can anyone relate to this? i am in a relationship that i have mostly considered excellent--really, i've had many bad to know the difference. we've been dating for about a year and a half. the thing is, whenever something "bad" happens that i don't like, i find myself thinking, 'will i have to break up with him because of that?' when, in reality, there seems to be too much good to consider that at this time.
for example, i went to a game tonight with my bf and two other friends. on our way out a fan of the other team (who had won) was yelling for their team. it was something that everyone else around us was ignoring--the guy wasn't trying to start anything, he was just taking a jab at our team. no big. my boyfriend stayed quiet for a bit but then couldn't help himself and started talking ***** about how the other team had a bad record, yaddy yaddy yaddy... i hate that. i hate that something like that could make him angry, and it goes along with his short fuse in certain other situations, too, that i don't like. it is embarassing to me, too.
i have thought that this is something harmless about him. not that he actually gets into fights or cusses someone out. and that it was something that i would have to get used to. (i have a bad reaction to anger from my past. nothing extreme, it just makes me uncomfortable.) his anger comes on quickly and just as quickly seems to go away.
but i am not sure if i will ever be able to get used to this. and it is impossible to ignore. (i wish it was that easy.) i have talked to him about it and told him how his anger affects me...that it makes me want to fix the situation (which i can't), it makes me feel like the anger is directed at me, even though it is not, and i simply don't understand so illogical of an emotion from such an intelligent man!
is this the mountain that i want to die on, though?? help..............
for example, i went to a game tonight with my bf and two other friends. on our way out a fan of the other team (who had won) was yelling for their team. it was something that everyone else around us was ignoring--the guy wasn't trying to start anything, he was just taking a jab at our team. no big. my boyfriend stayed quiet for a bit but then couldn't help himself and started talking ***** about how the other team had a bad record, yaddy yaddy yaddy... i hate that. i hate that something like that could make him angry, and it goes along with his short fuse in certain other situations, too, that i don't like. it is embarassing to me, too.
i have thought that this is something harmless about him. not that he actually gets into fights or cusses someone out. and that it was something that i would have to get used to. (i have a bad reaction to anger from my past. nothing extreme, it just makes me uncomfortable.) his anger comes on quickly and just as quickly seems to go away.
but i am not sure if i will ever be able to get used to this. and it is impossible to ignore. (i wish it was that easy.) i have talked to him about it and told him how his anger affects me...that it makes me want to fix the situation (which i can't), it makes me feel like the anger is directed at me, even though it is not, and i simply don't understand so illogical of an emotion from such an intelligent man!
is this the mountain that i want to die on, though?? help..............