Are you a parent who has lost a child to CF and has another still living with CF

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heather1

Guest
My DD 20 passed away on 2/08/2013, her 13 YO sis doesn't have any confidence in our CF Clinic bc of mistakes made. Other clinics are at least 3 hours away. Any advice from parents/ siblings on how to encourage 13 YO to continue treatments ?
 

Aboveallislove

Super Moderator
I am so sorry for your loss. It must be doubly hard to have to face that daily while you worry about your other daughter and see her not wanting to do treatments. My heart aches for you.

If you haven't read Lisa Greene's book on parenting children with a chronic health condition, I'd strongly recommended it because with her examples you can think what might work for you. One of the main points there is to ask questions, give control where you can, etc. Even though the center is 3 hours away, I wonder if you tried asking your daughter "now, that you are older you need to have input on your care. Do you think you'd like to try the other Center to see if you are more comfortable there?" Just having the option to try might help her feel in control more. Also, she is old enough to understand the basic science and I wonder if it might help to ask her if she knows how close they are to a real treatment? Do you know her mutations? Ask her if she knows her mutations and what they mean. What drugs are close to being approved, etc. If you post her mutations, I'll try to give you a quick summary.... The book though has soooo many great examples that you'll devour it with "ah ha" flashes of "this will work." Please know of my prayers for you and her.
 
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heather1

Guest
Thank you for your great advice/ suggestions. I will have to check it out. Her mutations are F508 and 3120G-A.

Her sister was taking very good care of herself and had just gone in for a sinus surgery and bronch. A mistake during the bronch left her on a vent (with a trach ) for 3 weeks. Then were problems with ECMO ...that's why we don't have much confidence in our CF center. Her primary care doc doesn't want us going 3 hours away for clinic(in case of emergency). Really unsure what to do now.
 

Aboveallislove

Super Moderator
Oh sweetie, I am so very sorry. I can't even imagine how devasting for your entire family and no wonder she feels hopeless and fearful. I wonder if there might be someone your family could talk with to help sort out all these enormous feelings that are incomprehensible to an adult, much less a young lady. The book has some great points on how to mirror her feelings and validating them, and with great examples. But on a more practical level, again to give her some sense of control, a few thoughts: First, I can see your primary care doctor's point of view, but would it be possible to do an annual visit with the other clinic, have contacts established and if she does need to have sinus surgery or something that can be planned out, having it done there instead? I think I've read a few here who had done something similar. Maybe try sitting with her and brainstorming ideas, where you ask her what she thinks and whether she's like some ideas that you've come up with (again the book is so great on setting out the script on this).


Re her mutations. Yippee!!! 3120G-A is a residual function mutation, which means that there is evidence that Kalydeco works for it. Kalydeco is already approved and available, but not yet approved for residual function mutations. BUT your doctor can still prescribe it and you have good grounds for insurance coverage because there is evidence that it works. Specifically, Vertex has Phase 2 results for a trial with those with residual function, expressly including 3120G-A.

https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/record/NCT01685801?term=vertex+residual+function&rank=1


The results were positive and Vertex is moving to a Phase 3 study following discussions with the FDA.


http://investors.vrtx.com/releasedetail.cfm?ReleaseID=852372


And Vertex is also doing a Phase 3 study of a combination of VX661 and Kalydeco with an arm for those with residual function, and the evidence shows the two drugs together improve CFTR function even more!!!


So the hope is amazing. Kalydeco should already works for her and I would suggest you review, talk to your daughter and try to help her formulate a plan to have the doctor prescribe it for her. Make this "her" thing. There are several other posts here with folks getting off-label and discussing what they used to support it. OR discuss with her trying to get on the Phase 3 trial for residual function or the VX661 and Kalydeco. And to know of the hope, especially if she has sinus issues, which I can see pertrifying her (and you), find Jenny’s posts on her daughter Abby. (If sinus issues are a problem for her, let me know and I’ll send Jenny a note too to alert her and see if she can provide you more details.) And read this before/after summary: http://luckycfmom.blogspot.com/search?q=sinus


Kalydeco could be a wonderful thing medically for your daughter, and as importantly, the process of learning all of this and making her a collaborator on devicing a game plan for moving forward can help her control what has to be sooooo unbelievably hard.

Please know of my continued prayers. And a big hug to you mom who must be missing your precious daughter so much, while trying to help your other daughter.
 
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heather1

Guest
Aboveallislove, Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. Your prayers and advice are very much appreciated.
 

Jane

Digital opinion leader
Heather, I am so sorry for your loss.
My family is going through a similar situation. My 19 year old son passed in May while on ECMO waiting for new lungs. My older son (23 with CF) was in great shape for several years but isn't taking care of himself right now. It is so hard to watch especially after losing one child.
13 is a complicated age anyway- never mind for kids with CF. it's also hard to have no trust in the doctors. Are there other doctors in the same clinic. Have spoken to the social worker about it?
I really don't have other advice- just wanted you to know I understand.
 
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heather1

Guest
Jane, I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved son. We have 1 dr @ Nationwide Children's in Columbus that we currently trust. I have to request her each visit. They actually had the nerve to give Madi the idiot who was 'assisting' with Morgan's bronch when everything went terribly wrong.

May I ask if there were complications from the ECMO with your son? The nurse 'got busy' and forgot to let them know about the alarm going off for re-gelling the machine. To make a long story short, she suffered brain and kidney damage because of the machine going down.
I just don't have faith in anyone, but God now.

Love and hugs to your family during this holiday season!
Heather
 
I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I can't imagine the pain u feel. I wish there was no pain and suffering. I am so sorry. If I were u my anger would be so that I would contact an attorney to see if there is anything that can be done for the stupid mistakes they made on your child. I wish I had done that years ago as the doctor ignored my repeated pleas for what could be wrong and was hospitalized and tested for spinal meningitis etc but missed CF. This same doctor told us whem we found out that he already had 2 children he cared for with CF and one wasn't doing so well so he was familiar wih CF but ignored me. I would make them pay. I know that sounds angry but I know how it is to love a child so much but I hope I never find out how it is to lose one. I am so sorry.
 
I am so sorry to u Heather for the loss of your daughter - idk what DD meant but I guess that means daughter. I am sorry to Jane for the loss of her son. I would contact an attorney like I just said for the damage they did to your child. That shouldn't have happened when lives depend on the doctors and nurses and they screw up.
 
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GoryLori

Guest
Heather1,
I drive 4 hours each way to attend CF care as it is THAT important to me. While I am not a parent, I did have 2 siblings die from CF. I am the 3rd and final person in our family of 6 with CF. Guess we won the genetic lottery, eh?? It was my decision to seek the best care and I had the choice of staying locally where all my CF care was STILL in Pediatrics (and I was 35 at the time) or hiking it 202 miles away (4 hours) to a new CF clinic. My life was on the line so off we went, my husband and I. We have now been going to the DUKE University Medical Center for 10 years and that was many more years that I would not have had if I stayed local. Ask your daughter what SHE would like to do. Yes it will be a trek if she wants to travel for care, but knowing your experience with your other daughter, only YOU can decide what is right. If I do have an acute emergency, I would go local, get stabilized, then transferred by ambulance to Duke. Been there, done it twice now. Pray about this issue. Hugs from GoryLori
 

Jennyvb17

New member
Hi,
First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Second, I live in Michigan, and currently drive 2.5 hours to go to the CF clinic in Ann arbor at the university of Michigan. There is a clinic In my city on the other side of the state, but after having sub par care, I called the u of m and I went for a consult. I never looked back, the doctors there are amazing. I was an adult when I started there, so I don't know much about their teen program, but know they do a lot to make sure their transition from child care to adult care meets the kids needs.

Emergency care had never been a problem. They will prescribe antibiotics based on the latest culture, and if they don't work, then I go in to see them.
The one time I was home on ivs and spiked a temp, I went to a local hospital. They talked to my dr everyday, and it things were more serious or I was uncomfortable I was stable enough to make the trip.

I do assume when things get close to transplant I will move closer until I have new lungs. But I'm at an fev1 of 40 and am only hospitalized once or twice a year.

I think the most important thing is finding someone your daughter trusts, no matter how far you have to drive to get there.
 
I agree with Jenny. When my son was living closer he would travel to get to my house and then the two of us would travel hours away from my/our home. When he had to be hospitalized we took time off between me and my husband and also my mother came and stayed with him. He is now living in a state far away and he has talked to his doctors and they have agreed to continue seeing him and treating him as long as he is stable and doing well. They did say if he got sick that they wanted him to see the clinic close to him. He is planning on taking a couple days off for his next appointment and flying back here and then we will travel there together. There is a clinic that is closer to our home but I felt they were failing him at one time so we looked elsewhere. The doctors there are wonderful and patient and kind and very helpful.
 
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