Christina -
Last summer, I was where you are now, contemplating the g-tube and wondering how in the world it was going to fit into our lives. Emily got her tube in August and since then has gained somewhere in the neighborhood of 6 1/2 - 7 pounds. Not a HUGE gain like I was h oping for, but a gain. And it's a good thing, becasue she has fully entered the Picky eater Toddler stage and some days she eats next to nothing. I am so grateful we went ahead with the tube, ev en though it was a terribly hard decision to make.
Maintenece of the tube has not been bad, at all. I had nightmeres that I just wouldn't b e able to take care of it, but it's been easy. The pump, the tube, the "iincision" site...it's not bad at all. If I can do it, you can, too. Please feel free to PM me if you want, for more info about specific questions.
As far as how to keep a tube clean...well, before she got her MicKeyl button, we kept her long tube coiled up under her t-shirt during the day. I cleaned her skin around the site with soap and water daily, and the tube itself got "cleaned" when she went in the tub. That's about it. I never even really thought about it.
Good luk to you, and don't hesitate to ask questions. It will make the process go easier on you all if she does end up getting a tube.