Today just has a bad feel about it. Nothing is specifically wrong, but it just has a gloom to it. On these days I think that someone I once knew well, in another life (by that I mean this same life, but in a different time period of it. . . not reincarnated sort of another life) is suffering, or something unpleasant is happen in their life. I would never know if this feeling is what it is, but it is what I imagine it to be. <br><br>Today I feel like that. Something bad is happening to someone I once loved or at least cared very much for. <br><br>So I just can't seem to be happy. I'm older and wiser than I once was so I know to cry about nothing isn't necessary because tomorrow, today will just be an off day and nothing will have come from crying. I'll know that whatever today was has passed and I've moved on from whatever it was that was making a dark cloud over my yesterday. But today. . . in the moment of that dark cloud. There is just gloom. <br><br>I love a man with all my heart. He gives me the best feels I have ever experienced in my whole life. Well at least equal to the feels our son gives me. And today this doesn't feel like something that I am proud of, today this feels like there is a cloud over that. which leads me to believe i know that horrible feeling of something happening to someone may indeed be an Ex. What else gives you guilt for your happiness but the fear that you crushed someone else's happiness in order to achieve yours. Its the way it has to work, i know. Very rarely does it seem that two people just at the same time decide its not right for either party and walk away. <br><br>My mind is likely making all this up and nothing is wrong at all with anyone else that I've ever known. . . . that may be the case.<br>Who knows. All I know is my heart is heavy and there is that horrible cloud, that will be gone tomorrow. . . but today. . . just lots of unwanted feels.