Anyone w/CF not want to have kids?

(I know this thread is a few days old, but I have been out of the loop & am just now reading it)

As a pregnant wife of a CF male, I would just like to say that this topic does not offend me in the least. I think it would be incredibly naive for CFs and their loved ones NOT to have these thoughts and questions over whether or not to expand their family. I won't go into our entire marital history, but suffice it to say that Chris and I have an extremely healthy, strong marriage and are very open with each other about our fears, our concerns and our dreams. We are each other's best friend. And we were totally okay with the fact that we complete & fulfill each other's lives - we have never felt that we needed a child in order to feel 'complete' or that something was missing. But that being said, we both very much wanted a child and knew that if CF didn't exist that we would have had several with absolutely no hesitation. But CF does exist, and therefore we set the issue aside as a 'no' for the first 7 years of our marriage. But we re-opened the topic about 1 1/2 year ago (for lots of different reasons) and proceeded with my being tested to see whether or not I was a carrier. I am not; if I had been we would have re-closed it, or looked into adoption further. (He and I both could NOT knowingly give our offspring CF.) So knowing I am not a carrier, we proceeded with in vitro and after a miscarriage the first time, it was successful the second try & we are due with a baby girl this July.

I believe for every couple it is a personal decision - I applaud all of the choices made, as long as they are made with a great deal of thought and a healthy dose of realism that plans on the CF parent not being around (financially, emotionally, etc). Of course we hope for the best, but we have plans in place for the worst so that we are not completely blind-sided. I worry every day about the grief my unborn child will face when they lose their daddy. Whatever day that may be. But she will know how much she is <u>wanted</u>, cherished and loved - more than our fears.

I really liked the way lightnlife wrote about this topic in her blog: <i>I feel like a woman when my husband tells me he loves me. I feel like a woman when I make him happy just by making a lunch for him to take to work. I feel like a woman when I look at my beautiful wedding band and engagement ring. I don't need my uterus to stretch in order to feel like a woman. I am a woman because of how God wired my emotions and my ability to fulfill my husband. </i> I feel the same way - child or not, I am very fulfilled in being a woman already in being Chris' wife. Being pregnant currently does not make me feel more like a 'woman'.

I think it's a testimony to people's being honest with themselves to be able to say their true emotions on children.

Best of luck to all of you.
Liz
 
(I know this thread is a few days old, but I have been out of the loop & am just now reading it)

As a pregnant wife of a CF male, I would just like to say that this topic does not offend me in the least. I think it would be incredibly naive for CFs and their loved ones NOT to have these thoughts and questions over whether or not to expand their family. I won't go into our entire marital history, but suffice it to say that Chris and I have an extremely healthy, strong marriage and are very open with each other about our fears, our concerns and our dreams. We are each other's best friend. And we were totally okay with the fact that we complete & fulfill each other's lives - we have never felt that we needed a child in order to feel 'complete' or that something was missing. But that being said, we both very much wanted a child and knew that if CF didn't exist that we would have had several with absolutely no hesitation. But CF does exist, and therefore we set the issue aside as a 'no' for the first 7 years of our marriage. But we re-opened the topic about 1 1/2 year ago (for lots of different reasons) and proceeded with my being tested to see whether or not I was a carrier. I am not; if I had been we would have re-closed it, or looked into adoption further. (He and I both could NOT knowingly give our offspring CF.) So knowing I am not a carrier, we proceeded with in vitro and after a miscarriage the first time, it was successful the second try & we are due with a baby girl this July.

I believe for every couple it is a personal decision - I applaud all of the choices made, as long as they are made with a great deal of thought and a healthy dose of realism that plans on the CF parent not being around (financially, emotionally, etc). Of course we hope for the best, but we have plans in place for the worst so that we are not completely blind-sided. I worry every day about the grief my unborn child will face when they lose their daddy. Whatever day that may be. But she will know how much she is <u>wanted</u>, cherished and loved - more than our fears.

I really liked the way lightnlife wrote about this topic in her blog: <i>I feel like a woman when my husband tells me he loves me. I feel like a woman when I make him happy just by making a lunch for him to take to work. I feel like a woman when I look at my beautiful wedding band and engagement ring. I don't need my uterus to stretch in order to feel like a woman. I am a woman because of how God wired my emotions and my ability to fulfill my husband. </i> I feel the same way - child or not, I am very fulfilled in being a woman already in being Chris' wife. Being pregnant currently does not make me feel more like a 'woman'.

I think it's a testimony to people's being honest with themselves to be able to say their true emotions on children.

Best of luck to all of you.
Liz
 
(I know this thread is a few days old, but I have been out of the loop & am just now reading it)

As a pregnant wife of a CF male, I would just like to say that this topic does not offend me in the least. I think it would be incredibly naive for CFs and their loved ones NOT to have these thoughts and questions over whether or not to expand their family. I won't go into our entire marital history, but suffice it to say that Chris and I have an extremely healthy, strong marriage and are very open with each other about our fears, our concerns and our dreams. We are each other's best friend. And we were totally okay with the fact that we complete & fulfill each other's lives - we have never felt that we needed a child in order to feel 'complete' or that something was missing. But that being said, we both very much wanted a child and knew that if CF didn't exist that we would have had several with absolutely no hesitation. But CF does exist, and therefore we set the issue aside as a 'no' for the first 7 years of our marriage. But we re-opened the topic about 1 1/2 year ago (for lots of different reasons) and proceeded with my being tested to see whether or not I was a carrier. I am not; if I had been we would have re-closed it, or looked into adoption further. (He and I both could NOT knowingly give our offspring CF.) So knowing I am not a carrier, we proceeded with in vitro and after a miscarriage the first time, it was successful the second try & we are due with a baby girl this July.

I believe for every couple it is a personal decision - I applaud all of the choices made, as long as they are made with a great deal of thought and a healthy dose of realism that plans on the CF parent not being around (financially, emotionally, etc). Of course we hope for the best, but we have plans in place for the worst so that we are not completely blind-sided. I worry every day about the grief my unborn child will face when they lose their daddy. Whatever day that may be. But she will know how much she is <u>wanted</u>, cherished and loved - more than our fears.

I really liked the way lightnlife wrote about this topic in her blog: <i>I feel like a woman when my husband tells me he loves me. I feel like a woman when I make him happy just by making a lunch for him to take to work. I feel like a woman when I look at my beautiful wedding band and engagement ring. I don't need my uterus to stretch in order to feel like a woman. I am a woman because of how God wired my emotions and my ability to fulfill my husband. </i> I feel the same way - child or not, I am very fulfilled in being a woman already in being Chris' wife. Being pregnant currently does not make me feel more like a 'woman'.

I think it's a testimony to people's being honest with themselves to be able to say their true emotions on children.

Best of luck to all of you.
Liz
 
(I know this thread is a few days old, but I have been out of the loop & am just now reading it)

As a pregnant wife of a CF male, I would just like to say that this topic does not offend me in the least. I think it would be incredibly naive for CFs and their loved ones NOT to have these thoughts and questions over whether or not to expand their family. I won't go into our entire marital history, but suffice it to say that Chris and I have an extremely healthy, strong marriage and are very open with each other about our fears, our concerns and our dreams. We are each other's best friend. And we were totally okay with the fact that we complete & fulfill each other's lives - we have never felt that we needed a child in order to feel 'complete' or that something was missing. But that being said, we both very much wanted a child and knew that if CF didn't exist that we would have had several with absolutely no hesitation. But CF does exist, and therefore we set the issue aside as a 'no' for the first 7 years of our marriage. But we re-opened the topic about 1 1/2 year ago (for lots of different reasons) and proceeded with my being tested to see whether or not I was a carrier. I am not; if I had been we would have re-closed it, or looked into adoption further. (He and I both could NOT knowingly give our offspring CF.) So knowing I am not a carrier, we proceeded with in vitro and after a miscarriage the first time, it was successful the second try & we are due with a baby girl this July.

I believe for every couple it is a personal decision - I applaud all of the choices made, as long as they are made with a great deal of thought and a healthy dose of realism that plans on the CF parent not being around (financially, emotionally, etc). Of course we hope for the best, but we have plans in place for the worst so that we are not completely blind-sided. I worry every day about the grief my unborn child will face when they lose their daddy. Whatever day that may be. But she will know how much she is <u>wanted</u>, cherished and loved - more than our fears.

I really liked the way lightnlife wrote about this topic in her blog: <i>I feel like a woman when my husband tells me he loves me. I feel like a woman when I make him happy just by making a lunch for him to take to work. I feel like a woman when I look at my beautiful wedding band and engagement ring. I don't need my uterus to stretch in order to feel like a woman. I am a woman because of how God wired my emotions and my ability to fulfill my husband. </i> I feel the same way - child or not, I am very fulfilled in being a woman already in being Chris' wife. Being pregnant currently does not make me feel more like a 'woman'.

I think it's a testimony to people's being honest with themselves to be able to say their true emotions on children.

Best of luck to all of you.
Liz
 
(I know this thread is a few days old, but I have been out of the loop & am just now reading it)
<br />
<br />As a pregnant wife of a CF male, I would just like to say that this topic does not offend me in the least. I think it would be incredibly naive for CFs and their loved ones NOT to have these thoughts and questions over whether or not to expand their family. I won't go into our entire marital history, but suffice it to say that Chris and I have an extremely healthy, strong marriage and are very open with each other about our fears, our concerns and our dreams. We are each other's best friend. And we were totally okay with the fact that we complete & fulfill each other's lives - we have never felt that we needed a child in order to feel 'complete' or that something was missing. But that being said, we both very much wanted a child and knew that if CF didn't exist that we would have had several with absolutely no hesitation. But CF does exist, and therefore we set the issue aside as a 'no' for the first 7 years of our marriage. But we re-opened the topic about 1 1/2 year ago (for lots of different reasons) and proceeded with my being tested to see whether or not I was a carrier. I am not; if I had been we would have re-closed it, or looked into adoption further. (He and I both could NOT knowingly give our offspring CF.) So knowing I am not a carrier, we proceeded with in vitro and after a miscarriage the first time, it was successful the second try & we are due with a baby girl this July.
<br />
<br />I believe for every couple it is a personal decision - I applaud all of the choices made, as long as they are made with a great deal of thought and a healthy dose of realism that plans on the CF parent not being around (financially, emotionally, etc). Of course we hope for the best, but we have plans in place for the worst so that we are not completely blind-sided. I worry every day about the grief my unborn child will face when they lose their daddy. Whatever day that may be. But she will know how much she is <u>wanted</u>, cherished and loved - more than our fears.
<br />
<br />I really liked the way lightnlife wrote about this topic in her blog: <i>I feel like a woman when my husband tells me he loves me. I feel like a woman when I make him happy just by making a lunch for him to take to work. I feel like a woman when I look at my beautiful wedding band and engagement ring. I don't need my uterus to stretch in order to feel like a woman. I am a woman because of how God wired my emotions and my ability to fulfill my husband. </i> I feel the same way - child or not, I am very fulfilled in being a woman already in being Chris' wife. Being pregnant currently does not make me feel more like a 'woman'.
<br />
<br />I think it's a testimony to people's being honest with themselves to be able to say their true emotions on children.
<br />
<br />Best of luck to all of you.
<br />Liz
 
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