I was just wondering how does anyone spouses or gf or bf deal with their coughing, i know i cough an awful lot, i was with my ex for 4 years and don't kn ow how she dealt with it, now im seeing a girl who has been my friend for 4 years and we've been going out for 4 mo nths now she is gonna be a dr in pharmacy this week she graduates so she knows about cf and knows about it from being friends with me, i just don't know how they can take the coughing, she sleeps ova and i'm always worrying of keeping her up at night or it bothering her, she says it doesn't. But how do i know thats true? Just wondering if anyone felt the same way.
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How does spouse or gf/bf deal with coughing?
- Thread starter anonymous
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Emeraldmirror
New member
Sometimes i feel like that with my boyfriend. And sometimes when i go into a coughing fit, human nature kicks in and he'll ask me if i'm alright. Sometimes i'm worried i'll keep him up, if it's really bad i'll leave the room and go to the living room until i'm ok again. But at the same time, he snores, so really i guess it's like his unconscious way of getting me back
Ashley 20w/cf
Ashley 20w/cf
I don't quite relate to this post in the bf way, but that's something that I've always wondered about the next person I date. Will they be ok with it? I'm always worried that my cough will not only keep up my bf, but I worry it will gross him out...it's not the cutest thing I do <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">. Though, I live in dorms and I think my coughing wakes up the roomie just about everynight. She says it's ok, and there's nothing I can do about it, but I just feel really bad. Sometimes I go into the hallway so I won't wake her up, but that isn't always the nicest thing for me to do.
erin
19/f/cf
erin
19/f/cf
Emily65Roses
New member
I don't personally have a problem with this one... My Mike sleeps like a damn rock. There could be someone breaking into our house, shooting all the occupants, and setting stuff on fire, and Mike would sleep through it. So he doesn't wake up unless I purposely go over to him and shake him, tap him, and talk to him repeatedly for a good few minutes. Heh. I've had ridiculous coughing fits right next to him, and he keeps snoring away. lol
I think they just get used to it. When I'm having a coughing fit and it really doesn't go away, I go in the living room. But in the morning he says he didn't hear me. So I think they get so used to it. It's like listening to the fan or air cleaner. You just don't notice it any more. I wouldn' tworry about it. Although he says it doesn't bother him or wake him I still makes me feel better to go in the other room. Thats only if its longer than 10-15 min. and I aven't stopped yet. Becky<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
thefrogprincess
New member
I hate it when I get going and my bf either pounds on my back (I've actually choked because of that) or says (in a joking way) "don't die". I've just started saying that I cough so I won't die. My bf knows all about CF but I think he kinda lives in denial, especially since I've never been seriously sick.
NoDayButToday
New member
I can't relate to this in a bf/gf way, but can from going on vacation with friends and having sleepovers. My friends must sleep like rocks, because they are never bothered by if I wake up coughing. What they do say though, is that if I'm sicker and fall asleep before them, I moan while I'm sleeping.
From the side of being a spouse to someone with CF, when we first dated I didn't really understand all the coughing and it made me worry about him, but it didn't bother me. Once he explained to me what was going on, I was like "oh, well as long as you are ok" (ok in the sense that the cough was normal for him) it doesn't phase me. I can sleep through it because I have learned to. As the relationship grows, there become more important things than the coughing. If they really care for you they will see past it, especially if you let them know what is "normal" for you. I hope that makes sense.
Julie (wife to Mark 24 w/CF)
Julie (wife to Mark 24 w/CF)
Thanks everyone for your input , it definintely made me feel better to know that you all can handle it or your significant others can handle it, i really do not go into any other rooms like all you do, lol, maybe i should and i wont; worry as much. Once again thank you and hope to hear from more people
HollyCatheryn
New member
I love Emeraldmirror's idea that snoring is a subconscious way of getting even! HA! I must cough more than I thought. My coughing doesn't wake my husband most nights, but his snoring can keep me up even if I'm in another ROOM!When we are still awake and chatting (in bed) and I cough, he usually hears that distinctive inhale and plugs whichever ear is closest. He does the same when we ride in the car. He says I must have vocal chords of steel because of the volume I get when coughing. Sometimes the coughing does bother him. Partly because it's loud and he is sensetive to loud things, but also because it reminds him of CF. He never begrudges me, mind you. He feels bad for me when I have nights where the coughing keeps me up. He is able to fall asleep there in bed with me most nights, but it makes him sad that I'm not able to fall asleep. I tend to lump coughing in with anyother involuntary quirk. My hubby, I hope he doesn't come here and read this, has a sudden urge to poop THE MOMENT dinner hits the table. I'm sure it is his boy's way of getting ready for the meal like my body salivates. It annoys the heck out of me. I've finally gotten smart and tell him that dinner is ready a few minutes before it actually is so that he can do his thing and we'll be readyy by the time he gets out. His dad is the same way. I know you all REALLY wanted to know this. But, really. All that to say that if it's nothing you can do anything about, kindly and gently, give them the space to deal with it. It is hard to take sometimes when John will vent about how much he hates this or that about CF or the routines. Initially I get my feelings hurt, but then I realize that it isn't me he's mad at. He's mad at CF. He's mad at the reminders. So am I. I don't dislike ME - when I get down to it I dislike CF. He loves me so much, he doesn't want to think about things that might hurt me. I might just wncourage you to not take it personally if coughing does affect the other person. That doesn't necessarily mean that they don't really love you or that they can't handle it or whatever...It may mean that they love you very much.
I dated my ex-boyfriend for 3 years and lived with him for 2 1/2yrs, and he always used to say that he didn't think he would EVER be able to get used to my coughing. It used to keep him up at night so I would always sleep on the couch when my cough acted up. There were nights though when he would say that I kept him up coughing and I couldn't remember coughing at all. Do you think we cough in our sleep without even knowing it??
Melanie 25F w/cf
Melanie 25F w/cf
I dated my ex-boyfriend for 3 years and lived with him for 2 1/2yrs, and he always used to say that he didn't think he would EVER be able to get used to my coughing. It used to keep him up at night so I would always sleep on the couch when my cough acted up. There were nights though when he would say that I kept him up coughing and I couldn't remember coughing at all. Do you think we cough in our sleep without even knowing it??
Melanie 25F w/cf
Melanie 25F w/cf
Emily65Roses
New member
I'm pretty sure I cough in my sleep and don't remember it. If it's bad enough and I wake up, I remember it. But I wouldn't be surprised in the least if I also cough while sleeping and don't remember it.
hey, my boyfriend has cf, and stays over a few nights a week. to be perfectly honest, i am so used to his coughing that i really don't hear it anymore, i guess that i just tune it out. if it is really bad, i just put on a loud fan or the tv and it usually drowns out the sound.
I doesn't phase me. Although it doesn't happen often, when it does I just try to um, well, keep the momentum slowly going so if it's not a full blown coughing attack we can continue where we were. I mean, sometiems I cough or sneeze or something, we just try to stay focused on the moment and I can honestly say that I never really noticed or thought about the coughing during sex until I saw the post and had to think about it.
Julie (wife to mark 24 w/CF)
Julie (wife to mark 24 w/CF)
ClashPunk82
New member
My boyfriiend is great when I cough he knows to not ask me if I am ok while I am coughing! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"> He also rubs my back and gets me a drink. Sometimes I cough so hard I have to throw up and he is always there with me holding my hair back and rubbing my back. He is great like that. And yes when we "ahem" I sometimes will cough and he will just wait till I am done ask if I am ok and we usually laugh about it and then get back to business, lol!
Just a response from someone that doesn't have CF, my best friend has it and whenever she visits me or if i ever sleep at her house or even if we're just talking on the phone and she has a coughing fit it doesnt EVER bother me. it doesnt bother most people <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> so dont worry. and you're right human nature will kick in sometimes and we just cant help saying "are you ok?" <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
what is there to deal with it is a part of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ask if they need anything. how would your bf or gf deal with it if you had the flu or broncitis? come on now. i would like to know what you mean by deal with it!!!!!!!!!!! how do men deal with our PMS! my bfs coughing doesnt bother me cause i alaways no where he is, i can find him in the store pretty fast. the question really is how do you deal with it?