How to handle it

[meteoras69]

"Grandma" comes over every Sunday afternoon for a weekly visit and stays at our home all afternoon--which is great. The problem is, now that cold and flu season is here, she has arrived ready to visit even when she is sick (states that she has been sick for several days and coughs throughout the visit). How do you get through to family members that this is not ok? She seems to not "get" that a cold can turn really serious for our child.

 

[meteoras69]

"Grandma" comes over every Sunday afternoon for a weekly visit and stays at our home all afternoon--which is great. The problem is, now that cold and flu season is here, she has arrived ready to visit even when she is sick (states that she has been sick for several days and coughs throughout the visit). How do you get through to family members that this is not ok? She seems to not "get" that a cold can turn really serious for our child.

 

[meteoras69]

"Grandma" comes over every Sunday afternoon for a weekly visit and stays at our home all afternoon--which is great. The problem is, now that cold and flu season is here, she has arrived ready to visit even when she is sick (states that she has been sick for several days and coughs throughout the visit). How do you get through to family members that this is not ok? She seems to not "get" that a cold can turn really serious for our child.

 

[AleksandraKaczynska]

Hi
Guess we all have a problem with that. I have the same problem with one of Asia grandma's and my brother's family.
This is what I did and do since Asia was born:
Talk to her through phone after - I don't try to explain cf to her - I tried but it ddidn't seem to make a difference - I just tell her I don't want her coughting around my child and ask her to let me know when she's comming before - couse we're often out (not so often - but she doesn't need tp know <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"> ). When she phones she's comming - I ask about her health and, at doorstep - I always say" please wash your hands".
If they cough or seem unhealthy - I ask right away and aloud (so everyone hears)- if they are sick and hang over a box of tissues.
It ended up in a few quarrels but ( after a time) it seems to work.
As far as my brother - I starded phoning his wife. She is nuts about finding out new sickness in her children - so I scared her about cf and told her how scared I'm when my brother or Asia's cousin seem sick and ask her what it is so I can better manage if Asia get's sick.
I also used a more drastic method once and said I would not come since they where not healthy durring the last visit.
It's hard - and still is. every birthday and visit - are a worry....
Be strong and perhaps ask someone in the family - older - who understands - for help with this.

 

[AleksandraKaczynska]

Hi
Guess we all have a problem with that. I have the same problem with one of Asia grandma's and my brother's family.
This is what I did and do since Asia was born:
Talk to her through phone after - I don't try to explain cf to her - I tried but it ddidn't seem to make a difference - I just tell her I don't want her coughting around my child and ask her to let me know when she's comming before - couse we're often out (not so often - but she doesn't need tp know <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"> ). When she phones she's comming - I ask about her health and, at doorstep - I always say" please wash your hands".
If they cough or seem unhealthy - I ask right away and aloud (so everyone hears)- if they are sick and hang over a box of tissues.
It ended up in a few quarrels but ( after a time) it seems to work.
As far as my brother - I starded phoning his wife. She is nuts about finding out new sickness in her children - so I scared her about cf and told her how scared I'm when my brother or Asia's cousin seem sick and ask her what it is so I can better manage if Asia get's sick.
I also used a more drastic method once and said I would not come since they where not healthy durring the last visit.
It's hard - and still is. every birthday and visit - are a worry....
Be strong and perhaps ask someone in the family - older - who understands - for help with this.

 

[AleksandraKaczynska]

Hi
<br />Guess we all have a problem with that. I have the same problem with one of Asia grandma's and my brother's family.
<br />This is what I did and do since Asia was born:
<br />Talk to her through phone after - I don't try to explain cf to her - I tried but it ddidn't seem to make a difference - I just tell her I don't want her coughting around my child and ask her to let me know when she's comming before - couse we're often out (not so often - but she doesn't need tp know <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"> ). When she phones she's comming - I ask about her health and, at doorstep - I always say" please wash your hands".
<br />If they cough or seem unhealthy - I ask right away and aloud (so everyone hears)- if they are sick and hang over a box of tissues.
<br />It ended up in a few quarrels but ( after a time) it seems to work.
<br />As far as my brother - I starded phoning his wife. She is nuts about finding out new sickness in her children - so I scared her about cf and told her how scared I'm when my brother or Asia's cousin seem sick and ask her what it is so I can better manage if Asia get's sick.
<br />I also used a more drastic method once and said I would not come since they where not healthy durring the last visit.
<br />It's hard - and still is. every birthday and visit - are a worry....
<br />Be strong and perhaps ask someone in the family - older - who understands - for help with this.
<br />

 

[Ratatosk]

Is it your mother or your spouse's? One of you is just going to have to be direct. That because of DS' extra sticky mucus, he can be more suseptible to colds and coughs and possibly end up in the hospital, cause lung damage... Sounds drastic, but you'd all feel absolutely terrible if your child caught something that could've been prevented.

We've had issues with my MIL being too embarrassed about what others may think if we have her ask her sisters and other relatives about their illnesses. But DH has just had to say if we attend a family event and someone is sick, we very well may leave. We'd like to know ahead of time so we can make an decision. We've had too many relatives show up with "just a cold" and find out it was pneumonia. There's an uncle with COPD who doesn't come to events anymore, but we were always very worried what bugs he might be carrying.

Now it could be something as simple as a cough caused by new blood pressure medication -- both my MIL and Dad have a dry throat clearing cough which is caused by that. You could give her a call and inquire about her health, indicate that you noticed she had a bit of a cough to open up the conversation....

 

[Ratatosk]

Is it your mother or your spouse's? One of you is just going to have to be direct. That because of DS' extra sticky mucus, he can be more suseptible to colds and coughs and possibly end up in the hospital, cause lung damage... Sounds drastic, but you'd all feel absolutely terrible if your child caught something that could've been prevented.

We've had issues with my MIL being too embarrassed about what others may think if we have her ask her sisters and other relatives about their illnesses. But DH has just had to say if we attend a family event and someone is sick, we very well may leave. We'd like to know ahead of time so we can make an decision. We've had too many relatives show up with "just a cold" and find out it was pneumonia. There's an uncle with COPD who doesn't come to events anymore, but we were always very worried what bugs he might be carrying.

Now it could be something as simple as a cough caused by new blood pressure medication -- both my MIL and Dad have a dry throat clearing cough which is caused by that. You could give her a call and inquire about her health, indicate that you noticed she had a bit of a cough to open up the conversation....

 

[Ratatosk]

Is it your mother or your spouse's? One of you is just going to have to be direct. That because of DS' extra sticky mucus, he can be more suseptible to colds and coughs and possibly end up in the hospital, cause lung damage... Sounds drastic, but you'd all feel absolutely terrible if your child caught something that could've been prevented.
<br />
<br />We've had issues with my MIL being too embarrassed about what others may think if we have her ask her sisters and other relatives about their illnesses. But DH has just had to say if we attend a family event and someone is sick, we very well may leave. We'd like to know ahead of time so we can make an decision. We've had too many relatives show up with "just a cold" and find out it was pneumonia. There's an uncle with COPD who doesn't come to events anymore, but we were always very worried what bugs he might be carrying.
<br />
<br />Now it could be something as simple as a cough caused by new blood pressure medication -- both my MIL and Dad have a dry throat clearing cough which is caused by that. You could give her a call and inquire about her health, indicate that you noticed she had a bit of a cough to open up the conversation....

 

[scrapper1264]

Would it be possible to call her Sat. night to see how she is feeling? If she is sick, I would tell her it would be better if she waited to visit next Sunday. Do you think she would still come if you asked her to wait until the following week?

 

[scrapper1264]

Would it be possible to call her Sat. night to see how she is feeling? If she is sick, I would tell her it would be better if she waited to visit next Sunday. Do you think she would still come if you asked her to wait until the following week?

 

[scrapper1264]

Would it be possible to call her Sat. night to see how she is feeling? If she is sick, I would tell her it would be better if she waited to visit next Sunday. Do you think she would still come if you asked her to wait until the following week?