Our family watched my father lose the battle for his barely 48 year life that ended August 1970. Undiagnosed until autopsy, we watched what amounted to all the things one shouldn't do for CF, all at the family doctors direction. In the end, he mercifly went quickly. I was 20 years old and overnight became the family bread winner. So much of your life instantly changed the moment he shed the bonds of his mortal coil. You have had a celebritory good by. The fridge is almost clear of loaned dishes used to hold meals the first week after your husband's passing. He has found his peace, and now you must find yours. If the final take away is a pleasant day starting with some quality time, an end to suffering, for him and a baby from a combination of you both. Long, lonely times, maybe strongest when you go to an empty bed or finishing out the nursery. Live without the weight of his memory, love knowing he wants and expects your life to be rich and full. It is a release as much for you as it is for you. Mourn, then grieve as you need to as you move on. I am so sad for you. Good Luck
