Another fragrance issue...uughhh

lexisangels05 · Aug 5, 2009

Hi, everyone...yes it is me again. I have MANY threads on this issue and my family members. I need some major wisdom and someone to help me stand up for my daughter.

Lexi as you all know is 5 and is VERY sensitive to fragrances. She shows no immediate signs, but the next day is very congested after being exposed. I have had to change EVERYTHING...shampoo, soap, washing powder, cleaning products, my skin and hair care products...ect. I always thought she was sentive, but never knew how serious it was for CFers until reading some of your posts. We wondered why she was so much more congested after I started back using perfume,changed our washing powder, and started using home plug in air fresheners.

Since my major change she is so much better, but the damage is done. Her cough is not going completely away, her inflammation that worsened over this time caused more growth in her cultures, and all of this landed her in the hospital in June. She did 5 weeks of IV antibiotics that did not completely clear up her congestion.

I swore to stick to my guns after her hospitalization and not allow anyone around her if they could not follow our "no fragrance" rule.

Well my sister-in-law has never followed by the rules. She ALWAYS smells like something, but swears she uses all of the unscented products I have asked her to use. She says, I just don't like her and am making a bigger situation out of this than it should be. I am sorry but I work with the public and if you can smell someone from 3 feet away...it is not thier "natural God given smell".

Ok after that long post. Please everyone just give me the courage to stand up for Lexi and the longer, healthier life these changes will give her. I hate to alienate her from family members, but you would think they would be the first to bend over backwards to do whatever it takes...right...

lexisangels05 · Aug 5, 2009

Hi, everyone...yes it is me again. I have MANY threads on this issue and my family members. I need some major wisdom and someone to help me stand up for my daughter.

Lexi as you all know is 5 and is VERY sensitive to fragrances. She shows no immediate signs, but the next day is very congested after being exposed. I have had to change EVERYTHING...shampoo, soap, washing powder, cleaning products, my skin and hair care products...ect. I always thought she was sentive, but never knew how serious it was for CFers until reading some of your posts. We wondered why she was so much more congested after I started back using perfume,changed our washing powder, and started using home plug in air fresheners.

Since my major change she is so much better, but the damage is done. Her cough is not going completely away, her inflammation that worsened over this time caused more growth in her cultures, and all of this landed her in the hospital in June. She did 5 weeks of IV antibiotics that did not completely clear up her congestion.

I swore to stick to my guns after her hospitalization and not allow anyone around her if they could not follow our "no fragrance" rule.

Well my sister-in-law has never followed by the rules. She ALWAYS smells like something, but swears she uses all of the unscented products I have asked her to use. She says, I just don't like her and am making a bigger situation out of this than it should be. I am sorry but I work with the public and if you can smell someone from 3 feet away...it is not thier "natural God given smell".

Ok after that long post. Please everyone just give me the courage to stand up for Lexi and the longer, healthier life these changes will give her. I hate to alienate her from family members, but you would think they would be the first to bend over backwards to do whatever it takes...right...

lexisangels05 · Aug 5, 2009

Hi, everyone...yes it is me again. I have MANY threads on this issue and my family members. I need some major wisdom and someone to help me stand up for my daughter.

Lexi as you all know is 5 and is VERY sensitive to fragrances. She shows no immediate signs, but the next day is very congested after being exposed. I have had to change EVERYTHING...shampoo, soap, washing powder, cleaning products, my skin and hair care products...ect. I always thought she was sentive, but never knew how serious it was for CFers until reading some of your posts. We wondered why she was so much more congested after I started back using perfume,changed our washing powder, and started using home plug in air fresheners.

Since my major change she is so much better, but the damage is done. Her cough is not going completely away, her inflammation that worsened over this time caused more growth in her cultures, and all of this landed her in the hospital in June. She did 5 weeks of IV antibiotics that did not completely clear up her congestion.

I swore to stick to my guns after her hospitalization and not allow anyone around her if they could not follow our "no fragrance" rule.

Well my sister-in-law has never followed by the rules. She ALWAYS smells like something, but swears she uses all of the unscented products I have asked her to use. She says, I just don't like her and am making a bigger situation out of this than it should be. I am sorry but I work with the public and if you can smell someone from 3 feet away...it is not thier "natural God given smell".

Ok after that long post. Please everyone just give me the courage to stand up for Lexi and the longer, healthier life these changes will give her. I hate to alienate her from family members, but you would think they would be the first to bend over backwards to do whatever it takes...right...

lexisangels05 · Aug 5, 2009

Hi, everyone...yes it is me again. I have MANY threads on this issue and my family members. I need some major wisdom and someone to help me stand up for my daughter.

Lexi as you all know is 5 and is VERY sensitive to fragrances. She shows no immediate signs, but the next day is very congested after being exposed. I have had to change EVERYTHING...shampoo, soap, washing powder, cleaning products, my skin and hair care products...ect. I always thought she was sentive, but never knew how serious it was for CFers until reading some of your posts. We wondered why she was so much more congested after I started back using perfume,changed our washing powder, and started using home plug in air fresheners.

Since my major change she is so much better, but the damage is done. Her cough is not going completely away, her inflammation that worsened over this time caused more growth in her cultures, and all of this landed her in the hospital in June. She did 5 weeks of IV antibiotics that did not completely clear up her congestion.

I swore to stick to my guns after her hospitalization and not allow anyone around her if they could not follow our "no fragrance" rule.

Well my sister-in-law has never followed by the rules. She ALWAYS smells like something, but swears she uses all of the unscented products I have asked her to use. She says, I just don't like her and am making a bigger situation out of this than it should be. I am sorry but I work with the public and if you can smell someone from 3 feet away...it is not thier "natural God given smell".

Ok after that long post. Please everyone just give me the courage to stand up for Lexi and the longer, healthier life these changes will give her. I hate to alienate her from family members, but you would think they would be the first to bend over backwards to do whatever it takes...right...

lexisangels05 · Aug 5, 2009

Hi, everyone...yes it is me again. I have MANY threads on this issue and my family members. I need some major wisdom and someone to help me stand up for my daughter.
 
 Lexi as you all know is 5 and is VERY sensitive to fragrances. She shows no immediate signs, but the next day is very congested after being exposed. I have had to change EVERYTHING...shampoo, soap, washing powder, cleaning products, my skin and hair care products...ect. I always thought she was sentive, but never knew how serious it was for CFers until reading some of your posts. We wondered why she was so much more congested after I started back using perfume,changed our washing powder, and started using home plug in air fresheners.
 
 Since my major change she is so much better, but the damage is done. Her cough is not going completely away, her inflammation that worsened over this time caused more growth in her cultures, and all of this landed her in the hospital in June. She did 5 weeks of IV antibiotics that did not completely clear up her congestion.
 
 I swore to stick to my guns after her hospitalization and not allow anyone around her if they could not follow our "no fragrance" rule.
 
 Well my sister-in-law has never followed by the rules. She ALWAYS smells like something, but swears she uses all of the unscented products I have asked her to use. She says, I just don't like her and am making a bigger situation out of this than it should be. I am sorry but I work with the public and if you can smell someone from 3 feet away...it is not thier "natural God given smell".
 
 Ok after that long post. Please everyone just give me the courage to stand up for Lexi and the longer, healthier life these changes will give her. I hate to alienate her from family members, but you would think they would be the first to bend over backwards to do whatever it takes...right...

MicheleGazelle · Aug 5, 2009

I finally had to tell some relatives that I just couldn't see them anymore because it was making me too ill. I had to repeat this firmly but nicely several times over a few months before it really sunk in. I now keep in touch by cards and phone calls. I think one thing that helped was making sure I didn't sound angry and rejecting about it while at the same time not backing down. I think if you sound angry and rejecting, that's part of what makes people feel personally rejected, like you just hate them. I figured this would go over very poorly but they have been surprisingly good about it. Again: I had to repeat myself and be kind of patient with the fact that they were slow to Get It. I think it's just really hard for some people to understand how serious such a seemingly small thing can be.

MicheleGazelle · Aug 5, 2009

I finally had to tell some relatives that I just couldn't see them anymore because it was making me too ill. I had to repeat this firmly but nicely several times over a few months before it really sunk in. I now keep in touch by cards and phone calls. I think one thing that helped was making sure I didn't sound angry and rejecting about it while at the same time not backing down. I think if you sound angry and rejecting, that's part of what makes people feel personally rejected, like you just hate them. I figured this would go over very poorly but they have been surprisingly good about it. Again: I had to repeat myself and be kind of patient with the fact that they were slow to Get It. I think it's just really hard for some people to understand how serious such a seemingly small thing can be.

MicheleGazelle · Aug 5, 2009

I finally had to tell some relatives that I just couldn't see them anymore because it was making me too ill. I had to repeat this firmly but nicely several times over a few months before it really sunk in. I now keep in touch by cards and phone calls. I think one thing that helped was making sure I didn't sound angry and rejecting about it while at the same time not backing down. I think if you sound angry and rejecting, that's part of what makes people feel personally rejected, like you just hate them. I figured this would go over very poorly but they have been surprisingly good about it. Again: I had to repeat myself and be kind of patient with the fact that they were slow to Get It. I think it's just really hard for some people to understand how serious such a seemingly small thing can be.

MicheleGazelle · Aug 5, 2009

I finally had to tell some relatives that I just couldn't see them anymore because it was making me too ill. I had to repeat this firmly but nicely several times over a few months before it really sunk in. I now keep in touch by cards and phone calls. I think one thing that helped was making sure I didn't sound angry and rejecting about it while at the same time not backing down. I think if you sound angry and rejecting, that's part of what makes people feel personally rejected, like you just hate them. I figured this would go over very poorly but they have been surprisingly good about it. Again: I had to repeat myself and be kind of patient with the fact that they were slow to Get It. I think it's just really hard for some people to understand how serious such a seemingly small thing can be.

MicheleGazelle · Aug 5, 2009

I finally had to tell some relatives that I just couldn't see them anymore because it was making me too ill. I had to repeat this firmly but nicely several times over a few months before it really sunk in. I now keep in touch by cards and phone calls. I think one thing that helped was making sure I didn't sound angry and rejecting about it while at the same time not backing down. I think if you sound angry and rejecting, that's part of what makes people feel personally rejected, like you just hate them. I figured this would go over very poorly but they have been surprisingly good about it. Again: I had to repeat myself and be kind of patient with the fact that they were slow to Get It. I think it's just really hard for some people to understand how serious such a seemingly small thing can be.

Ratatosk · Aug 5, 2009

Totally different situation, but DH had to have a "come to jesus" meeting with his mother a couple years ago about failing to disclose when people were sick. All too many times she'd tell us that someone --- sister, niece, grandaughter "just had a cold", only to find out later it was bronchitis or pneumonia.

My husband told her that we weren't going to risk DS' health, his lungs -- that we were talking about his life here and she needed to be more upfront. It would have been one thing if she didn't know about it, but she would use the "just a cold excuse" because she was too embarrassed that we might not come to a family event. She's always been too worried about what other people might think -- my SIL had to tell someone once to put out a cigar 'cuz my MIL was too embarrassed.

All we were really asking was that she would let us know ahead of time about anyone who might be ill, so we could make an informed decision or at least have DS keep his distance, as in the case of the uncle with the oozing sores.

It's not a comfortable situation to be in, but if your daughter is having these types of issues, then you need to stand your ground and not be around this person if she is in fact not complying with your request. Might take a couple times, but prepare yourself ahead of time -- if you show up and your SIL smells up the room, turn around and leave.

Ratatosk · Aug 5, 2009

Totally different situation, but DH had to have a "come to jesus" meeting with his mother a couple years ago about failing to disclose when people were sick. All too many times she'd tell us that someone --- sister, niece, grandaughter "just had a cold", only to find out later it was bronchitis or pneumonia.

My husband told her that we weren't going to risk DS' health, his lungs -- that we were talking about his life here and she needed to be more upfront. It would have been one thing if she didn't know about it, but she would use the "just a cold excuse" because she was too embarrassed that we might not come to a family event. She's always been too worried about what other people might think -- my SIL had to tell someone once to put out a cigar 'cuz my MIL was too embarrassed.

All we were really asking was that she would let us know ahead of time about anyone who might be ill, so we could make an informed decision or at least have DS keep his distance, as in the case of the uncle with the oozing sores.

It's not a comfortable situation to be in, but if your daughter is having these types of issues, then you need to stand your ground and not be around this person if she is in fact not complying with your request. Might take a couple times, but prepare yourself ahead of time -- if you show up and your SIL smells up the room, turn around and leave.

Ratatosk · Aug 5, 2009

Totally different situation, but DH had to have a "come to jesus" meeting with his mother a couple years ago about failing to disclose when people were sick. All too many times she'd tell us that someone --- sister, niece, grandaughter "just had a cold", only to find out later it was bronchitis or pneumonia.

My husband told her that we weren't going to risk DS' health, his lungs -- that we were talking about his life here and she needed to be more upfront. It would have been one thing if she didn't know about it, but she would use the "just a cold excuse" because she was too embarrassed that we might not come to a family event. She's always been too worried about what other people might think -- my SIL had to tell someone once to put out a cigar 'cuz my MIL was too embarrassed.

All we were really asking was that she would let us know ahead of time about anyone who might be ill, so we could make an informed decision or at least have DS keep his distance, as in the case of the uncle with the oozing sores.

It's not a comfortable situation to be in, but if your daughter is having these types of issues, then you need to stand your ground and not be around this person if she is in fact not complying with your request. Might take a couple times, but prepare yourself ahead of time -- if you show up and your SIL smells up the room, turn around and leave.

Ratatosk · Aug 5, 2009

Totally different situation, but DH had to have a "come to jesus" meeting with his mother a couple years ago about failing to disclose when people were sick. All too many times she'd tell us that someone --- sister, niece, grandaughter "just had a cold", only to find out later it was bronchitis or pneumonia.

My husband told her that we weren't going to risk DS' health, his lungs -- that we were talking about his life here and she needed to be more upfront. It would have been one thing if she didn't know about it, but she would use the "just a cold excuse" because she was too embarrassed that we might not come to a family event. She's always been too worried about what other people might think -- my SIL had to tell someone once to put out a cigar 'cuz my MIL was too embarrassed.

All we were really asking was that she would let us know ahead of time about anyone who might be ill, so we could make an informed decision or at least have DS keep his distance, as in the case of the uncle with the oozing sores.

It's not a comfortable situation to be in, but if your daughter is having these types of issues, then you need to stand your ground and not be around this person if she is in fact not complying with your request. Might take a couple times, but prepare yourself ahead of time -- if you show up and your SIL smells up the room, turn around and leave.

Ratatosk · Aug 5, 2009

Totally different situation, but DH had to have a "come to jesus" meeting with his mother a couple years ago about failing to disclose when people were sick. All too many times she'd tell us that someone --- sister, niece, grandaughter "just had a cold", only to find out later it was bronchitis or pneumonia.
 
 My husband told her that we weren't going to risk DS' health, his lungs -- that we were talking about his life here and she needed to be more upfront. It would have been one thing if she didn't know about it, but she would use the "just a cold excuse" because she was too embarrassed that we might not come to a family event. She's always been too worried about what other people might think -- my SIL had to tell someone once to put out a cigar 'cuz my MIL was too embarrassed.
 
 All we were really asking was that she would let us know ahead of time about anyone who might be ill, so we could make an informed decision or at least have DS keep his distance, as in the case of the uncle with the oozing sores.
 
 It's not a comfortable situation to be in, but if your daughter is having these types of issues, then you need to stand your ground and not be around this person if she is in fact not complying with your request. Might take a couple times, but prepare yourself ahead of time -- if you show up and your SIL smells up the room, turn around and leave.

JazzysMom · Aug 5, 2009

Just remember that its never "personal" about the person themselves. Its for your child & if the people take it personally then that is THEIR problem.

You know what is/isnt true & what does/doesnt bother Lexi. Maybe there is even a possibility that she is actually allergic to the person & not just the lotions etc.

Of course that would really put a damper on things, but its not that you CHOSE for your daughter to be so sensitive.

This is just the beginning my friend. You need to remember what you have learned & heard as well as witnessed for yourself.

THAT is all the proof you need to advocate for your child!

HUGS

JazzysMom · Aug 5, 2009

Just remember that its never "personal" about the person themselves. Its for your child & if the people take it personally then that is THEIR problem.

You know what is/isnt true & what does/doesnt bother Lexi. Maybe there is even a possibility that she is actually allergic to the person & not just the lotions etc.

Of course that would really put a damper on things, but its not that you CHOSE for your daughter to be so sensitive.

This is just the beginning my friend. You need to remember what you have learned & heard as well as witnessed for yourself.

THAT is all the proof you need to advocate for your child!

HUGS

JazzysMom · Aug 5, 2009

Just remember that its never "personal" about the person themselves. Its for your child & if the people take it personally then that is THEIR problem.

You know what is/isnt true & what does/doesnt bother Lexi. Maybe there is even a possibility that she is actually allergic to the person & not just the lotions etc.

Of course that would really put a damper on things, but its not that you CHOSE for your daughter to be so sensitive.

This is just the beginning my friend. You need to remember what you have learned & heard as well as witnessed for yourself.

THAT is all the proof you need to advocate for your child!

HUGS

JazzysMom · Aug 5, 2009

Just remember that its never "personal" about the person themselves. Its for your child & if the people take it personally then that is THEIR problem.

You know what is/isnt true & what does/doesnt bother Lexi. Maybe there is even a possibility that she is actually allergic to the person & not just the lotions etc.

Of course that would really put a damper on things, but its not that you CHOSE for your daughter to be so sensitive.

This is just the beginning my friend. You need to remember what you have learned & heard as well as witnessed for yourself.

THAT is all the proof you need to advocate for your child!

HUGS

JazzysMom · Aug 5, 2009

Just remember that its never "personal" about the person themselves. Its for your child & if the people take it personally then that is THEIR problem.
 
 You know what is/isnt true & what does/doesnt bother Lexi. Maybe there is even a possibility that she is actually allergic to the person & not just the lotions etc.
 
 Of course that would really put a damper on things, but its not that you CHOSE for your daughter to be so sensitive.
 
 This is just the beginning my friend. You need to remember what you have learned & heard as well as witnessed for yourself.
 
 THAT is all the proof you need to advocate for your child!
 
 HUGS

Another fragrance issue...uughhh

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