So my mind is kinda blown.

Renee Vasquez

New member
So I posted in a depressed state yesterday, explaining what I always felt these unexplainable sad days really short, they mean something bad is happening to someone who is dear to me or use to be dear to me.
Then i speculated that it could have to do with an Ex because i feel sadness over my love and my child............... then i get an email this morning. . . . from my pen pal in Uganda, whom I've been talking to for 5 years now. . . and he's in the past couple days, after 3 blood tests, all testing positive. Hes found out he is HIV positive
I have nothing to say. I'm just . . . wow. . what do you say to that? So i respond, and hold back tears all of typing, and then it hit me. He found this out in the past couple days, yesterday he got the final, you defiantly have HIV news. Did I feel this happening? Did I feel my friends hurt and just hurt with him? Or is this just a correlation?<br><br>My other kinda piece of evidence to this is when i was younger and my Ex was just a friend, but a very good, talk to him everyday sort of friend. He has CF like us, and he would catch bugs, or get sick, or what not, and almost as if I felt his sickness I would get sick. We lived 10hours away from each other, so it wasn't that, it could sometimes have been him telling me what was ailing him, but other times it wasn't. Because i'd have a horrible stomach ache all day, then talk to him later in the day and he'd be telling me of stomach issues he'd been having that day. Or a cough. Or  whatever it may have been. Again this could have just been correlation.
But why choose to believe it was correlation when i can believe that i loved these people so much that I felt their pain ?
This is not a good day. Yesterday I said today would be better, and it wasn't.
But I have life, and the more you live, the more you have belief in anything, even silly things like this, like the power of a feeling. . . the more i am Thankful that I have it, the more i treasure it for as long as i can have it.
Today is not a good day, but i still will hold on to tomorrow being a better day.