Hi has anyone else gone through this. After recently going for per assessment for transplant nod seeing changes with the cf I don't like bit know its going to get a lot worser before your accepted onto the list and having the most beautiful daughter who's 5 my parter of 9 years decides he doesn't love you and all because the cf is hard for him to cope with. I was like hard for you. Your the one snoring at daft o clock whilst I'm cough cough. Cough I'm the one seeing and knowing just how much the cf affects me but he's the one who sees half of it cos we never tell everything and the make up hides the tiredness and bags sorry who has it hard ? Of cause with cf and having it 37 years you could say I'm inconsiderate as he's only dealt with it 9 years how unfair he could have shared the worst times to come lol but saves it all for me and my daughter. But left with my ray of sunshine the days will never be dull no matter how hard the cf gets. Sorry if you think I rant. But from parents you get u will never know how hard it is to bring a child up with cf no but we learn the hard just by having it and really the out side world don't get it cos they just think your ok cos u look normal and its just the illness where u bash yourself lol. Rant over ! Hope your all keeping well!
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Cf and relationships
- Thread starter jdgal
- Start date
Lexymarie4
New member
Hi I'm sorta struggling with a part of this I'm 26 married with a 5 y/o son. Me and my spouse have been together for 11yrs married 5yrs. Instead of it being my spouse who wants to leave its me. I'm not happily in love anymore and I think its BC of all the stress that I've had in my life with the CF that makes it hard for me to move on in this marriage . I lost my brother 10yrs ago to CF and 3yrs later lost my mother to cancer. Right after my mother died my father found a gf and I was on the outs. I've been struggling with my Cf now for the past 7 yrs. My fev1 is around 49% and I'm scared of the struggles of being a single mom I literally have no one. I can't hold a job and can't support my son but for what life I have in me my family trials have put a strain on my marriage. I'm depressed I have anxiety and I'm unhappily marriage to someone who I used to love. Its been a tough road and there's a point when I feel like throwing in the towel my heart is beyond damaged and my health is making life harder on me. No one understands what I've been through or going through BC they don't live with the disease. But for some cfers its like this illness takes the good out of you.
LittleLab4CF
Super Moderator
I feel so bad for you. Just when you can’t take another blow, you are blindsided. In a marriage or committed relationship we make special commitments. I was conventionally married with no editing of the vows. Just remembrance of the words we spoke sets off a cacophony of emotions.
We were married in 1980 when two technological Yuppies couldn’t have been luckier. We survived the test of those promises and grew together in the process. Many, if not most relationships that involve a serious medical event like a cancer or CF that undergoes a major decline, don’t survive.
One of the most frequent marriage destroying diseases is Multiple Sclerosis (MS). First, nobody signed on for a disease like this, equally by both partner. It is a shock of a lifetime, often the first attack involves loss of sight and some paralysis. MS can cause neurological changes that affect the thought process of the patient. Although depression is most common, paranoia and attachment/detachment problems are often left off the list of medical problems to be fully treated.
Something that frightens me from time to time is how infrequently people talk about mental health and CF. The stress from CF, patient or family is enormous. In my humble opinion, I feel having a psychological professional on your medical team is as important as your pulmonologist of CFGI.
LL
We were married in 1980 when two technological Yuppies couldn’t have been luckier. We survived the test of those promises and grew together in the process. Many, if not most relationships that involve a serious medical event like a cancer or CF that undergoes a major decline, don’t survive.
One of the most frequent marriage destroying diseases is Multiple Sclerosis (MS). First, nobody signed on for a disease like this, equally by both partner. It is a shock of a lifetime, often the first attack involves loss of sight and some paralysis. MS can cause neurological changes that affect the thought process of the patient. Although depression is most common, paranoia and attachment/detachment problems are often left off the list of medical problems to be fully treated.
Something that frightens me from time to time is how infrequently people talk about mental health and CF. The stress from CF, patient or family is enormous. In my humble opinion, I feel having a psychological professional on your medical team is as important as your pulmonologist of CFGI.
LL
G
gunelle
Guest
I wrote a post a few weeks back on the same topic. My partner hasn't left me, but he's finding it hard to cope with CF and I am finding it hard to comprehend him. I have read about the topic, about living with a cronical disease in a relationship, where it states that you have to work as a team and discuss your problems. That it's normal to feel sad, angry and frustrated as a partner. I try to put the advise they give into practice, but still have a hard time understanding that he it sad, when it's me and my life affected by the disease more than him and his life...
emilymainzer
New member
These strings make me sad. I've been married for 25yrs. We were sailing along. Me in good health, with a solid job, and two beautiful daughters. Then 5 years ago my wife was diagnosed with MS. Overnight things changed for us. In the past we worried only about my CF and eventual decline. We now both have a chronic disease that requires attention and has long term ramifications. I give my wife weekly injections of interferon that zap here for a day. However the effects of MS have been kept a bay for the time being. All things considered we are in pretty good health and our marriage is stronger than ever. I also like to think that we are role models for our daughters. We fight, we get angry, we get fed up and life's not always easy but it helps to have a partner.
I tell this story often because peoples circumstances can change. Your partners that are less than supportive, or tired , or checked out may find themselves in need of someone some day too.
I tell this story often because peoples circumstances can change. Your partners that are less than supportive, or tired , or checked out may find themselves in need of someone some day too.
azdesertrat
New member
Marriage problems are bad enough; marriage problems with & because of CF must be awful. I hope you can reconsider & try to reconcile with your husband. I know that coping with CF takes more than one. There's no way I could have done it all these years without my wonderful Wife in my life. I've written numerously on this site of all that she's done & been for me. She's my lover, my best friend & my advocate. She's spoken for me many times when I was incapacitated. I hope you can find the same for you. Maybe you could step back & look at the positives in your marriage & overlook the negative. Its a team effort. You've got to strengthen the team. May God bless & be with you & your family.