Angry... need to vent...

mom2caseyafrica

New member
So we have been in the hospital with casey for the last few days with no real idea of what is going on or when we are going to be able to take her home, and somehow thats not the worst of it these days. Somehow my aunt(whom we currently live with) finds a way to make life worse, to make it seem like she is working so hard, and everything is so hard on her.
My husband and I have no money. I make 560 a month and she asks for 380 for rent plus money from my food stamps. This month i was only able to give her 200 dollars cash. I put at least 300 dollars worth of food into her house and barely had enough left to last the three of us the rest of the month. Yesterday she wanted to take my food stamps card and buy usfood to keep here in the hospital to eat. When she left she called and asked if it was ok to us some of the food stamps to go towards rent and the money she has given us the last 2 days to eat. i asked her to at least leave 75 dollars on the card. That gave her a little over 100 dollars to spend for everything we all needed. She left me 51 dollars on the card, and bought us crap to keep here at the hospital. And to top it all off she went behind my back and asked my dad for 2 or 3 hundred dollars to cover the 180 that i was behind on rent! and still made me feel like I owe her more!!! Plus at the end of this month my husband is supposed to be leaving her house. She says he causes her too much sress, Understandable. He has add, he is stressful. but sh ehas add and depression. She is even more stressful. She yells at everybody. All the time. She is cruel when she wants to be. She says things like my husband isnt worth a bag of potatoes and i should leave him. She makes her girls dig through filthy garbage for a coupon. I cant stand living with her anymore. She even makes this hospital stay all about her. Yes she was helpful in telling me how to get the doctors to really pay attention. But she hasnt done anything but drive to and from the hospital twice and take care of her own family by herself. I do that on a regular basis.
My sister asked me yesterday how i survive on very little sleep. I told her I dont get much sleep(even at home) and I always have headaches. Life is just a little too frustrating these days. I know everyone is having a hard time these days with the economy the ways it is, but isnt it enough that my daughter has cystic fibrosis and is in the hospital with god knows what? do i really have to deal with the crappy economy on my own? Isnt there anyone out there that will stick to their word when they say "is there anything i can do to help??" because there are alot of ways we can be helped right now. My aunt sat there and watched me say i have towork this week to pay my bills. and didnt say anything. My own parents didnt offer any solution besides calling my car insurance company and letting them know that i would be late on my payment.If i work this week i will get 140 dollars. over half of that will go to gas. it wouldnt be worth it. but how else am i supposed to pay my insurance? Shouldnt i be focusing on the baby in the hospital bed next to me? How am i supposed to do that when all of this other crap is going on?
Sorry for the extremely long vent.
 

mom2caseyafrica

New member
So we have been in the hospital with casey for the last few days with no real idea of what is going on or when we are going to be able to take her home, and somehow thats not the worst of it these days. Somehow my aunt(whom we currently live with) finds a way to make life worse, to make it seem like she is working so hard, and everything is so hard on her.
My husband and I have no money. I make 560 a month and she asks for 380 for rent plus money from my food stamps. This month i was only able to give her 200 dollars cash. I put at least 300 dollars worth of food into her house and barely had enough left to last the three of us the rest of the month. Yesterday she wanted to take my food stamps card and buy usfood to keep here in the hospital to eat. When she left she called and asked if it was ok to us some of the food stamps to go towards rent and the money she has given us the last 2 days to eat. i asked her to at least leave 75 dollars on the card. That gave her a little over 100 dollars to spend for everything we all needed. She left me 51 dollars on the card, and bought us crap to keep here at the hospital. And to top it all off she went behind my back and asked my dad for 2 or 3 hundred dollars to cover the 180 that i was behind on rent! and still made me feel like I owe her more!!! Plus at the end of this month my husband is supposed to be leaving her house. She says he causes her too much sress, Understandable. He has add, he is stressful. but sh ehas add and depression. She is even more stressful. She yells at everybody. All the time. She is cruel when she wants to be. She says things like my husband isnt worth a bag of potatoes and i should leave him. She makes her girls dig through filthy garbage for a coupon. I cant stand living with her anymore. She even makes this hospital stay all about her. Yes she was helpful in telling me how to get the doctors to really pay attention. But she hasnt done anything but drive to and from the hospital twice and take care of her own family by herself. I do that on a regular basis.
My sister asked me yesterday how i survive on very little sleep. I told her I dont get much sleep(even at home) and I always have headaches. Life is just a little too frustrating these days. I know everyone is having a hard time these days with the economy the ways it is, but isnt it enough that my daughter has cystic fibrosis and is in the hospital with god knows what? do i really have to deal with the crappy economy on my own? Isnt there anyone out there that will stick to their word when they say "is there anything i can do to help??" because there are alot of ways we can be helped right now. My aunt sat there and watched me say i have towork this week to pay my bills. and didnt say anything. My own parents didnt offer any solution besides calling my car insurance company and letting them know that i would be late on my payment.If i work this week i will get 140 dollars. over half of that will go to gas. it wouldnt be worth it. but how else am i supposed to pay my insurance? Shouldnt i be focusing on the baby in the hospital bed next to me? How am i supposed to do that when all of this other crap is going on?
Sorry for the extremely long vent.
 

mom2caseyafrica

New member
So we have been in the hospital with casey for the last few days with no real idea of what is going on or when we are going to be able to take her home, and somehow thats not the worst of it these days. Somehow my aunt(whom we currently live with) finds a way to make life worse, to make it seem like she is working so hard, and everything is so hard on her.
<br />My husband and I have no money. I make 560 a month and she asks for 380 for rent plus money from my food stamps. This month i was only able to give her 200 dollars cash. I put at least 300 dollars worth of food into her house and barely had enough left to last the three of us the rest of the month. Yesterday she wanted to take my food stamps card and buy usfood to keep here in the hospital to eat. When she left she called and asked if it was ok to us some of the food stamps to go towards rent and the money she has given us the last 2 days to eat. i asked her to at least leave 75 dollars on the card. That gave her a little over 100 dollars to spend for everything we all needed. She left me 51 dollars on the card, and bought us crap to keep here at the hospital. And to top it all off she went behind my back and asked my dad for 2 or 3 hundred dollars to cover the 180 that i was behind on rent! and still made me feel like I owe her more!!! Plus at the end of this month my husband is supposed to be leaving her house. She says he causes her too much sress, Understandable. He has add, he is stressful. but sh ehas add and depression. She is even more stressful. She yells at everybody. All the time. She is cruel when she wants to be. She says things like my husband isnt worth a bag of potatoes and i should leave him. She makes her girls dig through filthy garbage for a coupon. I cant stand living with her anymore. She even makes this hospital stay all about her. Yes she was helpful in telling me how to get the doctors to really pay attention. But she hasnt done anything but drive to and from the hospital twice and take care of her own family by herself. I do that on a regular basis.
<br />My sister asked me yesterday how i survive on very little sleep. I told her I dont get much sleep(even at home) and I always have headaches. Life is just a little too frustrating these days. I know everyone is having a hard time these days with the economy the ways it is, but isnt it enough that my daughter has cystic fibrosis and is in the hospital with god knows what? do i really have to deal with the crappy economy on my own? Isnt there anyone out there that will stick to their word when they say "is there anything i can do to help??" because there are alot of ways we can be helped right now. My aunt sat there and watched me say i have towork this week to pay my bills. and didnt say anything. My own parents didnt offer any solution besides calling my car insurance company and letting them know that i would be late on my payment.If i work this week i will get 140 dollars. over half of that will go to gas. it wouldnt be worth it. but how else am i supposed to pay my insurance? Shouldnt i be focusing on the baby in the hospital bed next to me? How am i supposed to do that when all of this other crap is going on?
<br />Sorry for the extremely long vent.
 

JustDucky

New member
Wow....I am wondering if there is any way you can find a place and move out of there. Social services has programs that do that, help with rent or even pay it.You are definitely low income, you should be able to get help. Perhaps you should look into that or ask your child's social worker at the clinic for some help, they may have resources that are particular to your location. If she is asking your husband to leave, that isn't good...she want's to separate you guys during a very stressful time? That's not helping...honestly, if someone did that, I would be out of there ASAP. Sounds like she is taking advantage of your situation.
I hope things get better for you and that the docs figure out what is going on with Casey. Prayers for all of you,
Jenn
 

JustDucky

New member
Wow....I am wondering if there is any way you can find a place and move out of there. Social services has programs that do that, help with rent or even pay it.You are definitely low income, you should be able to get help. Perhaps you should look into that or ask your child's social worker at the clinic for some help, they may have resources that are particular to your location. If she is asking your husband to leave, that isn't good...she want's to separate you guys during a very stressful time? That's not helping...honestly, if someone did that, I would be out of there ASAP. Sounds like she is taking advantage of your situation.
I hope things get better for you and that the docs figure out what is going on with Casey. Prayers for all of you,
Jenn
 

JustDucky

New member
Wow....I am wondering if there is any way you can find a place and move out of there. Social services has programs that do that, help with rent or even pay it.You are definitely low income, you should be able to get help. Perhaps you should look into that or ask your child's social worker at the clinic for some help, they may have resources that are particular to your location. If she is asking your husband to leave, that isn't good...she want's to separate you guys during a very stressful time? That's not helping...honestly, if someone did that, I would be out of there ASAP. Sounds like she is taking advantage of your situation.
<br />I hope things get better for you and that the docs figure out what is going on with Casey. Prayers for all of you,
<br />Jenn
 
M

Mommafirst

Guest
I'm sorry things are so crappy now. I'd be angry too. You definitely should talk to your CF social worker to see if there are any programs that can help you and your family.
 
M

Mommafirst

Guest
I'm sorry things are so crappy now. I'd be angry too. You definitely should talk to your CF social worker to see if there are any programs that can help you and your family.
 
M

Mommafirst

Guest
I'm sorry things are so crappy now. I'd be angry too. You definitely should talk to your CF social worker to see if there are any programs that can help you and your family.
 

mom2caseyafrica

New member
We are working on getting into a housing program, but all programs take time. Also, while we are in the hospital, since i feel staying with my daughter in the hospital outweighs the benefit of working for 140 dollars this week(which most would go toward gas to drive back and forth) I wont be able to pay my car insurance at the end of the month. I am also looking into getting some kind of assistance with that. The church we go to is finally offering some assistance other than prayer. They are working on getting us some meals brough over to the hospital. We are working on those things, and i know it takes time, but sometimes i just feel like there are so many things wrong that nothing is ever going to be right. And thats where i get stuck feeling like everything is my fault, and there is nothing i can do to change things.
 

mom2caseyafrica

New member
We are working on getting into a housing program, but all programs take time. Also, while we are in the hospital, since i feel staying with my daughter in the hospital outweighs the benefit of working for 140 dollars this week(which most would go toward gas to drive back and forth) I wont be able to pay my car insurance at the end of the month. I am also looking into getting some kind of assistance with that. The church we go to is finally offering some assistance other than prayer. They are working on getting us some meals brough over to the hospital. We are working on those things, and i know it takes time, but sometimes i just feel like there are so many things wrong that nothing is ever going to be right. And thats where i get stuck feeling like everything is my fault, and there is nothing i can do to change things.
 

mom2caseyafrica

New member
We are working on getting into a housing program, but all programs take time. Also, while we are in the hospital, since i feel staying with my daughter in the hospital outweighs the benefit of working for 140 dollars this week(which most would go toward gas to drive back and forth) I wont be able to pay my car insurance at the end of the month. I am also looking into getting some kind of assistance with that. The church we go to is finally offering some assistance other than prayer. They are working on getting us some meals brough over to the hospital. We are working on those things, and i know it takes time, but sometimes i just feel like there are so many things wrong that nothing is ever going to be right. And thats where i get stuck feeling like everything is my fault, and there is nothing i can do to change things.
 

Liza

New member
Talk to the social worker in your clinic. Many of them have meal vouchers for the family (mom or dad)for 1 meal a day while at the hospital with their admitted child. It's not much but it's one thing less that you'd have to pay for and you would have control over what you eat and not your aunt.

You say you are living with your aunt and your parents don't offer much help. Have you actually come out and asked them if you can move back home?

I know it's a struggle. Sometimes, unfortunantely you have to do the bill pay juggle robbing peter to pay paul. At it's worst you feel like nothing is ever going to change. At some point in time we all feel that way. You have a child that is your main priority right now and by what you say, you know what is most important. It sounds as if you have family that somewhat cares. A sister that you at least talk to as well as parents. If they don't offer, you need to tell them, "I need help." If you don't have a place to live you need to come out and ask them. Have a plan. Talk with the social worker about what programs are out there for you and your daughter. Some states actually pay the parent to stay home a take care of their sick children. This was news to me just a year ago. I'd never heard of it. For some it may be county specific. Meaning you have to live in that county. You may be able to get SSI benefits for your daughter as well.

Yes, this all takes time and you are in the here and now at the moment. This is where having a plan comes in. Once you have all the info on what programs are available and have applied, ask your parents or your sister if you can move in with them until it kicks in. Tell them what you can pay and how much. In my opinion rent should not be one of them, I would never ever charge my sister, her husband and their three children rent. But definantly offer what you can afford and still be able to pay the important bills like car payment and insurance. Definantly pay a portion of utilities. Keep food seperate if you need to, just like if you were living with room mates.

In the meantime, I hope your daughter feels better soon. Talk to the social worker.
 

Liza

New member
Talk to the social worker in your clinic. Many of them have meal vouchers for the family (mom or dad)for 1 meal a day while at the hospital with their admitted child. It's not much but it's one thing less that you'd have to pay for and you would have control over what you eat and not your aunt.

You say you are living with your aunt and your parents don't offer much help. Have you actually come out and asked them if you can move back home?

I know it's a struggle. Sometimes, unfortunantely you have to do the bill pay juggle robbing peter to pay paul. At it's worst you feel like nothing is ever going to change. At some point in time we all feel that way. You have a child that is your main priority right now and by what you say, you know what is most important. It sounds as if you have family that somewhat cares. A sister that you at least talk to as well as parents. If they don't offer, you need to tell them, "I need help." If you don't have a place to live you need to come out and ask them. Have a plan. Talk with the social worker about what programs are out there for you and your daughter. Some states actually pay the parent to stay home a take care of their sick children. This was news to me just a year ago. I'd never heard of it. For some it may be county specific. Meaning you have to live in that county. You may be able to get SSI benefits for your daughter as well.

Yes, this all takes time and you are in the here and now at the moment. This is where having a plan comes in. Once you have all the info on what programs are available and have applied, ask your parents or your sister if you can move in with them until it kicks in. Tell them what you can pay and how much. In my opinion rent should not be one of them, I would never ever charge my sister, her husband and their three children rent. But definantly offer what you can afford and still be able to pay the important bills like car payment and insurance. Definantly pay a portion of utilities. Keep food seperate if you need to, just like if you were living with room mates.

In the meantime, I hope your daughter feels better soon. Talk to the social worker.
 

Liza

New member
Talk to the social worker in your clinic. Many of them have meal vouchers for the family (mom or dad)for 1 meal a day while at the hospital with their admitted child. It's not much but it's one thing less that you'd have to pay for and you would have control over what you eat and not your aunt.
<br />
<br />You say you are living with your aunt and your parents don't offer much help. Have you actually come out and asked them if you can move back home?
<br />
<br />I know it's a struggle. Sometimes, unfortunantely you have to do the bill pay juggle robbing peter to pay paul. At it's worst you feel like nothing is ever going to change. At some point in time we all feel that way. You have a child that is your main priority right now and by what you say, you know what is most important. It sounds as if you have family that somewhat cares. A sister that you at least talk to as well as parents. If they don't offer, you need to tell them, "I need help." If you don't have a place to live you need to come out and ask them. Have a plan. Talk with the social worker about what programs are out there for you and your daughter. Some states actually pay the parent to stay home a take care of their sick children. This was news to me just a year ago. I'd never heard of it. For some it may be county specific. Meaning you have to live in that county. You may be able to get SSI benefits for your daughter as well.
<br />
<br />Yes, this all takes time and you are in the here and now at the moment. This is where having a plan comes in. Once you have all the info on what programs are available and have applied, ask your parents or your sister if you can move in with them until it kicks in. Tell them what you can pay and how much. In my opinion rent should not be one of them, I would never ever charge my sister, her husband and their three children rent. But definantly offer what you can afford and still be able to pay the important bills like car payment and insurance. Definantly pay a portion of utilities. Keep food seperate if you need to, just like if you were living with room mates.
<br />
<br />In the meantime, I hope your daughter feels better soon. Talk to the social worker.
<br />
 
L

Lety

Guest
Oh my God! Is so sad to hear you are going through all this. Life is hard enough with our kids having CF. Shouldn't social workers guide you to find financial help among other things. What is the point of them being there and getting paid. Hope things get better.
 
L

Lety

Guest
Oh my God! Is so sad to hear you are going through all this. Life is hard enough with our kids having CF. Shouldn't social workers guide you to find financial help among other things. What is the point of them being there and getting paid. Hope things get better.
 
L

Lety

Guest
Oh my God! Is so sad to hear you are going through all this. Life is hard enough with our kids having CF. Shouldn't social workers guide you to find financial help among other things. What is the point of them being there and getting paid. Hope things get better.
 

jbrandonAW

New member
Has your husband thought about the military? You get housing and 100% insurance coverage. Yea they might delploy but its not too often.

I am sorry things are rough, she should be more understanding. If so I would look into social services. You can apply for SSI/SSDI, housing and other stuff.
 

jbrandonAW

New member
Has your husband thought about the military? You get housing and 100% insurance coverage. Yea they might delploy but its not too often.

I am sorry things are rough, she should be more understanding. If so I would look into social services. You can apply for SSI/SSDI, housing and other stuff.
 
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