Do you lie

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JennifersHope

New member
I was reading a blog from a mom who is going through a really hard time with her son, who is quite sick.. She just found out he wasn't telling the truth about his Lung function test..

I totally understand why he didn't tell her the truth.. and it got me thinking.. I do the same thing.. I don't ever tell anyone everything when it comes to my health... I always downplay and sugar coat it to my parents... with all of my health issues, and what I don't down play physically, I down play emotionally....

Even with my primary doctor I don't tell him how I really feel most of the time... and if I am bringing up something that doesn't feel well on me I way down play it....

I don't even think it is wrong to do.. I think it is merciful to do. why worry someone and make their life hard just because mine is?? Does anyone agree or disagree???
 
J

JennifersHope

New member
I was reading a blog from a mom who is going through a really hard time with her son, who is quite sick.. She just found out he wasn't telling the truth about his Lung function test..

I totally understand why he didn't tell her the truth.. and it got me thinking.. I do the same thing.. I don't ever tell anyone everything when it comes to my health... I always downplay and sugar coat it to my parents... with all of my health issues, and what I don't down play physically, I down play emotionally....

Even with my primary doctor I don't tell him how I really feel most of the time... and if I am bringing up something that doesn't feel well on me I way down play it....

I don't even think it is wrong to do.. I think it is merciful to do. why worry someone and make their life hard just because mine is?? Does anyone agree or disagree???
 
J

JennifersHope

New member
I was reading a blog from a mom who is going through a really hard time with her son, who is quite sick.. She just found out he wasn't telling the truth about his Lung function test..

I totally understand why he didn't tell her the truth.. and it got me thinking.. I do the same thing.. I don't ever tell anyone everything when it comes to my health... I always downplay and sugar coat it to my parents... with all of my health issues, and what I don't down play physically, I down play emotionally....

Even with my primary doctor I don't tell him how I really feel most of the time... and if I am bringing up something that doesn't feel well on me I way down play it....

I don't even think it is wrong to do.. I think it is merciful to do. why worry someone and make their life hard just because mine is?? Does anyone agree or disagree???
 
E

Emily65Roses

New member
I don't fill my mom in on all the tiny details, but she gets the truth, generally. Mike gets the truth and the details. Lucky man. Hah.

Oh, as for what's right or wrong, I think it's a personal thing. So long as you're not <b>dying</b> and <u>outright lying</u> about it, then it's your own deal. I am the honesty nutcase, so everything that happens, Mike knows. He knows I prefer to know everything that goes on, and I know he likes to know everything that goes on with me (especially with my health), so I tell him. *shrug*
 
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Emily65Roses

New member
I don't fill my mom in on all the tiny details, but she gets the truth, generally. Mike gets the truth and the details. Lucky man. Hah.

Oh, as for what's right or wrong, I think it's a personal thing. So long as you're not <b>dying</b> and <u>outright lying</u> about it, then it's your own deal. I am the honesty nutcase, so everything that happens, Mike knows. He knows I prefer to know everything that goes on, and I know he likes to know everything that goes on with me (especially with my health), so I tell him. *shrug*
 
E

Emily65Roses

New member
I don't fill my mom in on all the tiny details, but she gets the truth, generally. Mike gets the truth and the details. Lucky man. Hah.

Oh, as for what's right or wrong, I think it's a personal thing. So long as you're not <b>dying</b> and <u>outright lying</u> about it, then it's your own deal. I am the honesty nutcase, so everything that happens, Mike knows. He knows I prefer to know everything that goes on, and I know he likes to know everything that goes on with me (especially with my health), so I tell him. *shrug*
 
L

lightNlife

New member
A lot of my CF information is a "need to know" basis. I have full disclosure to my husband on EVERYTHING relating to CF. He goes with me to my appointments, helps keep me accountable with my meds, and works with me and the doctors so that I get the care I needed. He is my primary source of support.

My parents and other members of my extended family do not "need to know" all the nit-picky details. They are informed, but to a lesser degree than my husband is. We think of it like concentric circles around the two of us in the center. Brad and I are a single entity in the dot. What I know, he knows and vice versa. The first ring around us is the doctors healthcare professionals. They know the icky details, and are privy to the blow by blow (pun intended) of what's going on with us. If I'm not honest and transparent with them, then we're all just wasting each other's time, energy and resources. Why go to a doctor if I'm not interested in playing by their rules and taking their advice seriously?

The next circle is my parents and my sister. They have 20+ years of experience hearing about and learning about CF. They are vital when it comes to support, but they are not the first to know when things happen or when my health status changes.

Beyond that ring is my extended family and my in-laws. They know about CF, but not the nitty gritty stuff. They like to be "kept in the loop" so to speak, but I know that too much information will overwhelm them. I don't stretch the truth with them, I just withhold details in order to protect my own sanity. I've found that it's too exhausting for me to have to summon up the strength to comfort THEM when I'm the one going through a hard time.

Everyone else is outside the circle. Even friends. They may stand on a line for a time or two, but their purpose is really just to be friends. We have a mutual interest in just enjoying one another's company. Sometimes we talk about CF stuff, other times we don't. They know they can ask about it, but I'm not prone to volunteering much information about it.

When you have a chronic illness like CF, drawing the boundaries around yourself is important. I've learned whom to let in and whom to leave out. I subject myself to far less drama that way. In doing so, I've learned who my real friends are, and whom I can count on in a pinch. I've also learned that it's okay to redraw those boundaries for certain situations. There are times when my husband and I need to deal with things on our own, and deal with them privately. Psychotherapy is one such example. Brad knows I go, my parents know I go, but only Brad knows what gets discussed there.

I guess that's my long-winded answer to how I let people know about CF and how much.

Oh, as as to a parent not knowing the results of a PFT, that's unacceptable. Until a kid is 18, the parent is responsible and has every right to see the kid's medical stuff. She should have been more observant and assertive about keeping on top of things. She can't guarantee or force her kid's compliance, but she sure can know test results.
 
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lightNlife

New member
A lot of my CF information is a "need to know" basis. I have full disclosure to my husband on EVERYTHING relating to CF. He goes with me to my appointments, helps keep me accountable with my meds, and works with me and the doctors so that I get the care I needed. He is my primary source of support.

My parents and other members of my extended family do not "need to know" all the nit-picky details. They are informed, but to a lesser degree than my husband is. We think of it like concentric circles around the two of us in the center. Brad and I are a single entity in the dot. What I know, he knows and vice versa. The first ring around us is the doctors healthcare professionals. They know the icky details, and are privy to the blow by blow (pun intended) of what's going on with us. If I'm not honest and transparent with them, then we're all just wasting each other's time, energy and resources. Why go to a doctor if I'm not interested in playing by their rules and taking their advice seriously?

The next circle is my parents and my sister. They have 20+ years of experience hearing about and learning about CF. They are vital when it comes to support, but they are not the first to know when things happen or when my health status changes.

Beyond that ring is my extended family and my in-laws. They know about CF, but not the nitty gritty stuff. They like to be "kept in the loop" so to speak, but I know that too much information will overwhelm them. I don't stretch the truth with them, I just withhold details in order to protect my own sanity. I've found that it's too exhausting for me to have to summon up the strength to comfort THEM when I'm the one going through a hard time.

Everyone else is outside the circle. Even friends. They may stand on a line for a time or two, but their purpose is really just to be friends. We have a mutual interest in just enjoying one another's company. Sometimes we talk about CF stuff, other times we don't. They know they can ask about it, but I'm not prone to volunteering much information about it.

When you have a chronic illness like CF, drawing the boundaries around yourself is important. I've learned whom to let in and whom to leave out. I subject myself to far less drama that way. In doing so, I've learned who my real friends are, and whom I can count on in a pinch. I've also learned that it's okay to redraw those boundaries for certain situations. There are times when my husband and I need to deal with things on our own, and deal with them privately. Psychotherapy is one such example. Brad knows I go, my parents know I go, but only Brad knows what gets discussed there.

I guess that's my long-winded answer to how I let people know about CF and how much.

Oh, as as to a parent not knowing the results of a PFT, that's unacceptable. Until a kid is 18, the parent is responsible and has every right to see the kid's medical stuff. She should have been more observant and assertive about keeping on top of things. She can't guarantee or force her kid's compliance, but she sure can know test results.
 
L

lightNlife

New member
A lot of my CF information is a "need to know" basis. I have full disclosure to my husband on EVERYTHING relating to CF. He goes with me to my appointments, helps keep me accountable with my meds, and works with me and the doctors so that I get the care I needed. He is my primary source of support.

My parents and other members of my extended family do not "need to know" all the nit-picky details. They are informed, but to a lesser degree than my husband is. We think of it like concentric circles around the two of us in the center. Brad and I are a single entity in the dot. What I know, he knows and vice versa. The first ring around us is the doctors healthcare professionals. They know the icky details, and are privy to the blow by blow (pun intended) of what's going on with us. If I'm not honest and transparent with them, then we're all just wasting each other's time, energy and resources. Why go to a doctor if I'm not interested in playing by their rules and taking their advice seriously?

The next circle is my parents and my sister. They have 20+ years of experience hearing about and learning about CF. They are vital when it comes to support, but they are not the first to know when things happen or when my health status changes.

Beyond that ring is my extended family and my in-laws. They know about CF, but not the nitty gritty stuff. They like to be "kept in the loop" so to speak, but I know that too much information will overwhelm them. I don't stretch the truth with them, I just withhold details in order to protect my own sanity. I've found that it's too exhausting for me to have to summon up the strength to comfort THEM when I'm the one going through a hard time.

Everyone else is outside the circle. Even friends. They may stand on a line for a time or two, but their purpose is really just to be friends. We have a mutual interest in just enjoying one another's company. Sometimes we talk about CF stuff, other times we don't. They know they can ask about it, but I'm not prone to volunteering much information about it.

When you have a chronic illness like CF, drawing the boundaries around yourself is important. I've learned whom to let in and whom to leave out. I subject myself to far less drama that way. In doing so, I've learned who my real friends are, and whom I can count on in a pinch. I've also learned that it's okay to redraw those boundaries for certain situations. There are times when my husband and I need to deal with things on our own, and deal with them privately. Psychotherapy is one such example. Brad knows I go, my parents know I go, but only Brad knows what gets discussed there.

I guess that's my long-winded answer to how I let people know about CF and how much.

Oh, as as to a parent not knowing the results of a PFT, that's unacceptable. Until a kid is 18, the parent is responsible and has every right to see the kid's medical stuff. She should have been more observant and assertive about keeping on top of things. She can't guarantee or force her kid's compliance, but she sure can know test results.
 
P

princessjdc

New member
I dont sugar coat anything Ill let my parents know everything that goes on with my appointments and my husband too goes to my appointments with me for support and for him to know what all is going on, so that way he can hear it first hand. If I feel my doc needs to know something about me thats bothering me or if I notice something that I think he needs to know Ill let him know, cause the doc does need to know what is going on so he can diagnose and possibly get you the meds you may possibly need. Thats my two cents worth.
 
P

princessjdc

New member
I dont sugar coat anything Ill let my parents know everything that goes on with my appointments and my husband too goes to my appointments with me for support and for him to know what all is going on, so that way he can hear it first hand. If I feel my doc needs to know something about me thats bothering me or if I notice something that I think he needs to know Ill let him know, cause the doc does need to know what is going on so he can diagnose and possibly get you the meds you may possibly need. Thats my two cents worth.
 
P

princessjdc

New member
I dont sugar coat anything Ill let my parents know everything that goes on with my appointments and my husband too goes to my appointments with me for support and for him to know what all is going on, so that way he can hear it first hand. If I feel my doc needs to know something about me thats bothering me or if I notice something that I think he needs to know Ill let him know, cause the doc does need to know what is going on so he can diagnose and possibly get you the meds you may possibly need. Thats my two cents worth.
 
J

JennifersHope

New member
I agree lying to a doctor is counterproductive.. Lauren I love the boundries that yo have drawn.. they are quite impressive and very healthy... The issue I think for me is I am single... and I don't have anyone to share all the details of the nitty gritty with..so I am selective in what I tell ppl.

I have one person that I tell most stuff to, not all but most.. but the issue again for me is not wanting anyone to worry so I kind of just don't go there with anyone..
 
J

JennifersHope

New member
I agree lying to a doctor is counterproductive.. Lauren I love the boundries that yo have drawn.. they are quite impressive and very healthy... The issue I think for me is I am single... and I don't have anyone to share all the details of the nitty gritty with..so I am selective in what I tell ppl.

I have one person that I tell most stuff to, not all but most.. but the issue again for me is not wanting anyone to worry so I kind of just don't go there with anyone..
 
J

JennifersHope

New member
I agree lying to a doctor is counterproductive.. Lauren I love the boundries that yo have drawn.. they are quite impressive and very healthy... The issue I think for me is I am single... and I don't have anyone to share all the details of the nitty gritty with..so I am selective in what I tell ppl.

I have one person that I tell most stuff to, not all but most.. but the issue again for me is not wanting anyone to worry so I kind of just don't go there with anyone..
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
I dont sugarcoat things with my Mom, but I sure dont tell her a lot either. I do avoid going to her house when I am not myself because she picks up on things by how much food I eat. I cant "vent" to her or even fill her in on the truth because she gets too emotional. My hubby gets the info as he needs it. I have such few days that I truly feel great that I tell him when its a day that I just cant handle things. I do tell him when I have had hemoptysis tho because my activities are immediately limited then. I use to lie to my doctors. Mainly because I didnt want to address what needed to be addressed. It wasnt until on this forum that someone pointed out if the doctors are told one thing by a patient, but tests indicate something else then the treatment plan created could be all wrong & have an undesired affect. I no longer lie to the doctor. I dont call every time there is an issue, but when I go down for appts they know anything that has taken place even if I didnt call them.
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
I dont sugarcoat things with my Mom, but I sure dont tell her a lot either. I do avoid going to her house when I am not myself because she picks up on things by how much food I eat. I cant "vent" to her or even fill her in on the truth because she gets too emotional. My hubby gets the info as he needs it. I have such few days that I truly feel great that I tell him when its a day that I just cant handle things. I do tell him when I have had hemoptysis tho because my activities are immediately limited then. I use to lie to my doctors. Mainly because I didnt want to address what needed to be addressed. It wasnt until on this forum that someone pointed out if the doctors are told one thing by a patient, but tests indicate something else then the treatment plan created could be all wrong & have an undesired affect. I no longer lie to the doctor. I dont call every time there is an issue, but when I go down for appts they know anything that has taken place even if I didnt call them.
 
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