Mockingbird
New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>"The whole congregation of the sons of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness. The sons of Israel said to them, 'Would that we had died by the Lord's hand in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the pots of meat, when we ate bread to the full; for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.'
"Then the Lord said to Moses, 'Behold, I will rain bread from heaven for you; and the people shall go out and gather a day's portion every day, that I may test them, whether or not they will walk in my instruction. On the sixth day, when they prepare what they bring in, it will be twice as much as they gather daily.'
"So Moses and Aaron said to all the sons of Israel, 'At evening you will know that the Lord has brought you out of the land of Egypt; and in the morning you will see the glory of the Lord, for He hears you grumblings against the Lord; and what are we, that you grumble against us?' "
Exodus 16:2-7</end quote></div>
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>"The sons of Israel wept again and said, 'Who will give us meat to eat? We remember the fish which we used to eat free in Egypt, the cucumbers and the melons and the leeks and the onions and the garlic, but now our appetite is gone. There is nothing at all to look at except this manna.' "
Numbers 11:4-6</end quote></div>
Things have been difficult for me lately. Working a 12 hour day in the kitchen wears me down as it is, but add to that a flare-up of CF, an aching back, a splitting head, and a total lack of energy and it is unbearable. To make matters worse, the air-conditioning went out and I have been working in extreme heat. Also, there have been a few extra requests of me lately, which means I have even more of a workload than usual. To top things, it all started with the death of my grandmother.
However, throughout all this I have been looking to continually please the Lord. I have my writings, I have been reading in the Bible daily, and I also go downtown when I have the energy and hand out flyers. When I do all this, shouldn't I be given a break once in a while? At the very least, I shouldn't have to be dealing with extra problems popping up as they have been, right?
Such were the thoughts going through my mind. Now, I am the first to point out that living a life for God does not mean living an easy life. Indeed, it is the center of my doctrine that through our difficulties we are blessed by discipline. Yet even through my faith I have begun to complain and become bitter toward God.
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>"Why should any living mortal, or any man, offer complaint in view of his sins?" Lamentations 3:39</end quote></div>
The Israelites asked for food, and God rained bread from heaven. How wonderful is that? What a demonstration of His love and grace! Yet after a while, the Israelites complained again; the blessing God continued to give apparently was not good enough for them. Am I any different? Of course not.
I have food whenever I have need to eat and a roof over my head every night. I am better off by a very large percentage of the world right there. I have a job, that is, a job which I prayed for in the first place, and it pays sufficiently to cover my bills and even a few extravagances I allow myself. I have good friends, a supporting family, and I live in a country where I am free to pass out flyers on the street corner and go to church without fear of death. All of this and countless more has been given to me by the grace of God.
How many years did I stand with my back to God? How long did God wait with open arms, saying "Here am I, here am I," while I replied, "Keep to yourself, do not come near me, for I am holier than you!" And when I finally turned to Him, instead of rebuking me He rejoiced and embraced me! I have been blessed much, much more than I could ever deserve, and no amount of pain or difficulty could ever come close to matching the blessing I have received.
I feel ashamed of how selfish I have been, and I can only ask the Lord for forgiveness. I do not understand why I have to go through so much hardship right now and it is not easy or enjoyable for me, but I know it is for my benefit, so I continue to ask the Lord to use my life as he has been doing, no matter what may come. Lord knows there will be times I will complain again, when I will be bitter, when I will despair even of my own life, but these moments are fleeting, just as I am fleeting, and He knows my true desire is for Him to continue with me as only He knows best.
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>"Remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and bitterness.
Surely my soul remembers
And is bowed down within me.
This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
The Lords lovingkindnesses indeed never cease.,
For his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul,
'Therefore I have hope in Him.'
The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
To the person who seeks Him.
It is good that he waits silently
For the salvation of the Lord.
It is good for a man that he should bear
The yoke in his youth.
Let him sit and be silent
Since He has laid it on him.
Let him put his mouth in the dust,
Perhaps there is hope.
Let him give his cheek to the smiter,
Let him be filled with reproach.
For the Lord will not reject forever,
For if He causes grief,
Then He will have compassion
According to His abundant lovingkindness.
For He does not afflict willingly
Or grieve the sons of men.
To crush under His feet
All the prisoners of the land,
To deprive a man of justice
In the presence of the Most High,
To defraud a man in his lawsuit
Of these things the Lord does not approve.
Who is there who speaks and it comes to pass,
Unless the Lord has commanded it?
Is it not from the mouth of the Most High
That both good and ill go forth?
Why should any living mortal, or any man,
Offer complaint in view of his sins?
Let us examine and probe our ways,
And let us return to the Lord.
We lift up our heart and hands
Toward God in heaven."
Lamentations 3:19-41</end quote></div>
"Then the Lord said to Moses, 'Behold, I will rain bread from heaven for you; and the people shall go out and gather a day's portion every day, that I may test them, whether or not they will walk in my instruction. On the sixth day, when they prepare what they bring in, it will be twice as much as they gather daily.'
"So Moses and Aaron said to all the sons of Israel, 'At evening you will know that the Lord has brought you out of the land of Egypt; and in the morning you will see the glory of the Lord, for He hears you grumblings against the Lord; and what are we, that you grumble against us?' "
Exodus 16:2-7</end quote></div>
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>"The sons of Israel wept again and said, 'Who will give us meat to eat? We remember the fish which we used to eat free in Egypt, the cucumbers and the melons and the leeks and the onions and the garlic, but now our appetite is gone. There is nothing at all to look at except this manna.' "
Numbers 11:4-6</end quote></div>
Things have been difficult for me lately. Working a 12 hour day in the kitchen wears me down as it is, but add to that a flare-up of CF, an aching back, a splitting head, and a total lack of energy and it is unbearable. To make matters worse, the air-conditioning went out and I have been working in extreme heat. Also, there have been a few extra requests of me lately, which means I have even more of a workload than usual. To top things, it all started with the death of my grandmother.
However, throughout all this I have been looking to continually please the Lord. I have my writings, I have been reading in the Bible daily, and I also go downtown when I have the energy and hand out flyers. When I do all this, shouldn't I be given a break once in a while? At the very least, I shouldn't have to be dealing with extra problems popping up as they have been, right?
Such were the thoughts going through my mind. Now, I am the first to point out that living a life for God does not mean living an easy life. Indeed, it is the center of my doctrine that through our difficulties we are blessed by discipline. Yet even through my faith I have begun to complain and become bitter toward God.
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>"Why should any living mortal, or any man, offer complaint in view of his sins?" Lamentations 3:39</end quote></div>
The Israelites asked for food, and God rained bread from heaven. How wonderful is that? What a demonstration of His love and grace! Yet after a while, the Israelites complained again; the blessing God continued to give apparently was not good enough for them. Am I any different? Of course not.
I have food whenever I have need to eat and a roof over my head every night. I am better off by a very large percentage of the world right there. I have a job, that is, a job which I prayed for in the first place, and it pays sufficiently to cover my bills and even a few extravagances I allow myself. I have good friends, a supporting family, and I live in a country where I am free to pass out flyers on the street corner and go to church without fear of death. All of this and countless more has been given to me by the grace of God.
How many years did I stand with my back to God? How long did God wait with open arms, saying "Here am I, here am I," while I replied, "Keep to yourself, do not come near me, for I am holier than you!" And when I finally turned to Him, instead of rebuking me He rejoiced and embraced me! I have been blessed much, much more than I could ever deserve, and no amount of pain or difficulty could ever come close to matching the blessing I have received.
I feel ashamed of how selfish I have been, and I can only ask the Lord for forgiveness. I do not understand why I have to go through so much hardship right now and it is not easy or enjoyable for me, but I know it is for my benefit, so I continue to ask the Lord to use my life as he has been doing, no matter what may come. Lord knows there will be times I will complain again, when I will be bitter, when I will despair even of my own life, but these moments are fleeting, just as I am fleeting, and He knows my true desire is for Him to continue with me as only He knows best.
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>"Remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and bitterness.
Surely my soul remembers
And is bowed down within me.
This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
The Lords lovingkindnesses indeed never cease.,
For his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul,
'Therefore I have hope in Him.'
The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
To the person who seeks Him.
It is good that he waits silently
For the salvation of the Lord.
It is good for a man that he should bear
The yoke in his youth.
Let him sit and be silent
Since He has laid it on him.
Let him put his mouth in the dust,
Perhaps there is hope.
Let him give his cheek to the smiter,
Let him be filled with reproach.
For the Lord will not reject forever,
For if He causes grief,
Then He will have compassion
According to His abundant lovingkindness.
For He does not afflict willingly
Or grieve the sons of men.
To crush under His feet
All the prisoners of the land,
To deprive a man of justice
In the presence of the Most High,
To defraud a man in his lawsuit
Of these things the Lord does not approve.
Who is there who speaks and it comes to pass,
Unless the Lord has commanded it?
Is it not from the mouth of the Most High
That both good and ill go forth?
Why should any living mortal, or any man,
Offer complaint in view of his sins?
Let us examine and probe our ways,
And let us return to the Lord.
We lift up our heart and hands
Toward God in heaven."
Lamentations 3:19-41</end quote></div>