<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif" border="0">
I've been with my fiance for five years now, and I've grown very close to his family. His cousin, Jacob, is about 7 y/o now and has CF. Fi's uncle, father of Jacob, had a long talk with him about CF when he asked, and his uncle told him that he should get tested to see if he's a carrier, too.
Of course, my fi's going to get tested, and if he's a carrier, I'll get tested as well, but there's a distant family history of CF on my part, as well, that I've discovered recently, so it's quite possible that I've inherited the carrier gene. I may be putting the cart before the horse here, but since it's been on my mind lately, I wanted to talk about it with some people that have been through this... If we're both carriers, what then? My first thought is to not risk getting pregnant, to adopt instead of subject my potential children to a lifetime dealing with such a rough disease, but then I think of Jacob and what a sweet and INCREDIBLE kid he is, and even though he has CF, he has parents who adore him and a big sister who thinks the world of him, and a wonderful and loving family. Every time I see him, he's smiling and is so happy to see my Fi and I... I start to think that it's awful to not want a child of our own, even with the problems that CF brings, and to deny them a life filled with happiness and love in order to protect them from a life filled with especially-thick mucous. I hate to deny a potentially AMAZING child (my own!) a chance at life because I know that he or she will face challenges... And even worse, I hate to think of denying a life because I'm afraid of feeling guilty at having passed on my CF genes to them. On the other hand, is this irresponsible of me, to want a child of my own and to put them in danger simply because *we* want a kid that's our own.
So... I'm not sure what my question really is, but I'll pose this one: If you knew that you and your partner were carriers before your child w/CF was conceived, would you do things any differently? If you *did* know that you were carriers beforehand, and you now have a child w/CF, how has that affected you?
-Cayley
I've been with my fiance for five years now, and I've grown very close to his family. His cousin, Jacob, is about 7 y/o now and has CF. Fi's uncle, father of Jacob, had a long talk with him about CF when he asked, and his uncle told him that he should get tested to see if he's a carrier, too.
Of course, my fi's going to get tested, and if he's a carrier, I'll get tested as well, but there's a distant family history of CF on my part, as well, that I've discovered recently, so it's quite possible that I've inherited the carrier gene. I may be putting the cart before the horse here, but since it's been on my mind lately, I wanted to talk about it with some people that have been through this... If we're both carriers, what then? My first thought is to not risk getting pregnant, to adopt instead of subject my potential children to a lifetime dealing with such a rough disease, but then I think of Jacob and what a sweet and INCREDIBLE kid he is, and even though he has CF, he has parents who adore him and a big sister who thinks the world of him, and a wonderful and loving family. Every time I see him, he's smiling and is so happy to see my Fi and I... I start to think that it's awful to not want a child of our own, even with the problems that CF brings, and to deny them a life filled with happiness and love in order to protect them from a life filled with especially-thick mucous. I hate to deny a potentially AMAZING child (my own!) a chance at life because I know that he or she will face challenges... And even worse, I hate to think of denying a life because I'm afraid of feeling guilty at having passed on my CF genes to them. On the other hand, is this irresponsible of me, to want a child of my own and to put them in danger simply because *we* want a kid that's our own.
So... I'm not sure what my question really is, but I'll pose this one: If you knew that you and your partner were carriers before your child w/CF was conceived, would you do things any differently? If you *did* know that you were carriers beforehand, and you now have a child w/CF, how has that affected you?
-Cayley