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Being a Charity Case
- Thread starter anonymous
- Start date
RE: Being a Charity Case
Hey Marlene, I know that it feels really unfair and wrong when people say insensitive things. But try to remember that most of the time they don't mean it how it sounds, or that they don't know how to communicate what they really mean. Remember that CF is a heavy thing, and sadly, people are very uneducated about it, although you would think they would be b/c it is the #1 genetic disease. Most people are very fuzzy about CF and they are curious, but they are unsure how to question you. They best way to deal with them is first to know what your own boundaries are. I am a walking CF dictionary and I spout it out every time someone asks a question. I've very open because I want to help educate people as well as help them learn to cope with something so heavy. This might not be what you want to do, but know what you're willing to share or not. Second, correct someone when they have misinformation and politley let them know that what they've said could be misconstrued. As I said, most people aren't trying to be rude. Third, be patient. Many people have never had an encounter with a disease of any kind. I bet you've notice that people who have lost parents to cancer and things like that have more empathy. You will occasionally run into people who are a little wacko, and really do believe that you are a charity case. I once had a boyfriend who was absolutly convinced that i was going to die without him being there to take care of me. (didn't he notice that I had existed for 20 years without him being there?) We had alot of other issues, and had a nasty break up. The point is that you have to decide if you want to deal with those kinds of people. If there is someone whom you want to have a friendship with and it seems that all they see is CF, talk to them and be honest! If they just can't get the message, break it off. You know you are more than CF, and other people do to. As far as people who can't "emotionally handel" it, you have a bit more soul searching to do. Each case is different, so you will have to evaluate them as they come, and see what works for you. When I was six, my parents divorced. Although they had alot of issues, I know that one of them was my father's inability to really handle my CF, and he is a doctor!! Over the years, we had a horrid relationship, but in the past four years, we've gotten really close. He is now able to understand what CF means for me, and he can cope. I'm really proud of him for that. But sometimes, we have to let people out of our lives, for whatever reason. i know that CF is a really shitty one, but some people are just emotional babies. Do what works for you. Taking care of your self means mentally and spiritually as well as physically.Debbie22 yr old w/ CF
Hey Marlene, I know that it feels really unfair and wrong when people say insensitive things. But try to remember that most of the time they don't mean it how it sounds, or that they don't know how to communicate what they really mean. Remember that CF is a heavy thing, and sadly, people are very uneducated about it, although you would think they would be b/c it is the #1 genetic disease. Most people are very fuzzy about CF and they are curious, but they are unsure how to question you. They best way to deal with them is first to know what your own boundaries are. I am a walking CF dictionary and I spout it out every time someone asks a question. I've very open because I want to help educate people as well as help them learn to cope with something so heavy. This might not be what you want to do, but know what you're willing to share or not. Second, correct someone when they have misinformation and politley let them know that what they've said could be misconstrued. As I said, most people aren't trying to be rude. Third, be patient. Many people have never had an encounter with a disease of any kind. I bet you've notice that people who have lost parents to cancer and things like that have more empathy. You will occasionally run into people who are a little wacko, and really do believe that you are a charity case. I once had a boyfriend who was absolutly convinced that i was going to die without him being there to take care of me. (didn't he notice that I had existed for 20 years without him being there?) We had alot of other issues, and had a nasty break up. The point is that you have to decide if you want to deal with those kinds of people. If there is someone whom you want to have a friendship with and it seems that all they see is CF, talk to them and be honest! If they just can't get the message, break it off. You know you are more than CF, and other people do to. As far as people who can't "emotionally handel" it, you have a bit more soul searching to do. Each case is different, so you will have to evaluate them as they come, and see what works for you. When I was six, my parents divorced. Although they had alot of issues, I know that one of them was my father's inability to really handle my CF, and he is a doctor!! Over the years, we had a horrid relationship, but in the past four years, we've gotten really close. He is now able to understand what CF means for me, and he can cope. I'm really proud of him for that. But sometimes, we have to let people out of our lives, for whatever reason. i know that CF is a really shitty one, but some people are just emotional babies. Do what works for you. Taking care of your self means mentally and spiritually as well as physically.Debbie22 yr old w/ CF
RE: Being a Charity Case
Hey Debbie,Thanks for those good words of encouragement! That's EXACTLY what my wonderful parents have been saying and also my Phycologist .I appreciate that you took the time to give me some real affirmation and a good gameplan from someone who has CF. Thanks again,Marlene from Mississippi
Hey Debbie,Thanks for those good words of encouragement! That's EXACTLY what my wonderful parents have been saying and also my Phycologist .I appreciate that you took the time to give me some real affirmation and a good gameplan from someone who has CF. Thanks again,Marlene from Mississippi