I thought you were a smoker

Melissa75

Administrator
Do you get this comment when you say things like "I'm not contagious, I have an asthma-like condition/cf/a lung disease"?

I recently got that comment when I felt I had to reassure someone I was in close quarters with for a long time that i didnt have the flu.

It makes sense that the person would assume this (I'm not upset at them), and that made me wonder how many people I sorta know think I smoke.

I realize I shouldn't care too much what people think, and being thought of as a smoker is not such a big deal. But I get a little upset mostly that other parents in my community might think I smoke and don't have regard for its impact on my kids/family.

I am taking the thoughts too far, perhaps... I am aware and very grateful that I am healthy enough that this confusion could even exist.

Have any of you had this experience? Does it bother you?
 

nmw0615

New member
I recently pulled up to a Walgreens, and there was a man pacing outside the doors. I had a coughing fit as I got out of my car, and he ran over to me, looking excited. He goes, "you sound like a smoker! Got a light?!" I was horrified and quickly shut him down by saying "my lungs are damaged enough from a genetic disease; smoking is idiotic." And then I walked away.

It's tough because I think CFers can sound like smokers. We've got that awful, junky, hacking cough. I try to make it clear whenever I feel necessary that I never smoke, never have smoked, and never will smoke.
 

Aboveallislove

Super Moderator
I'm vicariously upset! And for the reasons nmw says: Every time I see a smoker I get angry. Very angry. They were blessed with healthy lungs and even after inhaling poison for years their lungs will still look much healthier than many with CF. (They had pictures showing lungs of healthy, smoker, CF, once and CF was by far the worse!!
 

static

New member
So I guess I'm going to be on the other end of the spectrum because I know/ am friendly towards smokers. Of course, I'm never around when they do it.

After talking with them I found this is a true addiction. Bottom line, it messes with your brain. Most smokers know the health risks and want to quit, but just like CF addiction affects people in a multitude of ways. Some people are able to quit cold turkey, others need more extreme measures.

I came across one story where they started at 3, 3 years old! Smoking is all this person ever knew and in a sense identified them, so you can imagine the terror they would go through if they were forced to quit.

I definitely understand the frustration of people abusing what we don't have, but I learned hating them for it won't fix me. Just my two cents.

Oh yeah to answer the question I have been mistaken for a smoker before, both at the Gym and get this, at my freaked hospital getting my chest x Ray done (you would think they would look at my chart or something beforehand). I think the real problem is people jumping to conclusions and making snap judgements
 

Twistofchaos

New member
Yes I've often been mistaken for a smoker. People usually just blank derp stare when I tell them instead I have CF. I'm somewhat secretive about my CF but in such a case it's fun to drop that bomb.
One strange way to avoid being mistaken a smoker when in a crowd and you feel the worst anyone could think of you is a smoker, is following a cough simply sniff your nose and pull a face like you have a fever/touch your forehead. People then think oh the guy has a cold. It works, I got good at that. They still don't want to sit with me but atleast they don't think I'm a smoker.

After talking with them I found this is a true addiction. Bottom line, it messes with your brain. Most smokers know the health risks and want to quit, but just like CF addiction affects people in a multitude of ways. Some people are able to quit cold turkey, others need more extreme measures.

Well, ofcourse they say this. They are weak for Starting to smoke let alone quit but quitting smoking is pretty easy. Withdrawal is simply very mild. Some will struggle to quit but that is psychological (i.e. they're idiots) and not because of chemical addiction.

To be honest if they struggle with THAT I have a hard time figuring out how they get through life and I certainly know better things to direct sympathy at.

Oh well, have been around (way too) many smokers in my life, don't like them very much and it feels good to vent. :)
 

Twistofchaos

New member
For those that DO feel better when smokers get a taste of their own medicine. In Russia they have these Stop a douchebag and Lion versus activist groups. Search for "Lion versus" on youtube. In non smoking areas they ask smokers to put out their sigarettes and spray water at them. :D (sure I'm a peaceful individual and all but..)
 
Static: I'm with you on the "hating" them for smoking thing. I try not to hate anyone. My younger son smoked until just recently, of course outside and ALWAYS away from his brother but he still did. It was nothing that I condoned but I am not in control of others so we all need to learn a little tolerance. I have never smoked even one cigarette in my life but that doesn't make me any better - I just chose not to. And I love my younger son more than the world so if he makes different choices that is up to him.
 

vbs420

New member
It is smokers who cough / sound like they have CF. Not the other way around.

Prior to further pontification, consider this: for a brief time, even in my short life, smoking was (and in many places, currently is) socially acceptable.

Being from a certain class of society, I too succumbed to pressure to "fit in", and I smoked.

I was able to find a place in society because I was able to identify as a smoker.

That was the late 80's.

Even now, I still don't dare identify as CF. I am "in the closet" so to speak. And only having qualified as disabled for tax returns this spring, have adjusted my employer's SIQ from "choose not to answer" to "disability".

(SIQ = self identity questionnaire. Very common in Canada, although technically illegal. Large companies ask it in order to produce metrics on diversity.)
 
D

Dank

Guest
UGH. This plagues my existance and has since I started working in the professional community. I work in a cube environment mostly (and have for the last 5 years prior to the latest job) and although I try to surpress my coughing, its REALLY difficult for me to do so when I'm sick. It's even worse when people who genuinely care but have no clue they are being offensive to say "hey man have you got that looked at?, that cough sounds bad, are you sick??" My response is usually "yeah I'm sick" "yeah I'm always sick" or "yep gonna turn into zombie any day now" , depending on how my mood is. The way the world is, people who do not have health problems don't know how to handle people with problems, regardless of physical or mental. We're not a very accepting society and it's hard to be in it when you're not the in the majority. Don't let the negativity take control of your mind and try not to think about it. There will always be people who can't empathize with us, we just have to try to either explain to accept the fact some things are best left unspoken about. It's hard in the workplace the most because you don't want your job to be questioned because of things out of your control. Breathe easy, and keep your head up!
 
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FFXyojimboFFX

Guest
yeah having heard this myself once it does anger me, when i was younger i was a very playful kid full of energy used to run miles walk to my friends house all the time and even when i got sick i would still walk down the streets and everyone heard me coughing nobody cared i was loved for being such a good person except for one grumpy old lady who had the nerve to come out one day and say "thats what you get for smoking" now that would normally not bother me but it was less then a month after my sister who had CF passed away so i went up to the lady and said no i don't smoke i'm one of the few kids in this neighborhood that stays clean from drugs and that i have cystic fibrosis and that my sister passed away from the same thing just month earlier. i can still see her face and how red it turned and how sorry she felt instantly i guess all i'm saying is people shouldnt judge before knowing what they are talking about
 

Jennyvb17

New member
Most people ask me as a joke if I need another cigarette... (Mostly 30-40 year old guys, the first time we meet)

my my favorite is to smile and joke back... Oh no, just dying of a lung disease.
shuts them up super fast and makes them feel bad. Then I just laugh and tell them it's no big deal and that soon they won't even notice when I cough.

strangers think my friends are terrible and ask if I'm ok, while my friends ignore me :)
 
K

kenna2

Guest
I've never felt the need to explain why I'm coughing to someone I don't know. If someone is ignorant enough to ask me if I'm a smoker, I'd rather freak them out and make them think they're going to get sick...lol. Normally I've gotten people who will hear my cough and nicely say, I hope you feel better, without asking what my deal is. Yes, people who smoke piss me off too...it's like, if they want crappy lungs they can totally have mine. I will trade them any day.
 

LittleLab4CF

Super Moderator
I really wish there was a simple all purpose statement or response to being singled out because of a chronic cough. Its pretty hard to have an actual smoker's cough and not smell like tobacco. Smokers aren't some evil sub humans that have weak personalities. Nicotine is a true narcotic with true chemical addiction. For a certain population of people, the habit might as well be air. It's almost as if they have multiples of dopamine receptors and the result is predictable if the opportunity exists.

I don't often have the heavy smoker hack. My cough response is almost non existent and by the time I am coughing, I'm sick. Second hand smoke probably gave me quite a bit of my cough, all the time I was living at home. One morning I was in a traffic accident on my way to school. The 90 minutes of sitting with 3-4 men, some policemen and the other driver and such, I was fully smoked by the time I was dropped at school. When getting my absence and return slips the vice principal suddenly asked if I was a smoker in an accusing tone. At first I couldn't imagine what prompted his remark. When I realized that he smelled tobacco, I was really offended. You seem to have your own answer, within reason, being friendly and reassuring is not harming anybody. We cannot expect the world to understand CF and we can still assuage people's concerns without revealing what you have.

Since the topic of smoking was broached...... Personally I feel sorry for smokers. Especially in urban Colorado where Boulderites became anti-smoking fanatics. More on that later. I abhore tobacco smoke. I can pick off tobacco smoke three houses away. My parents were smokers when virtually the only non smokers were children. When I grew to the age where people either began to smoke or knew the facts and broke with tradition, I broke with tradition. If I was born ten years earlier the culture of smoking wasn't questioned an I might have followed my father. In the U.S., anti-smoking campaigns were being sponsored by American Lung Association and American Cancer Society. They were low profile and more focused on disseminating information contained in scientific research.

One of the two non smoking teachers in our highschool almost single handedly arranged a field trip a hundred miles away to attend a convention on smoking related disease studies. I went but didn't need 6 hours of wandering around exhibits and watching videos to learn about all we knew of smoking related disease in 1967. A healthy lung hung from the neck of a bell jar "breathing" with a hidden vacuum supply along with an emphysemic lung working side by side in another bell jar apparatus.

Parents back then were not geared to question everything and smoking was a joint illusion. My older brother and I were the dishwashers. Every other time I washed, he dried and stacked and so forth. After all the dishes were done we had the ashtrays to empty, wash and dry. Ugh! ICK! Ooh I hated cleaning those things. Whenever we went anywhere as a family, we three kids filled the backseat and the second we were in motion they lit up. A three hour trip amounted to three hours of non stop smoking.

It was a culture I can't wait to die away. Anytime a substance is so universally consumed has something to it. An old cartoon shown during a documentary about tobacco finally clued me in on what's going on with nicotine in general and the act of smoking. The cartoon was this deep voiced character standing over a crying child. He quickly pops a cigarette in the child's mouth and lights it while he declares "here, have a nice Sooothing cigarette ". Victims of panic attacks know a cigarette can be both medicine and a great excuse to get some " fresh air".

Considering Boulder for the moment, non smoking laws allow employers to extend a company non smoking policy to the homes of employees. As an anti-smoking fanatic myself I find myself weighing individual rights of both sides. As much as I'd love a world without tobacco, it's not fair for those who were born needing nicotine, or something to mitigate the nervous intensity that is more than an addiction.

With no sign of anti smoking laws and policies letting up, the chances of being mistaken for a smoker are going to decrease. Every person and situation is different. Some people can't stop themselves from telling the world they have CF while others or other times discretion or just a wish for privacy seems right.

Humor is a good tool,

LL
 

Twistofchaos

New member
As an anti-smoking fanatic myself I find myself weighing individual rights of both sides. As much as I'd love a world without tobacco, it's not fair for those who were born needing nicotine, or something to mitigate the nervous intensity that is more than an addiction.

Humor is a good tool

This part of that humor? Not sure.

Poor guys. Ofcourse they have not a million better healthier less annoying disgusting offensive ways available to deal with their nervous intensity.

I'm only just over half your age but here at my technical school in the 90's it was still okay to smoke in the lunch room hall. Would be completely blue and half my table of "friends" would smoke. That cost me significant infections and part of my lungs. Could not go to concerts etc. because the places would be engulfed in fog.
For the last ten years that's all changed and smoking in public places is largely banned. Smoking in bars is the last stronghold but they are losing. Anti smoking awareness has grown a lot and it's great.
Same awareness is now starting to happen with the hard drug alcohol but that's going to be a while.. (For the longest time I would drink about 2-3 glasses of wine once a week. That still cost me a day in my recoverytime between workouts, alcohol is that terrible. (maybe more terrible for me because of CF, admittedly.) And largely responsible for the average healthy male's physical shape of no muscletone at all etc. Pretty sad.)
My dad would smoke..he couldn't quit etc. poor guy till both me and my sister were out of the house, then he developed a little spot on his lungs himself and could quit overnight. Typical smoker mentality. See it all the time.
 

static

New member
This part of that humor? Not sure.

Poor guys. Ofcourse they have not a million better healthier less annoying disgusting offensive ways available to deal with their nervous intensity.

I'm only just over half your age but here at my technical school in the 90's it was still okay to smoke in the lunch room hall. Would be completely blue and half my table of "friends" would smoke. That cost me significant infections and part of my lungs. Could not go to concerts etc. because the places would be engulfed in fog.
For the last ten years that's all changed and smoking in public places is largely banned. Smoking in bars is the last stronghold but they are losing. Anti smoking awareness has grown a lot and it's great.
Same awareness is now starting to happen with the hard drug alcohol but that's going to be a while.. (For the longest time I would drink about 2-3 glasses of wine once a week. That still cost me a day in my recoverytime between workouts, alcohol is that terrible. (maybe more terrible for me because of CF, admittedly.) And largely responsible for the average healthy male's physical shape of no muscletone at all etc. Pretty sad.)
My dad would smoke..he couldn't quit etc. poor guy till both me and my sister were out of the house, then he developed a little spot on his lungs himself and could quit overnight. Typical smoker mentality. See it all the time.

Now we are getting somewhere.

Life experiences are interesting that way, they can drastically change your perception on a multitude of issues ranging from political views to social issues.

I'm sorry you had such a crummy experience with smokers, that must have been really dicficult.

My experience is different, largely thanks to health awareness and living in a state with the strictest smoking laws. I had the opportunity to get to know the people, without worrying about their bad habits harming me.

We lost the genetic lottery, most lungs are resilient and meant for a lifetime. When smokers see the rare stories of people living into their 80s and 90s they get comfortable, but the facts are the facts. Most will not live that long, some will not even get the opportunity to quit before a disease takes hold and then the statistics come into play.

I still stand strong in the fact that it is an addiction. Does that mean that it is impossible to overcome, no...but it does take work. It is not about sympathy or judgement, It is about education and understanding that will move this cause along.
 
C

Cale Gilley

Guest
So I read some of this any saying other people are weak because they can't quit smoking and that makes them a weak individual. Well thankfully for us with CF one of our great strengths is that we are strong because all we have been through. I have friends that smoke they know not to do it around me and they don't. I also have very close friends from high school that used to smoke and after seeing what I've gone through since then have quit because not only have I stressed it to them that its not fair they get healthy lungs and get to destroy them, but it scares them when they see me having a hard time breathing. The best way to go about smokers is avoid them if your friends with them talk to them explain your never going to get them to just quit thats their decision not yours. "Do unto others as you wish them to do unto you"
 
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