because I know he has a serious problem, but so do I. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand he needs to learn that this is unacceptable and that there are repercussions, but on the other hand I don't want to cause more drama in my family. If it was just him then I would not have a hard time drawing a line, but I fear that if he were to get into trouble then my parents and I would not get to see our niece and nephew. It's hard for me, he constantly puts my mom and dad through hell, but gets away with acting like a teenager by playing the victim card and now it has escalated to the point that he is stealing prescription drugs from my mom and I...

I guess I really just need a sounding board, maybe I should make an anonymous tip to the sheriff.

 

[Aboveallislove]

I'm so sorry. I know how hard this can be. My younger brother was addicted to pain meds but is now clean. But it was a horrible time. I know on paper what I'd suggest....setting up a hidden video so you have proof he did. And the after send him a letter saying how much you love him how hard this must be, how you know his addiction is causing him pain and others and that you want to help. Have info on several places he can go and say that if he seeks treatment you will do nothing. But if he doesn't you will turn over to police. But that well may mean he gets prosecuted...they might agree on a plea with treatment but he could go to jail. But that might be better than him killing himself or others. That is the hard option. The easier one is to lock everything up. But if he is an addict, he will find another eat to get. Maybe also seek out help from an al.annon group for those who love addicts. They might have better ideas and be able to give you support.

 

[LittleLab4CF]

Let's Blow this Safe!

This is something I wish I wasn’t an “expert” on. My bipolar I sister also had chronic pain. Suffice it to say I have been on narcotics for the better part of fifty years and I get large monthly supplies of fentanyl. For those who aren’t familiar with fentanyl, it is so addictive that fentanyl addiction is considered an occupational risk for anesthesiologists. It is also one a few narcotics that don’t kill off the liver and kidneys. My sister was after my drugs for nearly thirty years.

The difficulty for my sister included the addiction gene or whatever it is that compels a person to do literally anything for a fix. This meant she was always conning doctors, borrowing or stealing other people’s drugs and so forth. This was my sister!!! We had the same parents, same upbringing and her actions were in the seriously forbidden category based on her moral center. It started quite innocently as it seems to always be the situation. I knew her pain was real and I also knew about every doctor she saw to help explain the dilemma. The dilemma if it isn’t obvious is a justifiable need for pain management and some faulty wiring in her brain that displayed drug seeking behavior. And too much was never enough.

Buy a strong box or a small floor safe. Keep your drugs with you in a small strong box to carry. They are available. It is a smart thing to do anyway. I go to a special pharmacy to get my fentanyl prescription. It is located near and serves a number of hospices. One day I was pulling out of the parking lot and noticed a car following the pharmacy’s deliver vehicle. It was fishy enough that I called my pharmacy to let them know. It turned out their “tail” was undercover police because somebody had already hijacked their delivery vehicle. When I was getting that funny feeling up the back of my neck, paranoia struck and I looked in my rear view mirror! It is a frightening consideration.

This will end any problem with your drugs being usurped and provide a very logical reason why you are locking up you drugs now. It is a very tough situation and I feel for you. My sister committed suicide at age 52, Christmas 2008. We are guardians to her younger daughter who was almost 11 when she came to live with us. Through her hateful and fearful eyes a sense of how my sister viewed me (and my wife) quickly surfaced. How do you explain seemingly constant anger at somebody you love more than life itself? My niece is a well adjusted young lady now who’s older sister has coached through the reasons for the alternate realities of her mother.

LL

Addendum:
Small safes and strong boxes are sold at office supply super stores like Office Max or Staples. Don’t do anything by halves. Purchase something that can be bolted to the floor and/or wall. I’m not talking a huge amount of money, I randomly Googled “Office Max home safes” and found a Honeywell bolt down safe for $51. This is a firearm safe so it should be difficult to break into it.

Nothing prevents a safe from being opened or a strong box from being carried off. The difference between a strong box disappearing and an empty place on the floor where a box has been pried away is huge. If the box takes a walk, nobody is the wiser except you but when your wall or floor has the torn remains of bolt anchors, the police take charge. If it goes that far, they probably should be involved and everybody will be better for it.

 

[jbrandyn]

Thanks for the advice you two, I will take it.
B

 

[AndyMan]

Hi There,

I know it's a serious situation and please forgive me if my suggestion offends you, but a bit of humour can be the best medicine. Why not replace the pain killers with laxatives? You'll know for sure who has taken them.

 

[jshet]

Jbrandyn, I have been where you are. I take care of my mother n law who is on some strong pain meds. Members of the family have taken them in the past leaving her to suffer because we could not get a refill. My solution was easy and obvious to everyone which was fine by me. I bought a lockbox and kept the medication in there and kept the keys. I have not had a problem since. I also threw in if it happens again, I will call the police. Good luck.

 

[windex125]

Jbrandyn, I have been where you are. I take care of my mother n law who is on some strong pain meds. Members of the family have taken them in the past leaving her to suffer because we could not get a refill. My solution was easy and obvious to everyone which was fine by me. I bought a lockbox and kept the medication in there and kept the keys. I have not had a problem since. I also threw in if it happens again, I will call the police. Good luck.

I agree with a lock box, or carrying them with you at all time I hide my meds all over the house and the worse is sometimes I forget where they are...I made a liat and keep it on line no one hasmy password. Ny son is 23 and he constantly has friends over and even though I know them for years, I trust NO-ONE good luck. I know this is a hard one, but one that happens a lot. Pa CF-/59