a massive fear of mine..

[billiewoolley]

Is being with someone, and them leaving me if things get "too tough" for them..

Being alone and no significant other really scares me - as I want children when I'm older and maybe even a marriage. I'm with someone now, and i've been with him a few months, and I feel he's so right for me - & from what I feel back, he's really into me too. I was open with him the first time we met, and told him I had CF (well I didn't at first, but I have a 'sixty five roses' tattoo on my wrist and he saw and asked what it meant lol ) But i'm absolutely terrified that if im suddenly hospitalized, or I'm on a transplant list, he wont be able too cope and'll leave. Anyone else worry this'll happen too them? If so, has it happened too anyone because a partner couldn't cope with them having CF?

Would help so muchhh.

 

[Twistofchaos]

Such fears, and very much wanting to be normal (marriage, 2.3 kids, carreer, many friends, the whole thing) comes with the age you are in.
Ok some people never grow out of that but.. for others it just gets a little easier being different when they get older. Mainly because you get to know the world a little better and the role models you might have now usually turn out not to be so admirable at all. (massive cynicism, it's awesome)

Some people, no maybe most are not cut out to deal with something like CF. But some are and they're out there. And they're very special.
That's all you can say about it really.
You probably won't be spared from disappointments but you have to be hopeful and keep going for it at the same time.

(PS. But I've had my share of disappointments so I'm taking a "break" for a while now though heh.. But one day I'll find someone again that yanks my heart right out, and shits in it. No! I mean steals it.)

 

[baco623]

I completely understand how you feel. It is hard to know how to handle the whole relationship thing when you have a serious illness like CF. There are so many ups and down to this disease and it can be so unpredictable. I think one of the most important things you have to keep in mind is you have to be honest. Don't exaggerate or make things sound worse then they are just give the basic facts and let them know its a part of your life. If the person can't deal with it then that is there problem. Take things one day at a time and don't be afraid to talk to your significant other about it. The guy I am with right now (we've been together for almost 2 years) was very very apprehensive about getting into a relationship with me and he was very honest with me and I appreciated that. But we took our time and he learned about the disease and is now one of my biggest supports and advocates. I think its just important to be honest, and if you do get rejected or have to deal with the other persons feels and insecurities try your hardest not to take it personally. You didn't do anything wrong, there is nothing you can do about someone elses feelings. If you want to talk more about it feel free to private message me. Sending lots of love!!

 

[beautifulsoul]

Some people, no maybe most are not cut out to deal with something like CF. But some are and they're out there. And they're very special.
That's all you can say about it really.

True, I agree!

If someone truly loves you no matter what the circumstances are then, they would not leave simply because it's "too tough" for whatever reason. Of course there is lots of extra baggage that comes with CF but that won't be enough to push away your significant other. You just need to be with the right person. (L) ....No need to be scared. TRUST and communication is the key.

 

[John O]

This is for anyone who reads this.............

WE all have to accept one another for who they are before we can have a "loving" relationship with them. If that person cannot accept you for you then they are not meant to be with you. There are actually a lot of awesome people in this life that would love to be with someone who even has CF. WE are very dedicated individuals, we love the life we were given, we take nothing for granted, and live life to the fullest. Well I guess I am talking for my self maybe. But I have found a wife who loves me no matter what and is the biggest cheerleader in my life. We know have a 6 month daughter and have overcome some very big hurddles in our life. Our daughter is a miracle from our IVF journey. I just want to say when you think you cannot have your dreams come true never think once that will never come true. Try to do everything in your life that you have always dreamed about because dreams do come true. Keep your head up! I have a blog and would love to share it with anyone who wants to read it. In fact if anyone wants to talk please message me. Here is my blog http://livingmydreamswithcf.blogspot.com/

John

 

[NathanL]

Been married to my wife for nearly nine years. She is waiting for her second transplant. We have spent over a year living in the hospital. I have never once thought about running away, and she has never doubted that. And, I know I'm not the only person out there who is committed to their CF spouse. I hope this encourages you.

Nate

 

[Kaethe108]

In your other thread you are writing that you don't do your meds and treatments because you just want to be normal.
Here you write that you are scared that a partner could not cope with the massive health problems that come with CF.

So I think the one thing that YOU can do to get close to lead a "normal" life is taking care of your health as well as you can!
if you dont do your treatments for yourself, do it for your relationship. Give your partner the chance to be with you asclong as long as possible and in the best shape possible!

 

[beautifulsoul]

Good point Kaethe108! I read the other post as well.

Does your partner know exactly what you need to be doing from a medical standpoint? If they do know that you're not helping yourself then they should be concerned and worried for you. Maybe even frustrated. I'm sure he/she wants you to be as healthy as you can so you can spend as much time as you can together. If he/she cares enough about you then these thoughts have to be crossing their mind at some point.

 

[Emer76]

There are special people out there that can handle cf. So don't think someone will just give up on you. I've been married to a wonderful man for eighteen years. I' ve been through collapsed lung , blood clot, tons of hospitalizations and my husband has always been by my side . He has never failed to be there for me .Don't give up hope.