One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he
didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him
why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the
gift I bought you
last year!"
And that's when the
fight started.....
My wife walked into the den & asked "Whats on the tv?"
I replied "Dust".
And that's when the
fight started.....
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy
with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel
horrible; I look
old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
compliment.'
The husband replies,
'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And that's when the
fight started.....
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary. She
said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200
in about 3 seconds. ' I bought her a scale.
And that's when the
fight started.....
asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart
to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't
been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested, 'How
about the kitchen?'
And that's when the
fight started....
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for
$14.95.
Instead, she bought
a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer
would make her look
better at night than the cold cream.
And that's when the
fight started.....
took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first. 'I'll have the strip
steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you
worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order
for herself.'
And that's when the
fight started.....
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch,
grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out
into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage,
turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all
day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back
into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different
anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid
husband is out fishing in that?'
And that's when the fight started....
as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he
didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him
why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the
gift I bought you
last year!"
And that's when the
fight started.....
My wife walked into the den & asked "Whats on the tv?"
I replied "Dust".
And that's when the
fight started.....
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy
with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel
horrible; I look
old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
compliment.'
The husband replies,
'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And that's when the
fight started.....
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary. She
said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200
in about 3 seconds. ' I bought her a scale.
And that's when the
fight started.....
asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart
to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't
been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested, 'How
about the kitchen?'
And that's when the
fight started....
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for
$14.95.
Instead, she bought
a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer
would make her look
better at night than the cold cream.
And that's when the
fight started.....
took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first. 'I'll have the strip
steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you
worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order
for herself.'
And that's when the
fight started.....
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch,
grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out
into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage,
turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all
day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back
into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different
anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid
husband is out fishing in that?'
And that's when the fight started....