Unbelievable 504 mtg at school

Mom2girls

New member
While it is true my 9 yr has no diagnosis and has had a good year with her health, she follows similar treatments as kids with CF. She also sees psychology frequently for anxiety and depression. She is absent from school for many appts....pulm, ent, GI, genetics, special needs, ortho (new referral for possible scoliosis), psych. She is still doing well academically. At her 504 mtg today, I was given a hard time about her absences for appts. I think they don't believe me that she has them and that they're long. They say she looks good and never complains about not feeling well at school (stomachaches after meals at home). The school counselor said that in her experience with her own health issues, she got fed up with appts that didn't tell her anything and it's up to us but maybe we should stop going to so many appts so she can get to school. The things they said made me think they see me as a bad parent. "Learned helplessness" is her problem rather than anxiety is what teacher thinks. Yes, Some learned helplessness but she has a diagnosed anxiety disorder.
I am so frustrated and regret not speaking up at the meeting but I always need some time to process things like that before speaking. I just can't believe it and we're in a really good school district.
Thanks for letting me vent.
 
You should chnge teacher or even school - she will never understand unless you take her too a hospital with you - I mean the teacher - but then she will be overprotective to your child. This teacher is dicrimanting your child and she will never be able to go in the middle and listen to you or your advice. I've been there - we changed schools - the quicker the better.
 

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
We've had a few meetings with "well meaning" counselors or school psychologists. Apparently some have the idea that if there is a physical illness, psychological ramifications go hand in hand. One meeting last year with a busybody began with "these kids..." and ended the sentence with "Asperger-type symptoms". They suggested psychological testing and pulling him out of class each day for special group sessions with other children who had emotional issues and developmental delays.

And then my husband stepped in pretty much said, do you REALIZE what he has to go through every day --- hours of treatments each day starting early in the morning, starting up right after school and again before bed. 70 pills a day!!! That these kids don't really have a chance to be children with all the hard work they do. He further reiterated that DS was pretty much middle aged due to life expectancy of people wcf. Okay he laid it on a bit thick, but the busy bodies were quoting text book theories regarding diseases and mental illness. He finished by saying "if he's doing something he shouldn't be doing... tell him to stop" Apparently the teacher (just out of college) who complained to said psychologist had an apple shaped bell on her desk and every morning our dear, sweet, really annoying child who thought he was being funny, would ring that stupid bell every frickin morning. So after the meeting we spoke with ds and told him to knock it off. Explained humor -- once is funny, but ceases to be funny when repeated over and over again.

During the meeting we also explained that should we feel there were emotional problems, we would seek out care from an independent EXPERIENCED professional. Because the LAST thing we want is for ds to get labeled throughout the school system as being difficult or being the "sick kid". For ds up to this point, cf is all part of life. Other than taking enzymes during the day and a 504 plan that is pretty much a what if list --- access to bathrooms, water & salt; enforcing the sick policy, absences.... He is a normal child first and foremost, we have expectations that he do his classwork, he participate in everything with no excuses.

IMO, write a letter and copy it to all parties involved --- principal, school counselor, teacher(s) and psychologist that your child has an illness which requires specialty care in which appointments are have to be scheduled months in advanced according to the specialists timetable, appointments are time consuming, sometimes involve travel and involved such things as 3 hour glucose tests, lung scan/xrays, pfts -- reiterate this by quoting portions of the 504... reiterate too that you all need to work together to help your child get a good education and school experience and by labeling her, quote what the psychologist said to you, is serving no purpose whatsoever.
 

Mom2girls

New member
Thanks for your suggestion. I have started a letter and I also know that my daughter's psychologist and special needs nurse are happy to be at the next meeting.....and they will call or have a meeting before then.
 
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