I think I just having a really bad day but I need somewhere to write all this out so I hope it's ok to do that here.
I've posted before about my failing marriage...there is definately no hope for it. For the 10th or so time in the last 11 months, he's turned down my request/offer to try counseling. He's willing to "play" house and wants me to take care of him (he stays for dinner so he doesn't have to cook, if we eat out I usually pay...) but he's not willing to do any of the work to try and save this marriage.
Im sleep deprived because Ry has an ear infectiong going on 3 weeks now and he's on his 2nd dose (different) of antibiotics and he's still waking up at night, and I don't know what to do for him/how to make him feel better. The doctor look at his ear on Monday and again today and said it's clearing up and looks a LOT better. But he is still fussy and whiney and neither of us have had a full nights sleep for over a week so I think that's having an effect on how I'm feeling right now.
the worst part of it all is that my mom called tonight. She's been Short of breath lately and went to the doctor on Monday. She is satting in the low 80's (normal is 97-99%) and they did a chest xray which appeared normal. They did an overnight pulse oximiter test on her and told her she ABSOLUTELY needs oxygen. She is also having an erradic heart beat and they are going to do an echocardiogram this coming monday. They want her to get a CT also, but the CT people are wanting her to do a bunch of other tests before they will do the CT (insurance stuff I imagine). Currently they have no idea what is causing this, but they are alarmed.
My mom is a SAINT, we didn't have that good of a relationship in my teen years, it was very strained. But since I grew up and moved out, she has been there for me more than anyone could ever imagine, and she does so much for me and for my family. She is an AMAZING mother and grandmother and is just such a wonderful person. She is the last person who deserves to have something like this happen to her, I mean, no one deserves it but WHY her?????
And my grandma passed away 3 weeks ago, and although she was ready and said she wanted to go, she was done fighting, it has still been hard. She was on oxygen too for the past few years and my mom says she now knows what a burden that must have been for her. I feel so bad for my mom and wish I could make this all go away for her!
My ex is getting laid off from boeing in May and has applied for about 30 jobs but no interviews yet, so there goes the child support. I'm trying to refinance using my VA benefits but every time I turn around they are asking for more paperwork and documentation. I even had to go back to court last week and ammend our separation agreement because they wanted it to say some specific things, now they want a letter from my CO stating I'm elgible to re-enlist...money is already REALLY tight and this was suppose to be closed in February, I'm starting to feel hopeless about how my life is going this year (YES, I am seeing a psychiatrist currently)
I just feel like everything is slowly falling apart and I'm just anticipating what might go wrong next. I'm really glad my mom told me. She said she wasn't going to say anything until they figured it all out but I'm glad she did so that I can be there for her now if she needs anything. But i just feel like my life is slowly falling apart.
Thanks for listening to me complain
I've posted before about my failing marriage...there is definately no hope for it. For the 10th or so time in the last 11 months, he's turned down my request/offer to try counseling. He's willing to "play" house and wants me to take care of him (he stays for dinner so he doesn't have to cook, if we eat out I usually pay...) but he's not willing to do any of the work to try and save this marriage.
Im sleep deprived because Ry has an ear infectiong going on 3 weeks now and he's on his 2nd dose (different) of antibiotics and he's still waking up at night, and I don't know what to do for him/how to make him feel better. The doctor look at his ear on Monday and again today and said it's clearing up and looks a LOT better. But he is still fussy and whiney and neither of us have had a full nights sleep for over a week so I think that's having an effect on how I'm feeling right now.
the worst part of it all is that my mom called tonight. She's been Short of breath lately and went to the doctor on Monday. She is satting in the low 80's (normal is 97-99%) and they did a chest xray which appeared normal. They did an overnight pulse oximiter test on her and told her she ABSOLUTELY needs oxygen. She is also having an erradic heart beat and they are going to do an echocardiogram this coming monday. They want her to get a CT also, but the CT people are wanting her to do a bunch of other tests before they will do the CT (insurance stuff I imagine). Currently they have no idea what is causing this, but they are alarmed.
My mom is a SAINT, we didn't have that good of a relationship in my teen years, it was very strained. But since I grew up and moved out, she has been there for me more than anyone could ever imagine, and she does so much for me and for my family. She is an AMAZING mother and grandmother and is just such a wonderful person. She is the last person who deserves to have something like this happen to her, I mean, no one deserves it but WHY her?????
And my grandma passed away 3 weeks ago, and although she was ready and said she wanted to go, she was done fighting, it has still been hard. She was on oxygen too for the past few years and my mom says she now knows what a burden that must have been for her. I feel so bad for my mom and wish I could make this all go away for her!
My ex is getting laid off from boeing in May and has applied for about 30 jobs but no interviews yet, so there goes the child support. I'm trying to refinance using my VA benefits but every time I turn around they are asking for more paperwork and documentation. I even had to go back to court last week and ammend our separation agreement because they wanted it to say some specific things, now they want a letter from my CO stating I'm elgible to re-enlist...money is already REALLY tight and this was suppose to be closed in February, I'm starting to feel hopeless about how my life is going this year (YES, I am seeing a psychiatrist currently)
I just feel like everything is slowly falling apart and I'm just anticipating what might go wrong next. I'm really glad my mom told me. She said she wasn't going to say anything until they figured it all out but I'm glad she did so that I can be there for her now if she needs anything. But i just feel like my life is slowly falling apart.
Thanks for listening to me complain