Anyone w/CF not want to have kids?

S

SeeEff

Guest
I have CF and when I was little (like most girls) thought that I would have babies when I grew up.
Now-a-days, I'm not so sure.
Let's say you have CF & get pregnant, you're in a ride.
Not only do you have to deal with all the normal pregnancy stuff, you have all your CF stuff & whatever complications that entails.
Then you have the baby & have to deal with the feedings and sleepless nights & generally just run ragged.
I have friends that are married, when they had their 1st baby, they looked like hell for a year. & there's nothing wrong with them.

ok, so how about adoption or surrogate? That takes pregnancy and giving birth stuff out of the equation.

Fine, then as the kids grows, they get sick all the time (small colds, runny noses) but sick. I can't be around ANYONE whose sick, cuz I'll get sick. if I'm sick, who takes care of the kid?
And all the stress of taking care or a kid & now if you have your kid get too many shots at once, they might get autism?!
I'm worried about a normal kid, let alone an autistic!

Basically, what I'm getting at is the risks to the health of a woman w/CF giving birth to a baby and then raising that baby seem extremely high.
Does anyone else feel like this?
Does anyone else feel they can have a fulfilled life w/o having children?
I am I supposed to feel bad or a failure cuz I'm not sure that I want to have kids?
 
S

SeeEff

Guest
I have CF and when I was little (like most girls) thought that I would have babies when I grew up.
Now-a-days, I'm not so sure.
Let's say you have CF & get pregnant, you're in a ride.
Not only do you have to deal with all the normal pregnancy stuff, you have all your CF stuff & whatever complications that entails.
Then you have the baby & have to deal with the feedings and sleepless nights & generally just run ragged.
I have friends that are married, when they had their 1st baby, they looked like hell for a year. & there's nothing wrong with them.

ok, so how about adoption or surrogate? That takes pregnancy and giving birth stuff out of the equation.

Fine, then as the kids grows, they get sick all the time (small colds, runny noses) but sick. I can't be around ANYONE whose sick, cuz I'll get sick. if I'm sick, who takes care of the kid?
And all the stress of taking care or a kid & now if you have your kid get too many shots at once, they might get autism?!
I'm worried about a normal kid, let alone an autistic!

Basically, what I'm getting at is the risks to the health of a woman w/CF giving birth to a baby and then raising that baby seem extremely high.
Does anyone else feel like this?
Does anyone else feel they can have a fulfilled life w/o having children?
I am I supposed to feel bad or a failure cuz I'm not sure that I want to have kids?
 
S

SeeEff

Guest
I have CF and when I was little (like most girls) thought that I would have babies when I grew up.
Now-a-days, I'm not so sure.
Let's say you have CF & get pregnant, you're in a ride.
Not only do you have to deal with all the normal pregnancy stuff, you have all your CF stuff & whatever complications that entails.
Then you have the baby & have to deal with the feedings and sleepless nights & generally just run ragged.
I have friends that are married, when they had their 1st baby, they looked like hell for a year. & there's nothing wrong with them.

ok, so how about adoption or surrogate? That takes pregnancy and giving birth stuff out of the equation.

Fine, then as the kids grows, they get sick all the time (small colds, runny noses) but sick. I can't be around ANYONE whose sick, cuz I'll get sick. if I'm sick, who takes care of the kid?
And all the stress of taking care or a kid & now if you have your kid get too many shots at once, they might get autism?!
I'm worried about a normal kid, let alone an autistic!

Basically, what I'm getting at is the risks to the health of a woman w/CF giving birth to a baby and then raising that baby seem extremely high.
Does anyone else feel like this?
Does anyone else feel they can have a fulfilled life w/o having children?
I am I supposed to feel bad or a failure cuz I'm not sure that I want to have kids?
 
S

SeeEff

Guest
I have CF and when I was little (like most girls) thought that I would have babies when I grew up.
Now-a-days, I'm not so sure.
Let's say you have CF & get pregnant, you're in a ride.
Not only do you have to deal with all the normal pregnancy stuff, you have all your CF stuff & whatever complications that entails.
Then you have the baby & have to deal with the feedings and sleepless nights & generally just run ragged.
I have friends that are married, when they had their 1st baby, they looked like hell for a year. & there's nothing wrong with them.

ok, so how about adoption or surrogate? That takes pregnancy and giving birth stuff out of the equation.

Fine, then as the kids grows, they get sick all the time (small colds, runny noses) but sick. I can't be around ANYONE whose sick, cuz I'll get sick. if I'm sick, who takes care of the kid?
And all the stress of taking care or a kid & now if you have your kid get too many shots at once, they might get autism?!
I'm worried about a normal kid, let alone an autistic!

Basically, what I'm getting at is the risks to the health of a woman w/CF giving birth to a baby and then raising that baby seem extremely high.
Does anyone else feel like this?
Does anyone else feel they can have a fulfilled life w/o having children?
I am I supposed to feel bad or a failure cuz I'm not sure that I want to have kids?
 
S

SeeEff

Guest
I have CF and when I was little (like most girls) thought that I would have babies when I grew up.
<br />Now-a-days, I'm not so sure.
<br />Let's say you have CF & get pregnant, you're in a ride.
<br />Not only do you have to deal with all the normal pregnancy stuff, you have all your CF stuff & whatever complications that entails.
<br />Then you have the baby & have to deal with the feedings and sleepless nights & generally just run ragged.
<br />I have friends that are married, when they had their 1st baby, they looked like hell for a year. & there's nothing wrong with them.
<br />
<br />ok, so how about adoption or surrogate? That takes pregnancy and giving birth stuff out of the equation.
<br />
<br />Fine, then as the kids grows, they get sick all the time (small colds, runny noses) but sick. I can't be around ANYONE whose sick, cuz I'll get sick. if I'm sick, who takes care of the kid?
<br />And all the stress of taking care or a kid & now if you have your kid get too many shots at once, they might get autism?!
<br />I'm worried about a normal kid, let alone an autistic!
<br />
<br />Basically, what I'm getting at is the risks to the health of a woman w/CF giving birth to a baby and then raising that baby seem extremely high.
<br />Does anyone else feel like this?
<br />Does anyone else feel they can have a fulfilled life w/o having children?
<br />I am I supposed to feel bad or a failure cuz I'm not sure that I want to have kids?
 

Emily65Roses

New member
Kids are not out of the question for me... but I have accepted the fact that I probably won't ever have any. I literally cannot get pregnant, so there's that. Then I know raising a kid would take years off of my life.

YES, you can have a fulfilled life without having children. And NO you are not a failure if you never have them or want them. I probably won't either. And I'm getting married. I'm going to have a career. We have pets. We'll have our own place in a year and a half or so. It's all plenty fulfilling for me. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. If other people think you need more in your life, it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you think. And if a career, a place, pets, a spouse, etc. (whatever the case may be) is enough for you, then it's enough. Period.
 

Emily65Roses

New member
Kids are not out of the question for me... but I have accepted the fact that I probably won't ever have any. I literally cannot get pregnant, so there's that. Then I know raising a kid would take years off of my life.

YES, you can have a fulfilled life without having children. And NO you are not a failure if you never have them or want them. I probably won't either. And I'm getting married. I'm going to have a career. We have pets. We'll have our own place in a year and a half or so. It's all plenty fulfilling for me. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. If other people think you need more in your life, it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you think. And if a career, a place, pets, a spouse, etc. (whatever the case may be) is enough for you, then it's enough. Period.
 

Emily65Roses

New member
Kids are not out of the question for me... but I have accepted the fact that I probably won't ever have any. I literally cannot get pregnant, so there's that. Then I know raising a kid would take years off of my life.

YES, you can have a fulfilled life without having children. And NO you are not a failure if you never have them or want them. I probably won't either. And I'm getting married. I'm going to have a career. We have pets. We'll have our own place in a year and a half or so. It's all plenty fulfilling for me. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. If other people think you need more in your life, it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you think. And if a career, a place, pets, a spouse, etc. (whatever the case may be) is enough for you, then it's enough. Period.
 

Emily65Roses

New member
Kids are not out of the question for me... but I have accepted the fact that I probably won't ever have any. I literally cannot get pregnant, so there's that. Then I know raising a kid would take years off of my life.

YES, you can have a fulfilled life without having children. And NO you are not a failure if you never have them or want them. I probably won't either. And I'm getting married. I'm going to have a career. We have pets. We'll have our own place in a year and a half or so. It's all plenty fulfilling for me. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. If other people think you need more in your life, it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you think. And if a career, a place, pets, a spouse, etc. (whatever the case may be) is enough for you, then it's enough. Period.
 

Emily65Roses

New member
Kids are not out of the question for me... but I have accepted the fact that I probably won't ever have any. I literally cannot get pregnant, so there's that. Then I know raising a kid would take years off of my life.
<br />
<br />YES, you can have a fulfilled life without having children. And NO you are not a failure if you never have them or want them. I probably won't either. And I'm getting married. I'm going to have a career. We have pets. We'll have our own place in a year and a half or so. It's all plenty fulfilling for me. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. If other people think you need more in your life, it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you think. And if a career, a place, pets, a spouse, etc. (whatever the case may be) is enough for you, then it's enough. Period.
 

JazzysMom

New member
These are all very valid & legit issues to think about. My pregnancy was fabulous, but the care of my daughter is what took its toll.

She wasnt a difficult baby or a sickly child thankfully. Even with the help of my hubby it takes a toll.

You dont really understand the impact until you are in the middle of it. I always worried about her growing up without a Mom. The one thing I didnt think of is how she would handle all the progression & hospital admits while growing up.

DO NOT FEEL BADLY if you choose not to be a parent (pregnancy or adoption). Its a HUGE undertaking & although I wouldnt give my daughter up for anything, it is not an easy road.

Woman are here for more then just giving birth. Family & fullfillment are more then just bearing children.

Dont ever let anyone make you feel otherwise!
 

JazzysMom

New member
These are all very valid & legit issues to think about. My pregnancy was fabulous, but the care of my daughter is what took its toll.

She wasnt a difficult baby or a sickly child thankfully. Even with the help of my hubby it takes a toll.

You dont really understand the impact until you are in the middle of it. I always worried about her growing up without a Mom. The one thing I didnt think of is how she would handle all the progression & hospital admits while growing up.

DO NOT FEEL BADLY if you choose not to be a parent (pregnancy or adoption). Its a HUGE undertaking & although I wouldnt give my daughter up for anything, it is not an easy road.

Woman are here for more then just giving birth. Family & fullfillment are more then just bearing children.

Dont ever let anyone make you feel otherwise!
 

JazzysMom

New member
These are all very valid & legit issues to think about. My pregnancy was fabulous, but the care of my daughter is what took its toll.

She wasnt a difficult baby or a sickly child thankfully. Even with the help of my hubby it takes a toll.

You dont really understand the impact until you are in the middle of it. I always worried about her growing up without a Mom. The one thing I didnt think of is how she would handle all the progression & hospital admits while growing up.

DO NOT FEEL BADLY if you choose not to be a parent (pregnancy or adoption). Its a HUGE undertaking & although I wouldnt give my daughter up for anything, it is not an easy road.

Woman are here for more then just giving birth. Family & fullfillment are more then just bearing children.

Dont ever let anyone make you feel otherwise!
 

JazzysMom

New member
These are all very valid & legit issues to think about. My pregnancy was fabulous, but the care of my daughter is what took its toll.

She wasnt a difficult baby or a sickly child thankfully. Even with the help of my hubby it takes a toll.

You dont really understand the impact until you are in the middle of it. I always worried about her growing up without a Mom. The one thing I didnt think of is how she would handle all the progression & hospital admits while growing up.

DO NOT FEEL BADLY if you choose not to be a parent (pregnancy or adoption). Its a HUGE undertaking & although I wouldnt give my daughter up for anything, it is not an easy road.

Woman are here for more then just giving birth. Family & fullfillment are more then just bearing children.

Dont ever let anyone make you feel otherwise!
 

JazzysMom

New member
These are all very valid & legit issues to think about. My pregnancy was fabulous, but the care of my daughter is what took its toll.
<br />
<br />She wasnt a difficult baby or a sickly child thankfully. Even with the help of my hubby it takes a toll.
<br />
<br />You dont really understand the impact until you are in the middle of it. I always worried about her growing up without a Mom. The one thing I didnt think of is how she would handle all the progression & hospital admits while growing up.
<br />
<br />DO NOT FEEL BADLY if you choose not to be a parent (pregnancy or adoption). Its a HUGE undertaking & although I wouldnt give my daughter up for anything, it is not an easy road.
<br />
<br />Woman are here for more then just giving birth. Family & fullfillment are more then just bearing children.
<br />
<br />Dont ever let anyone make you feel otherwise!
 

TwistedTanya

New member
I prefer to have a dog over a kid. I can't handle all their energy, crying, screaming, how they get sick a lot, they are expensive, and then you have to worry about them at school or when they hang out with friends, hoping you raise them right...too much to handle! I'd prefer to spend my time going on vacations, seeing new places, spending time with my family and friends, and having my own hobbies. Some people in this world have kids for the wrong reasons too. I think women with CF do risk their own health if they choose to have kids. Our bodies are already struggling so much as it is that having a kid puts even a bigger toll on them. Maybe it's ok for someone who has a PFT in the 90's but most of us aren't that fortunate. Plus down the road things can take a drastic change and it may be to hard to take care of a kid then. I have ALWAYS been advised against having kids and that doesn't really bother me. I love my dog...she's quiet, easy to take care of, doesn't need clothes or schooling, etc..I can easily go on vacation without her, and I think she's cuter than kids are, hehe. So you shouldn't feel bad or a failure at all. That's nonsence! I think for CF women, the "smarter" choice is to not have kids. Some people think it's worth the risk, I don't. Even if I didn't have CF I don't think I'd want a kid either.
 

TwistedTanya

New member
I prefer to have a dog over a kid. I can't handle all their energy, crying, screaming, how they get sick a lot, they are expensive, and then you have to worry about them at school or when they hang out with friends, hoping you raise them right...too much to handle! I'd prefer to spend my time going on vacations, seeing new places, spending time with my family and friends, and having my own hobbies. Some people in this world have kids for the wrong reasons too. I think women with CF do risk their own health if they choose to have kids. Our bodies are already struggling so much as it is that having a kid puts even a bigger toll on them. Maybe it's ok for someone who has a PFT in the 90's but most of us aren't that fortunate. Plus down the road things can take a drastic change and it may be to hard to take care of a kid then. I have ALWAYS been advised against having kids and that doesn't really bother me. I love my dog...she's quiet, easy to take care of, doesn't need clothes or schooling, etc..I can easily go on vacation without her, and I think she's cuter than kids are, hehe. So you shouldn't feel bad or a failure at all. That's nonsence! I think for CF women, the "smarter" choice is to not have kids. Some people think it's worth the risk, I don't. Even if I didn't have CF I don't think I'd want a kid either.
 

TwistedTanya

New member
I prefer to have a dog over a kid. I can't handle all their energy, crying, screaming, how they get sick a lot, they are expensive, and then you have to worry about them at school or when they hang out with friends, hoping you raise them right...too much to handle! I'd prefer to spend my time going on vacations, seeing new places, spending time with my family and friends, and having my own hobbies. Some people in this world have kids for the wrong reasons too. I think women with CF do risk their own health if they choose to have kids. Our bodies are already struggling so much as it is that having a kid puts even a bigger toll on them. Maybe it's ok for someone who has a PFT in the 90's but most of us aren't that fortunate. Plus down the road things can take a drastic change and it may be to hard to take care of a kid then. I have ALWAYS been advised against having kids and that doesn't really bother me. I love my dog...she's quiet, easy to take care of, doesn't need clothes or schooling, etc..I can easily go on vacation without her, and I think she's cuter than kids are, hehe. So you shouldn't feel bad or a failure at all. That's nonsence! I think for CF women, the "smarter" choice is to not have kids. Some people think it's worth the risk, I don't. Even if I didn't have CF I don't think I'd want a kid either.
 

TwistedTanya

New member
I prefer to have a dog over a kid. I can't handle all their energy, crying, screaming, how they get sick a lot, they are expensive, and then you have to worry about them at school or when they hang out with friends, hoping you raise them right...too much to handle! I'd prefer to spend my time going on vacations, seeing new places, spending time with my family and friends, and having my own hobbies. Some people in this world have kids for the wrong reasons too. I think women with CF do risk their own health if they choose to have kids. Our bodies are already struggling so much as it is that having a kid puts even a bigger toll on them. Maybe it's ok for someone who has a PFT in the 90's but most of us aren't that fortunate. Plus down the road things can take a drastic change and it may be to hard to take care of a kid then. I have ALWAYS been advised against having kids and that doesn't really bother me. I love my dog...she's quiet, easy to take care of, doesn't need clothes or schooling, etc..I can easily go on vacation without her, and I think she's cuter than kids are, hehe. So you shouldn't feel bad or a failure at all. That's nonsence! I think for CF women, the "smarter" choice is to not have kids. Some people think it's worth the risk, I don't. Even if I didn't have CF I don't think I'd want a kid either.
 

TwistedTanya

New member
I prefer to have a dog over a kid. I can't handle all their energy, crying, screaming, how they get sick a lot, they are expensive, and then you have to worry about them at school or when they hang out with friends, hoping you raise them right...too much to handle! I'd prefer to spend my time going on vacations, seeing new places, spending time with my family and friends, and having my own hobbies. Some people in this world have kids for the wrong reasons too. I think women with CF do risk their own health if they choose to have kids. Our bodies are already struggling so much as it is that having a kid puts even a bigger toll on them. Maybe it's ok for someone who has a PFT in the 90's but most of us aren't that fortunate. Plus down the road things can take a drastic change and it may be to hard to take care of a kid then. I have ALWAYS been advised against having kids and that doesn't really bother me. I love my dog...she's quiet, easy to take care of, doesn't need clothes or schooling, etc..I can easily go on vacation without her, and I think she's cuter than kids are, hehe. So you shouldn't feel bad or a failure at all. That's nonsence! I think for CF women, the "smarter" choice is to not have kids. Some people think it's worth the risk, I don't. Even if I didn't have CF I don't think I'd want a kid either.
 
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