Childcare Discrimination

[anonymous]

OK so I have worked up the courage to start working full time again since my son's diagnosis one year ago. I was offered a job and am to start in 2 weeks. My son is two and has digestive and lung issues, more digestive. 2 state registered daycares have expressed in no uncertain terms that they would have 'problems' accepting my son. One because of his enzymes, they would seclude him while he eats???? (PURE IGNORANCE!) And the other doesn't think they can take him because they don't allow 3 year olds to be in diapers. Can they do this?????

Has anyone else dealt with this?? I need a center that also provides transportation for my daughter who will be in kindergarten this fall for after school. Granted these are the first two centers I have called today, but are they all going to treat us like this? I have a couple of in home people I am going to call later, but honestly I may have to open my own daycare. Help!

 

[rose4cale]

oops, I wasn't logged in above.

 

[anonymous]

I have no idea about the enzymes (although that seems just ridiculous and totally ignorant!), but I know my brother is having problems finding daycare for his son because he is three, and even though he is potty trained with the rare "accident", he doesn't wipe himself. My daughter is just 15 months, so I don't know from personal experience, but I can't imagine the three year old that can do a good job wiping himself. And if I did run across one, I don't think I would put anything in my mouth that had touched his hands first!

Hopefully your next calls go a little better ...

-- Jenica

 

[CFHockeyMom]

I'm pretty sure they can restrict admission based on a child not being potty trained. This is pretty common even outside the CF world.

You mentioned that the daycares were both state registered but I assume they are not state run and are private? Either way, I don't think they can deny admission because your son takes "medication with meals" based on the Americans with Disabilities Act. As far as isolating him for meals, what a crock! Obviously these facilities aren't worth considering but you may want to call them back and let them know they are in violation of the ADA - put a little scare in them <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif" border="0">

I'm sure you'll have more success with an in home daycare.

 

[anonymous]

yes, they can say no to you if your child is not potty trained! They turned my child down w/o CF because he was 26 months and they have to be potty trained after 2 years old. I know it is insane. I hope you have better luck with the in home sitters.

 

[anonymous]

As far as the potty trained portion, that is up to the daycare center and they can impose those regulations. Denying him because of medications may be another situation and I recommend, as a previous poster did, that you contact the ADA and get them to assist with the situation. Any thoughts on contacting your local CF chapter to see if there are other parents of CF children who utilize a daycare in you area? Also, I know he is young, but CFers tend to be very smart...have you thought about a montesori school? That would also possibly benefit your daughter as all the montessori schools in our area provide transportation to the public elementary schools. Just an idea


Julie

 

[Emily65Roses]

Just a comment, you're not the only one to deal with this. When my parents were looking for nursery school for me (many years ago... haha), the first like 4 places my mom called said "Oh she's sick? And has meds? NO!!!!" She finally found a place that took me and I had a great time there. The lady who ran it had no problem with my CF, because she had a relative with something.... MD or MS or something. I forget. But yeah... you're not alone.

 

[rose4cale]

I was going to try the Montesorri school by here but as coincidence has it, my neighbors niece who has CF is just now enrolling into that school, so I thought I better try some other options. I have an in home sitter that is hopefully going to call me back. She is a 1/2 block from the school, 1 street over from us and is $150 cheaper PER WEEK than the centers! The centers will cost me $350 per week! It wouldn't be worth me working at that rate! The in home sitter is $100 per child per week! GRRRR! Maybe I should do daycare...

 

[anonymous]

I work at a daycare and take my son with me. I started working there a few months before he was diagnosed (he is now 4). My boss was amazing and let me take a leave so we could deal with his diagnosis. She went out of her to make sure my son was taken good care of. She accepted other children with special needs, learning difficulties, etc... with open arms. My son's "teacher" was not so understanding. She constantly complained about his dirty "stinky" diapers and she refused to give him extra salt because it was "bad" for him. I had to leave my classroom and go down the hall to give him his enzymes (legally she could not give him medicine) and she made such a big deal about it and how it disrupted the other kids lunchtime. I told my boss and she put my son in a different classroom with a better teacher.
Our school did not have an age limit on diapers--expecting a class of toddlers to all be potty trained is ridiculous and lazy. You will need a doctor's consent to let someone give your child medication-usually the director. Sorry about rambling on. My point is that there are daycares out there that will welcome your son, it may take a lot of phone calls to find the right one. You can talk to a lawyer or the social worker at the CF clinic, and they can tell you you're rights about this discrimination. However, even if they have to legally accept your son I would not want them watching him. There negative attitude will not change and your son deserves to be with a school that sees him a child and not a disease. Hang in there!!!

 

[anonymous]

The Montessori school that the 5 year old boy I take care of was absolutely wonderful, not only about giving him enzymes at snack time but about him using a cup instead of drinking out of the water fountain. They also did not hesitate to call me with questions concerning his CF or Diabetes. If he was out from school for a few days, and I had not previously told them, I always received a call.
As for the potty training. I think it is standard that some daycares will not take children who are not potty trained.
Good luck to you & maybe think about in home childcare. I am a nanny of a 5 year old with CF and Diabetes and I am responsible for his breathing treatments, enzymes, insulin, reordering perscriptions, making doctor appointments/clinics (I go to them too), not to mention homework with the 7 year old, cooking and doing everything live in nannies do. I love my job and find it very rewarding and am bummed that in three months he will be in school full time so I won't be as needed. -Christine

 

[EmilysMom]

Emily's memory of this story is good. I called several nursery schools in our town and got almost the same answer at every school. "Oh, she's sick and has meds...no, I'm sorry we don't have room." I found an early intervention program through our public schools that took her for an hour every day but that really wasn't enough. I wanted her to have more play time and interaction with kids her age. One day I got a phone call from a woman who said she ran a nursery school and would love to have Emily. I explained about the CF and she said "No problem". She explained that she had lost two sons to Muscular Dystrophy and knew how hard it was to try to find places for "special" kids. Emily spent the next three years at "Happy Time" and loved it!! When her little sister was big enough to go to nursery school, we actually got some phone calls from the schools that turned Emily down. It was a pleasure to tell them to "GO AWAY."

 

[rose4cale]

We were at a daycare center when Cale was diagnosed and they were a tremedous support because they had been taking care of him before we knew he was ill. Then my husband's job took us to the 'city' 2 weeks after the diagnosis and I took the year off to adjust to his illness and the move. We thought that we would find some of the best caregivers and it is really shocking us that these places are working against us and not with us. I can see the potty training thing even though it is not through our laziness. But kids potty train at such different ages. I want more than anyone for him to be potty trained! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">

As for the center that wants to seclude him to eat...they can literally kiss mine! You're right, I wouldn't take him there for anything! I wonder how they treat other situations that come up. Discipline, etc. I don't think they would provide us with the best care.

 

[rose4cale]

So with pure disappointment in what I found for childcare, I turned down my 9-5 job and am going to remain home with the kids and do my own in home daycare. It's something that I have thought about often, after my first born, so with the support of my husband and kids, I am opening a quality daycare that is CLEAN and safe and fun for my kids and others.

Wow, with the trouble we had, there has to be a demand for quality providers. Besides, I would have been paying the sitters more than I would have been bringing home. Didn't make sense.

If there are any other CF parents that do daycare I would love your input.

 

[anonymous]

I understand your frustration, personally I think if you can find an in home sitter, that is best. Daycares are great, but even the healthiest of children get sick alot when they are in daycares. As far as the $100 per week per child, that is a pretty fair rate, but maybe you could get a second child discount. It doesn't hurt to ask. The other thing to think about, you want someone that you feel comfortable with and trust to care for your children, and does $200 really sound outrageous for peace of mind? My vote is for the in home sitter. =)

Mom of Lexi (4 w/o) and Charlotte (13 months w/cf)