I am a 24 year old women with CF and HIV who just had a beautiful baby boy. I named him Zachary after his father Zach (who also had CF) who died 6 months ago from a heroine overdose. I am worried though, Zachary does have CF, which was expected, but the doctors also think he may have HIV. I'm worried, but I know God is watching and will take care of Zachary. I have a problem though and was wondering if anyone could give me some legal advice. Social Services in the state of California are threatening to take him away on the charge of child abuse because I knew that he would have CF and HIV if I were to get pregnant by Zach. I am a firm believer that God wanted me to have this child, and I need some advice on how I can fight the State of California. I can't afford a lawyer because I'm on welfare and disability. I need help.Thank you,Cindy
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New Baby!
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Check into legal assistance or legal aid. they are lawyers who work for you with little or no cost (depending on your income) If you cannot find info on them in your phonebook, call the county courthouse, someone there should be able to direct you to legal help. Congrats on your new baby. I hope all goes well.Andrea
<b>CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!</b> That's great news. I know a lot of people think it's "wrong" to have a kid when you know they will have CF or any other disease, especially if you know first hand how much it can suck. But I really admire your courage. I don't know much about the legal stuff, but I definitely think you can find a lawyer who will take your case as a Pro Bono job. I think a lot of people would be really interested in your case because it incorporates a lot of issues that are in the news now regarding genetic and inherited conditions and whether a pregnancy should be terminated if you know the kid will have problems. Plenty of parents find out that their children will have problems like Downs Syndrome or Spina Bifida and still continue with a pregnancy, so why is your situation any different?I guess the main difference is your own health. A court might think that having CF and being HIV+ might make you an unsuitable parent or put Zachary at risk to be orphaned. Yeah, maybe you're more at risk than the average person, but ANYONE can die at any time, and you have the benefit of knowing what you're dealing with. The other thing, and I'm sorry to ask something personal like this, but are you clean? I wouldn't ask but you said that Zach died of heroin. If you're clean things will go much better for you, I think.Well, good luck and post again when you have a new development. I wish you the best!Sincerely, Scarlett
Hi ..... I first want to say congrats on your baby boy !! Wow, cf and hiv, I truely feel for you. I hope you are doing ok. If i am not being too intrusive, can i ask how bad your cf is? I know cf by itself is a bad enough illness, but it must be hard with the hiv along with it. I am sorry to hear of the loss of your babys father. I will pray for you and your baby boy, and i hope you find a solution to your legal battle. Diane
Wow... CF and HIV... mom has CF, the father has CF... on welfare and disability AND knowing full well that there was a 100% certainty that you would pass CF ( and more than likely the HIV too) on to your baby... What kind of feedback were you getting from your doctors, clergy and family regarding having kids? It sounds like you were planning on getting pregnant by Divine Providence (God wanted you to). Good luck with California's Social Services. It'll be interesting to hear how things will turn out. I'm sorry to hear about the baby's father, and congratulations on your new baby.Lloyd Loar
Hello! I wish you soo much luck with the social services system there. We don't have anything like that in Canada, if you have ababy with these "problems" it is just dealt with medically! CONGATS on your baby boy.. I have been raising my bf's 2 and a half year old son for quite some time now (Ben is in the picture too, it is just that he works and i watch Shae) and there is no bigger joy than seeing him grow each day! Best of luck with life and health! Julie18wcf, 3sisters nocf
You must be retarded! What did you think would happen when you got pregnant? Were you under the wholly incorrect assumption that the baby would come out *PERFECT* and all would be right in your screwed-up little world? HIV is contagious and CF is genetic, NEITHER of which you have ANY control over. It's people like you who take so much from the social services budget and contribute to the general decline of society. I can't believe you are arguing with the state on this. If you really loved your child, you would 1) not have got pregnant in the first place, because it was not "God's will" that you had this child, it was your own irresponsibility an mental ineptitude; and 2) the state will take FAR better care of the kid than you could ever hope to. I guarantee you can't pay his hospital bills. So next time you have a decision to make, you should ask for advice BEFORE embarking on an adventure in stupidity, not after the fact when you want to change an inevitable outcome. DTBand i have heard some posts have been censored form this thread. if this is erased, be assured i will reply again.
Just curious as to how Zachs father could be CF as well,My understanding is that male CF's are 99% sterile, andthere hasnt been a case where a CF has fathered a childwith none medical means...Are you sure he was the father?Or did you go to extreme measures to get pregnant....Tracy
FYI....A while back there was a wife who posted. Her "elderly" husband had just been diagnosed with CF. He had a history of asmtha, pneumonia etc, but nothing severe. It wasnt until their GRANDSON was diagnosed that they even thought or knew to test him. Granted it is rare for males with CF to NOT be sterile, but it can happen. This whole situation with CF, HIV etc is a bit much for me to handle to begin with & than you add the statistics of sterility. Mind you that I am 35 with CF & have a child.
According to the CF Foundation's National Patient Registry, the median age of survival for a person with CF is 33.4 years. As more advances have been made in the treatment of CF, the number of adults with CF has steadily grown. Today, nearly 40 percent of the CF population is age 18 and older. Adults, however, may experience additional health challenges including CF-related diabetes and osteoporosis. CF also can cause reproductive problems - more than 95 percent of men with CF are sterile. But, with new technologies, some are becoming fathers. Although many women with CF are able to conceive, limited lung function and other health factors may make it difficult to carry a child to term.
FERTILITY Ninety-eight percent of men with CF are sterile, due to complete obstruction or absence of the vas deferens, the tube carrying sperm out of the testes. While boys and men with CF form normal sperm and have normal levels of sex hormones, sperm are unable to leave the testes, and fertilization is not possible. Most women with CF are fertile, though they often have more trouble getting pregnant than women without CF. In both boys and girls, puberty is often delayed, most likely due to the effects of poor nutrition or chronic lung infection. Women with good lung health usually have no problems with pregnancy, while those with ongoing lung infection often do poorly.Obviously you need to read up some more on fertility
To MJS,I'm not sure I understand why the post about the statisics was such a bad thing. I just dont get itI didnt see anything wrong with it personally. I actually think she had a good point, and that wasnt to say anything bad about the mother, sometimes it just pays to be sure. There's nothing wrong with that.I too am under the belief that male cfs can't reproduce naturally. and if there was a case of a man fathering kids it would be an isolated one. The facts speak for themselves. It's a shame but thats the way it is.Drak
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lady01shadow
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<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> Cindy:Keep smiling even though it is hard. Sorry for the loss of Zach and congrats on the birth of Zach. I don't know how else to say it. I do believe things happen for a reason and you are right God wouldn't have given you a baby boy if he thought it wrong. I don't think. No I don't think it is child abuse if you have a child with one disease or two or more. Okay so maybe you knew a good chance of CF and HIV but it doesn't mean you love your son any less. It just means you love him that much more to take on the responsability and the gift of having him. I am sure it is hard and you are scared, I am not going to lie and say I know how you feel, I could only imagine. Although I will say stay strong and try to keep your head up--you have a little boy that needs you very much right now and always will. You have a complete up hill battle yourself i'm sure with your health so you have to stay up and strong for both you and little Zach. Hmmm I think I just said something that made sense and I need to follow that advice too. Anyway keep smiling and know that GOD is with you. He doesn't give people anything they can't handle no matter who you are. Stay strong and take your meds correctly--your son needs you and always will.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
cindy...i think you should have used much better judgement before getting pregnant...it was your choice and a poor one. do the right thing for your son...not what's best for you...he didn't ask for this life, you provided it for him. Your post bothers me . I have a hard time understanding the thought process behind the whole scenerio. You're stepping aside the truth of the matter and letting your beliefs take the blame for your mistakes. It's insane!
You had a double whammy with yourself of which both would be given to your baby plus the baby's dad that died from an overdose. Even if his Dad didnt overdose, the affects of drugging before/while you got pregnant can affect the baby. You believe God meant for you to have this baby. Maybe he did. I dont know what his plans for you are just like I didnt know what his were for me when I got pregnant after 12 years of not using birth control. I also know that my husband is not a carrier of the gene so my daughter would not have CF & she will know to find out about her mate when she gets to that point in her life. HIV is in the papers all the time unlike CF which is just starting to come to light a bit more. To me it is one of the worst combinations. You immune system is not good. Not only will your baby need to be cared for with both illnesses, but you will. Who will take care of either of you when its too much to do. If I was Social Services, I would question your situation. Not just for one reason. There are many factors involved that makes me question your state of mind to care for the baby as well as the health issues & the ability to handle them. We wont even get into the financial aspect. I never on this board have felt that anyone was sooooo irresponsible regarding pregnancy.The closest I had was another CF patient from my CF clinic who was advised by our doctor not to get pregnant, but for religious practices still did. The baby was born early & lived the first part of his life in the hospital. He will be raised by his Dad who does not carry the CF gene. He will never know his Mom, but at least he has a bit of an easier life not having the illness themselves. As far as "I" am concerned, you never gave your son a chance. Good intentions or not! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-disgusted.gif" border="0">
Wow, your comments in this forum have caused a lot of discussion. Quite frankly when I first saw your posting, I thought it was a joke. No one with HIV, CF, & OD boyfriend would have a child. If you really are a real person, I am sorry for you, but I would have to agree that the state should care for your child. You certainly have not shown good judgement. I only have mild CF but I chose not to have any children. Any animal can mate & produce offspring, it is humans that can think and reason, and therefore make a choice......