Christina, for what it's worth, I felt the same way you did in high school. I hated doing treaments and it was embarassing to be coughing all the time. I didn't have a first date until my senior year in high school. College was much better because guys were more mature. I met my husband as a senior in college. I have been married to him for 31 years and he is the finest man on earth. He is my soulmate, my best friend, my partner in all of life's joys and sorrows. I've lived a long time with cf. It's not a disease for the weak of spirit. But you can have a joyful life anyway. It comes from a mixture of taking good care of yourself, having a good attitude, being assertive, and having a lot of luck. Right now there is no cure, and there's not one on the horizon. Still, with the treatments available, you can do very well. Take each day as it comes, and surround yourself with people of character- people who will be there for you, not people who are shallow. Trust me, you know the difference.
Find a doctor you trust and who will listen to YOU, not your disease. My doctor and I do not do everything by the book and never have. We go by more than the numbers. Still, I listen to him. Don't just be rebellious because you're trying to prove something or think that will somehow make you "normal." No one is normal anyway, so learn to embrace your cf as your own little quirk.
The fact that you're sharing yourself and seeking input speaks volumes about your own maturity. You're going to do just great in life with such an inquisitive and open mind. There will be many other times when you feel frustrated, different, angry, etc. That's okay. We all do. I know way too many people whose biggest problem in life is which new clothes or car to buy and they agonize about that as much as we agonize about whether to fit in one more treatment. Everyone has something to complain or worry about. Human nature, I guess. I try to find a balance between paying attention to my cf without letting it consume me. So far, I'm still ahead of the game! Be gentle with yourself and forgiving of those around you. Hold your head up high and use your energy for strength, not pity or anger. I'll hold you in my thoughts.
