A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first graders, using a bowl of lifesavers.
He gave all the children the same kind of lifesavers, one at a time, and asked them to identify them by color and flavor.
The children began:
"Red............cherry,"
"Yellow........lemon,"
"Green..........lime,"
"Orange.......orange."
Finally the professor gave them all a HONEY-flavored lifesaver.
After eating them for a few moments none of the children could identify the taste.
"Well," he said "I'll give you all a clue. It's what your mother may
sometimes call your father."
One little girl looked up in horror, spit hers out and yelled,
"Oh My God!!!! They're assholes!"
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A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.
The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a "Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a" so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills.
When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final "Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!" and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service-station attendant.
"Nothing," the woman answered. "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles."
He gave all the children the same kind of lifesavers, one at a time, and asked them to identify them by color and flavor.
The children began:
"Red............cherry,"
"Yellow........lemon,"
"Green..........lime,"
"Orange.......orange."
Finally the professor gave them all a HONEY-flavored lifesaver.
After eating them for a few moments none of the children could identify the taste.
"Well," he said "I'll give you all a clue. It's what your mother may
sometimes call your father."
One little girl looked up in horror, spit hers out and yelled,
"Oh My God!!!! They're assholes!"
********************************************************************
A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.
The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a "Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a" so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills.
When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final "Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!" and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service-station attendant.
"Nothing," the woman answered. "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles."