Dealing with others concerns

[littlemisskris16]

Hello Everyone!

I hope all is well with everyone!

I had a question for all you women.. How do or did you deal with other peoples concerns about you having a baby?

My husband and I were married last year, but had our ceremony this may in the bahamas. I am 31 and have been charting, just to see when I ovulate. Family members have asked can you have a baby? will you have a baby? Many have also brought up their own concerns with us having a baby, such as, carrying a healthy pregnancy, breathing, meds, and the what if something happens to me, leaving my husband to raise our child without me.

It seems that nothing I say soothes thier concerns. I do know it is really no ones business what we decide to do. I don't know how to reply to questions, that I dont have an answer for. I don't want it to sound as if I know everything or come off defensive. I have been told to adopt, find a surrogate, even have parrots instead of kids, no joke!

How do I not let all this stuff bother me?

Thanks in advance!

Kris
31 NY'er with CF/rD

 

[littlemisskris16]

Hello Everyone!

I hope all is well with everyone!

I had a question for all you women.. How do or did you deal with other peoples concerns about you having a baby?

My husband and I were married last year, but had our ceremony this may in the bahamas. I am 31 and have been charting, just to see when I ovulate. Family members have asked can you have a baby? will you have a baby? Many have also brought up their own concerns with us having a baby, such as, carrying a healthy pregnancy, breathing, meds, and the what if something happens to me, leaving my husband to raise our child without me.

It seems that nothing I say soothes thier concerns. I do know it is really no ones business what we decide to do. I don't know how to reply to questions, that I dont have an answer for. I don't want it to sound as if I know everything or come off defensive. I have been told to adopt, find a surrogate, even have parrots instead of kids, no joke!

How do I not let all this stuff bother me?

Thanks in advance!

Kris
31 NY'er with CF/rD

 

[littlemisskris16]

Hello Everyone!

I hope all is well with everyone!

I had a question for all you women.. How do or did you deal with other peoples concerns about you having a baby?

My husband and I were married last year, but had our ceremony this may in the bahamas. I am 31 and have been charting, just to see when I ovulate. Family members have asked can you have a baby? will you have a baby? Many have also brought up their own concerns with us having a baby, such as, carrying a healthy pregnancy, breathing, meds, and the what if something happens to me, leaving my husband to raise our child without me.

It seems that nothing I say soothes thier concerns. I do know it is really no ones business what we decide to do. I don't know how to reply to questions, that I dont have an answer for. I don't want it to sound as if I know everything or come off defensive. I have been told to adopt, find a surrogate, even have parrots instead of kids, no joke!

How do I not let all this stuff bother me?

Thanks in advance!

Kris
31 NY'er with CF/rD

 

[littlemisskris16]

Hello Everyone!

I hope all is well with everyone!

I had a question for all you women.. How do or did you deal with other peoples concerns about you having a baby?

My husband and I were married last year, but had our ceremony this may in the bahamas. I am 31 and have been charting, just to see when I ovulate. Family members have asked can you have a baby? will you have a baby? Many have also brought up their own concerns with us having a baby, such as, carrying a healthy pregnancy, breathing, meds, and the what if something happens to me, leaving my husband to raise our child without me.

It seems that nothing I say soothes thier concerns. I do know it is really no ones business what we decide to do. I don't know how to reply to questions, that I dont have an answer for. I don't want it to sound as if I know everything or come off defensive. I have been told to adopt, find a surrogate, even have parrots instead of kids, no joke!

How do I not let all this stuff bother me?

Thanks in advance!

Kris
31 NY'er with CF/rD

 

[littlemisskris16]

Hello Everyone!
<br />
<br />I hope all is well with everyone!
<br />
<br />I had a question for all you women.. How do or did you deal with other peoples concerns about you having a baby?
<br />
<br />My husband and I were married last year, but had our ceremony this may in the bahamas. I am 31 and have been charting, just to see when I ovulate. Family members have asked can you have a baby? will you have a baby? Many have also brought up their own concerns with us having a baby, such as, carrying a healthy pregnancy, breathing, meds, and the what if something happens to me, leaving my husband to raise our child without me.
<br />
<br />It seems that nothing I say soothes thier concerns. I do know it is really no ones business what we decide to do. I don't know how to reply to questions, that I dont have an answer for. I don't want it to sound as if I know everything or come off defensive. I have been told to adopt, find a surrogate, even have parrots instead of kids, no joke!
<br />
<br />How do I not let all this stuff bother me?
<br />
<br />Thanks in advance!
<br />
<br />Kris
<br />31 NY'er with CF/rD

 

[nichi874]

Hi Kris,

I'm sorry that you have to deal with people like this. I have a similar situation. I don't have CF, my boyfriend does. We are planning to get married but we have already started the process for children. We were wondering what the chances are that we could conceive naturally.
Anyway, I always hear comments about maybe we shouldn't have kids because if he dies then I'm left alone to raise a child by myself. Will he be able to accept a child that isn't biologically his? I've been told to stick with dogs!
My mother went as far to say that she didn't want me marrying him because she was too scared. I told her it was a good thing she didn't have to marry him then!
I never know what to say either, I just know that it hurts and it frustrates me. In the long run, I realize that the decisions are up to me, the hurt comes in feeling like nobody believes in me or my choices.
Good luck!

nicole

 

[nichi874]

Hi Kris,

I'm sorry that you have to deal with people like this. I have a similar situation. I don't have CF, my boyfriend does. We are planning to get married but we have already started the process for children. We were wondering what the chances are that we could conceive naturally.
Anyway, I always hear comments about maybe we shouldn't have kids because if he dies then I'm left alone to raise a child by myself. Will he be able to accept a child that isn't biologically his? I've been told to stick with dogs!
My mother went as far to say that she didn't want me marrying him because she was too scared. I told her it was a good thing she didn't have to marry him then!
I never know what to say either, I just know that it hurts and it frustrates me. In the long run, I realize that the decisions are up to me, the hurt comes in feeling like nobody believes in me or my choices.
Good luck!

nicole

 

[nichi874]

Hi Kris,

I'm sorry that you have to deal with people like this. I have a similar situation. I don't have CF, my boyfriend does. We are planning to get married but we have already started the process for children. We were wondering what the chances are that we could conceive naturally.
Anyway, I always hear comments about maybe we shouldn't have kids because if he dies then I'm left alone to raise a child by myself. Will he be able to accept a child that isn't biologically his? I've been told to stick with dogs!
My mother went as far to say that she didn't want me marrying him because she was too scared. I told her it was a good thing she didn't have to marry him then!
I never know what to say either, I just know that it hurts and it frustrates me. In the long run, I realize that the decisions are up to me, the hurt comes in feeling like nobody believes in me or my choices.
Good luck!

nicole

 

[nichi874]

Hi Kris,

I'm sorry that you have to deal with people like this. I have a similar situation. I don't have CF, my boyfriend does. We are planning to get married but we have already started the process for children. We were wondering what the chances are that we could conceive naturally.
Anyway, I always hear comments about maybe we shouldn't have kids because if he dies then I'm left alone to raise a child by myself. Will he be able to accept a child that isn't biologically his? I've been told to stick with dogs!
My mother went as far to say that she didn't want me marrying him because she was too scared. I told her it was a good thing she didn't have to marry him then!
I never know what to say either, I just know that it hurts and it frustrates me. In the long run, I realize that the decisions are up to me, the hurt comes in feeling like nobody believes in me or my choices.
Good luck!

nicole

 

[nichi874]

Hi Kris,
<br />
<br />I'm sorry that you have to deal with people like this. I have a similar situation. I don't have CF, my boyfriend does. We are planning to get married but we have already started the process for children. We were wondering what the chances are that we could conceive naturally.
<br />Anyway, I always hear comments about maybe we shouldn't have kids because if he dies then I'm left alone to raise a child by myself. Will he be able to accept a child that isn't biologically his? I've been told to stick with dogs!
<br />My mother went as far to say that she didn't want me marrying him because she was too scared. I told her it was a good thing she didn't have to marry him then!
<br />I never know what to say either, I just know that it hurts and it frustrates me. In the long run, I realize that the decisions are up to me, the hurt comes in feeling like nobody believes in me or my choices.
<br />Good luck!
<br />
<br />nicole

 

[MamatoAlexa]

(((HUGS)))
I know how upsetting all of it is! I could really write a book on the reactions I have had from those close to me. I try to reassure everyone that the decisions to TTC and have babies have been well thought through and discussed with all of my doctors.
I do not think there is a way of keeping their words from bothering you. I know I am right where I am supposed to be. Alexa and Hannah are here and my children for a reason. There is a perfect plan at work, I know that and belive in that with everything I have but the words of others still bother me.

 

[MamatoAlexa]

(((HUGS)))
I know how upsetting all of it is! I could really write a book on the reactions I have had from those close to me. I try to reassure everyone that the decisions to TTC and have babies have been well thought through and discussed with all of my doctors.
I do not think there is a way of keeping their words from bothering you. I know I am right where I am supposed to be. Alexa and Hannah are here and my children for a reason. There is a perfect plan at work, I know that and belive in that with everything I have but the words of others still bother me.

 

[MamatoAlexa]

(((HUGS)))
I know how upsetting all of it is! I could really write a book on the reactions I have had from those close to me. I try to reassure everyone that the decisions to TTC and have babies have been well thought through and discussed with all of my doctors.
I do not think there is a way of keeping their words from bothering you. I know I am right where I am supposed to be. Alexa and Hannah are here and my children for a reason. There is a perfect plan at work, I know that and belive in that with everything I have but the words of others still bother me.

 

[MamatoAlexa]

(((HUGS)))
I know how upsetting all of it is! I could really write a book on the reactions I have had from those close to me. I try to reassure everyone that the decisions to TTC and have babies have been well thought through and discussed with all of my doctors.
I do not think there is a way of keeping their words from bothering you. I know I am right where I am supposed to be. Alexa and Hannah are here and my children for a reason. There is a perfect plan at work, I know that and belive in that with everything I have but the words of others still bother me.

 

[MamatoAlexa]

(((HUGS)))
<br />I know how upsetting all of it is! I could really write a book on the reactions I have had from those close to me. I try to reassure everyone that the decisions to TTC and have babies have been well thought through and discussed with all of my doctors.
<br />I do not think there is a way of keeping their words from bothering you. I know I am right where I am supposed to be. Alexa and Hannah are here and my children for a reason. There is a perfect plan at work, I know that and belive in that with everything I have but the words of others still bother me.

 

[JazzysMom]

My biggest obstacle with my pregnancy wasnt my CF. It was my Mom. We didnt speak most of my pregnancy & my daughter was 1 month old before her Grandmother got to meet her.

It was difficult to say the least. Everyone else in my life asked what the doctors thought & when I told them, they were behind me 100%. My one sis went to all my CF checkups during my pregnancy so she could hear for herself how things were.

My mother did confess to my husband & I at one point after my daughter was born that when I get sick again that in her mind it would be from the pregnancy.

I told her that was so unfair since CF is progressive & I had been in/out of hospitals all my life.

My pregnancy was fantastic. I worked through my whole pregnanacy & felt great.

My Mom has since come around, but at the time to have to distance myself from her to avoid stress was very sad!

HUGS to you!


EDITED TO ADD:

I also realize that some CFers dont think it out & then their family is left to clean up the mess. My Mom thought that is where she would be. Raising MY child at HER age. She assumed my husband would bail out also I guess. Not to mention that my Mom would be who I asked to raise my daughter!

 

[JazzysMom]

My biggest obstacle with my pregnancy wasnt my CF. It was my Mom. We didnt speak most of my pregnancy & my daughter was 1 month old before her Grandmother got to meet her.

It was difficult to say the least. Everyone else in my life asked what the doctors thought & when I told them, they were behind me 100%. My one sis went to all my CF checkups during my pregnancy so she could hear for herself how things were.

My mother did confess to my husband & I at one point after my daughter was born that when I get sick again that in her mind it would be from the pregnancy.

I told her that was so unfair since CF is progressive & I had been in/out of hospitals all my life.

My pregnancy was fantastic. I worked through my whole pregnanacy & felt great.

My Mom has since come around, but at the time to have to distance myself from her to avoid stress was very sad!

HUGS to you!


EDITED TO ADD:

I also realize that some CFers dont think it out & then their family is left to clean up the mess. My Mom thought that is where she would be. Raising MY child at HER age. She assumed my husband would bail out also I guess. Not to mention that my Mom would be who I asked to raise my daughter!

 

[JazzysMom]

My biggest obstacle with my pregnancy wasnt my CF. It was my Mom. We didnt speak most of my pregnancy & my daughter was 1 month old before her Grandmother got to meet her.

It was difficult to say the least. Everyone else in my life asked what the doctors thought & when I told them, they were behind me 100%. My one sis went to all my CF checkups during my pregnancy so she could hear for herself how things were.

My mother did confess to my husband & I at one point after my daughter was born that when I get sick again that in her mind it would be from the pregnancy.

I told her that was so unfair since CF is progressive & I had been in/out of hospitals all my life.

My pregnancy was fantastic. I worked through my whole pregnanacy & felt great.

My Mom has since come around, but at the time to have to distance myself from her to avoid stress was very sad!

HUGS to you!


EDITED TO ADD:

I also realize that some CFers dont think it out & then their family is left to clean up the mess. My Mom thought that is where she would be. Raising MY child at HER age. She assumed my husband would bail out also I guess. Not to mention that my Mom would be who I asked to raise my daughter!

 

[JazzysMom]

My biggest obstacle with my pregnancy wasnt my CF. It was my Mom. We didnt speak most of my pregnancy & my daughter was 1 month old before her Grandmother got to meet her.

It was difficult to say the least. Everyone else in my life asked what the doctors thought & when I told them, they were behind me 100%. My one sis went to all my CF checkups during my pregnancy so she could hear for herself how things were.

My mother did confess to my husband & I at one point after my daughter was born that when I get sick again that in her mind it would be from the pregnancy.

I told her that was so unfair since CF is progressive & I had been in/out of hospitals all my life.

My pregnancy was fantastic. I worked through my whole pregnanacy & felt great.

My Mom has since come around, but at the time to have to distance myself from her to avoid stress was very sad!

HUGS to you!


EDITED TO ADD:

I also realize that some CFers dont think it out & then their family is left to clean up the mess. My Mom thought that is where she would be. Raising MY child at HER age. She assumed my husband would bail out also I guess. Not to mention that my Mom would be who I asked to raise my daughter!

 

[JazzysMom]

My biggest obstacle with my pregnancy wasnt my CF. It was my Mom. We didnt speak most of my pregnancy & my daughter was 1 month old before her Grandmother got to meet her.
<br />
<br />It was difficult to say the least. Everyone else in my life asked what the doctors thought & when I told them, they were behind me 100%. My one sis went to all my CF checkups during my pregnancy so she could hear for herself how things were.
<br />
<br />My mother did confess to my husband & I at one point after my daughter was born that when I get sick again that in her mind it would be from the pregnancy.
<br />
<br />I told her that was so unfair since CF is progressive & I had been in/out of hospitals all my life.
<br />
<br />My pregnancy was fantastic. I worked through my whole pregnanacy & felt great.
<br />
<br />My Mom has since come around, but at the time to have to distance myself from her to avoid stress was very sad!
<br />
<br />HUGS to you!
<br />
<br />
<br />EDITED TO ADD:
<br />
<br />I also realize that some CFers dont think it out & then their family is left to clean up the mess. My Mom thought that is where she would be. Raising MY child at HER age. She assumed my husband would bail out also I guess. Not to mention that my Mom would be who I asked to raise my daughter!