You are in a tough spot, for sure. It is painful and lonely, I know. I am the grandmother of three year old twin grandsons with cystic fibrosis and even though my daughter (separated from husband) has a great support system, it does not fill the void of the absent husband and father. We keep encouraging her to remember that she isn't alone although it sure seems that way to her sometimes. Everyone that she knows is touched by the boys' plight. Even though we are in her corner, with the implication that it is ultimately her fight, when she comes to the corner between rounds we towel her off and encourage her to continue! Hang in there! Keep your chin tucked under and your hands up to protect yourself and you will come through the rounds, maybe a little battered but alive and kicking!<br>
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Husband is not sure he can handle the stresses of CF life...
You are in a tough spot, for sure. It is painful and lonely, I know. I am the grandmother of three year old twin grandsons with cystic fibrosis and even though my daughter (separated from husband) has a great support system, it does not fill the void of the absent husband and father. We keep encouraging her to remember that she isn't alone although it sure seems that way to her sometimes. Everyone that she knows is touched by the boys' plight. Even though we are in her corner, with the implication that it is ultimately her fight, when she comes to the corner between rounds we towel her off and encourage her to continue! Hang in there! Keep your chin tucked under and your hands up to protect yourself and you will come through the rounds, maybe a little battered but alive and kicking!<br>
KaiserWilly
New member
I am sorry to hear of your loss. I had a transplant this past January. I was in the hospital for five months and my wife of fifteen years bailed on me and moved out of state to be with a friend. It would almost be better if she had left me for another man instead of just finding a place to stay. She left me with three cats, two dogs and a bird. I could only keep the dogs and so after her bailing on me, I had to find most of my pets new homes and "bail" on them. I still feel horrible for doing that but I did the best I could because medically I could not have cats or a bird after transplant and she knew this before she left. I don't really know what to tell you other than it slowly does not hurt as much, you start thinking about other things and it is good you have your family to return to. I have found a few outside interests like playing the hand drums to bid my time with. The percussion also helps keep my new lungs clear and I have one friend that watches out for me that knew my ex from her belly dance classes. Our divorce was final on December 18 so this has been a really sad Christmas for me. We have no choice but to fight or die and those people around us often have the luxury of choice. I guess the only thing I can look forward to regarding having any future confidence that any mate will not turn and run is to be honest with her ( whoever she is) and tell her up front what she will be dealing with. I am hoping for the priviledge of being with a woman of character and dedication that won't grow weary and run. But until that day I will hope that I will be considered by someone a precious stone in the rough, requiring some work on their part to uncover my real worth and hopefully be rewarded by my gratitude and devotion. Until then, I will drum and some of the dancers from her old dance troupe will sway to my music and at least in that moment, this rock will shine however briefly. Kaiser Willy
KaiserWilly
New member
I am sorry to hear of your loss. I had a transplant this past January. I was in the hospital for five months and my wife of fifteen years bailed on me and moved out of state to be with a friend. It would almost be better if she had left me for another man instead of just finding a place to stay. She left me with three cats, two dogs and a bird. I could only keep the dogs and so after her bailing on me, I had to find most of my pets new homes and "bail" on them. I still feel horrible for doing that but I did the best I could because medically I could not have cats or a bird after transplant and she knew this before she left. I don't really know what to tell you other than it slowly does not hurt as much, you start thinking about other things and it is good you have your family to return to. I have found a few outside interests like playing the hand drums to bid my time with. The percussion also helps keep my new lungs clear and I have one friend that watches out for me that knew my ex from her belly dance classes. Our divorce was final on December 18 so this has been a really sad Christmas for me. We have no choice but to fight or die and those people around us often have the luxury of choice. I guess the only thing I can look forward to regarding having any future confidence that any mate will not turn and run is to be honest with her ( whoever she is) and tell her up front what she will be dealing with. I am hoping for the priviledge of being with a woman of character and dedication that won't grow weary and run. But until that day I will hope that I will be considered by someone a precious stone in the rough, requiring some work on their part to uncover my real worth and hopefully be rewarded by my gratitude and devotion. Until then, I will drum and some of the dancers from her old dance troupe will sway to my music and at least in that moment, this rock will shine however briefly. Kaiser Willy
S
Swallowtail66
Guest
To the right eyes, you will not be so rough! Thank you for the encouragement.
S
Swallowtail66
Guest
To the right eyes, you will not be so rough! Thank you for the encouragement.
S
Swallowtail66
Guest
An update...we are dating, but not living together. We are doing a study from Fireproof and really enjoying it. We have had some very serious talks. My daughter has been sick and is facing some surgery and he promises to be with me. I was just diagnosed with a tortuous colon (a twisty ball of sigmoid colon....fun fun) and probably have to have it taken out. He took the news like a trouper. He says he will be at the hospital and bring me home and take care of me. This will be an interesting test. I sure hope he passes!
S
Swallowtail66
Guest
An update...we are dating, but not living together. We are doing a study from Fireproof and really enjoying it. We have had some very serious talks. My daughter has been sick and is facing some surgery and he promises to be with me. I was just diagnosed with a tortuous colon (a twisty ball of sigmoid colon....fun fun) and probably have to have it taken out. He took the news like a trouper. He says he will be at the hospital and bring me home and take care of me. This will be an interesting test. I sure hope he passes!
I just feel bad for you. Marriage is supposed to be in sickness and in health. He really should have thought about the sick part too, especially marrying you knowing that you had CF. I just married my husband last October and I will never, ever, leave him. I've been with him for 3 years and I just guess some people deal with things easier than others. We've been through a tough battle with his CF but his CF is my CF. I love him, and everything about him, it doesn't matter what changes in his disease or whatever, I believe everyone should be loved for who they are. I would suggest finding someone who will do just that.
I just feel bad for you. Marriage is supposed to be in sickness and in health. He really should have thought about the sick part too, especially marrying you knowing that you had CF. I just married my husband last October and I will never, ever, leave him. I've been with him for 3 years and I just guess some people deal with things easier than others. We've been through a tough battle with his CF but his CF is my CF. I love him, and everything about him, it doesn't matter what changes in his disease or whatever, I believe everyone should be loved for who they are. I would suggest finding someone who will do just that.