Humor....

zoe4life

New member
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog while talking on a cell phone.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of
12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

I saw this earlier this morning and thought I would share. I hope you all are well and have a fantastic day!

Scott,
Zoe's Daddy
 

zoe4life

New member
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog while talking on a cell phone.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of
12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

I saw this earlier this morning and thought I would share. I hope you all are well and have a fantastic day!

Scott,
Zoe's Daddy
 

zoe4life

New member
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog while talking on a cell phone.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of
12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

I saw this earlier this morning and thought I would share. I hope you all are well and have a fantastic day!

Scott,
Zoe's Daddy
 

babimam

New member
THANKS !!!!!!!!! Really neeeded that today !! got to go to clinic to see if pa count is down. You made me laugh <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
I hope everyone has a wonderful day !!
 

babimam

New member
THANKS !!!!!!!!! Really neeeded that today !! got to go to clinic to see if pa count is down. You made me laugh <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
I hope everyone has a wonderful day !!
 

babimam

New member
THANKS !!!!!!!!! Really neeeded that today !! got to go to clinic to see if pa count is down. You made me laugh <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
I hope everyone has a wonderful day !!
 

zoe4life

New member
You're welcome! Another one..

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the
breeding bull exhibit. They went up to the first pen and there
was a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year."

The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "See
He mated 50 times last year? ... once-a-week."

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that
said, "This bull mated 120 times last year."

The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more
than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that
said, in capital letters, "THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR."

The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's
ribs, said, that's once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from
this one."

The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it
was with the same cow."
 

zoe4life

New member
You're welcome! Another one..

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the
breeding bull exhibit. They went up to the first pen and there
was a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year."

The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "See
He mated 50 times last year? ... once-a-week."

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that
said, "This bull mated 120 times last year."

The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more
than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that
said, in capital letters, "THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR."

The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's
ribs, said, that's once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from
this one."

The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it
was with the same cow."
 

zoe4life

New member
You're welcome! Another one..

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the
breeding bull exhibit. They went up to the first pen and there
was a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year."

The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "See
He mated 50 times last year? ... once-a-week."

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that
said, "This bull mated 120 times last year."

The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more
than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that
said, in capital letters, "THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR."

The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's
ribs, said, that's once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from
this one."

The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it
was with the same cow."
 

zoe4life

New member
Another...

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
 

zoe4life

New member
Another...

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
 

zoe4life

New member
Another...

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
 
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