Blonde driving

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dyza

New member
A blonde was driving along a country road admiring the view, when she sees another blonde trying to row a rowing boat in the middle of a field of wheat.
She screeches to a halt and jumps out and starts to yell, '' your the type that gives us blondes a bad name, and if I could swim, I'd swim out there and kick your butt''
 
6

65rosessamurai

Guest
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.
She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "And, how often do I have to do that?"
 
K

kayleesgrandma

New member
Two blondes are walking down the railroad tracks. After a couple of miles, one says, "Man, all these steps are killing me." The other blonde replies, "It's not all the steps, it's these darned low handrails."
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>kayleesgrandma</b></i>

Two blondes are walking down the railroad tracks. After a couple of miles, one says, "Man, all these steps are killing me." The other blonde replies, "It's not all the steps, it's these darned low handrails."</end quote></div>


You guys are cracking me up! Keep them coming!
 
6

65rosessamurai

Guest
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled,
"PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
 
I

imondeck

New member
There are three ladies working in the same office. They begin to notice that each day the boss, who is also a female, leaves work early.

One day they decide that once the boss takes off they are gonna be right behind her, after all she never comes back or calls so how would she know. So, they all three leave and the brunette was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her spa before meeting her dinner date. The redhead was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early. The blonde was happy, happy, happy, to be home. But when she got to her bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracks open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS!! Ever so gently she closed the door and crept out of her house.

The next day at coffee break, the brunette and redhead mentioned leaving early again and asked the blonde if she wanted to go with them.

"NO WAY!!" The blonde exclaimed, "I damn near got caught yesterday"!
 
C

cfgirl2008

New member
Death Row in Women's Prison

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim..."
Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim..."

Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim..."

And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"
 
C

cfgirl2008

New member
Blonde Puzzle

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years."


Tiffany 16 w/cf
 
C

cfgirl2008

New member
Air Head on a Beer

Why did the blonde take a ladder into the bar?
She heard the drinks were on the house.


Tiffany 16 w/cf
 
C

cfgirl2008

New member
We Don't Swerve Blondes Here

A cop pulled over a car for swerving all over the road. The blonde at the wheel looked very confused and scared.
"What's going on here, ma'am?"

"Well, I was driving along when all of a sudden there was a tree right in my path. I swerved to miss it, but there was another tree. And after that, another, and another." The cop looked inside her car and sighed.

"Ma'am. That's your air freshener."


Tiffany 16 w/cf
 
C

cfgirl2008

New member
Three Blondes

There were three blondes living together. Blonde #1 was coming back from grocery shopping, and she dropped her keys. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself, ''Am I going up the stairs or down the stairs?'' So, she stood there puzzled, the bags of groceries still in her hands.
Blonde #2 was taking a bath, and was draining the tub because it was too cold. With her hair still dry, she said to herself, ''Was I getting in the tub or out of the tub?'' She stood there, just thinking about it.

Blonde #3 was sitting in the living room in front of the coffee table, and she said to herself, ''Knock on wood I'm not as stupid as the other two!'' She knocked the table. ''Was that the front door or the back door?''


Tiffany 16 w/cf
 
M

melleemac

Guest
A red head, a brunette and a blonde all enter a breast stroke swimming competition taking place in the Atlantic.
They all set off together.
An hour later the red head crosses the finish line.
2 hours later the brunette crosses the finish line.
The blond is no where in sight.

2 days later the blonde shows up at the finish line, totally exhausted, and screaming at the officials.
"Its not fair, the other girls cheated, they used their hands!"

ROFL
 
M

melleemac

Guest
OOps, this was a repeated one, lol, and yes Im a blonde, lol.
 
6

65rosessamurai

Guest
Did you hear about the Blonde Mafia who tried to blow up a car...burned her mouth on the tailpipe!!
How about:

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
 
B

blackchameleon

New member
ok, so these two blonde chics walk into a building one
morning,......................................<br>
you would think one of them would have seen it ??
 
B

blindhearted

New member
A blonde was standing on the banks of a river. She noticed another blonde on the other side walking back and forth. She watched this go on for a little while and finally got curious and yelled out, "What are you doing?" The second blonde replied "Trying to find a way to the other side." The first blonde responded "You idiot you are on the other side!"
 
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