I have CF, OCD, and Depression help me

[alexloveslife]

I am 17 my name is Alex and I was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis when I was 4 months old. All I do is take medication that I don't want to take, do treatments that take to long to do ( I hate sitting still for to long) and I just hate that I was dealt one of the worst hand of cards in the world. I also suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ( OCD for short) and I'm always thinking about when I'll die. I also have depression and I always feel mad at everyone and I'm jealous that everyone besides me can go on living life like a normal teenager, like this is so unfair. Why did God have to do this to me, and many others like myself. I'm just so mad and confused at the way the world works. I just want to be able to be free, just for one day from all of this, the Cystic Fibrosis, the OCD, the depression, I feel like a prisoner in my own body, just waiting to be set free, but also knowing that that day may never come for me.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif" border="0">

 

[alexloveslife]

I am 17 my name is Alex and I was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis when I was 4 months old. All I do is take medication that I don't want to take, do treatments that take to long to do ( I hate sitting still for to long) and I just hate that I was dealt one of the worst hand of cards in the world. I also suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ( OCD for short) and I'm always thinking about when I'll die. I also have depression and I always feel mad at everyone and I'm jealous that everyone besides me can go on living life like a normal teenager, like this is so unfair. Why did God have to do this to me, and many others like myself. I'm just so mad and confused at the way the world works. I just want to be able to be free, just for one day from all of this, the Cystic Fibrosis, the OCD, the depression, I feel like a prisoner in my own body, just waiting to be set free, but also knowing that that day may never come for me.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif" border="0">

 

[alexloveslife]

I am 17 my name is Alex and I was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis when I was 4 months old. All I do is take medication that I don't want to take, do treatments that take to long to do ( I hate sitting still for to long) and I just hate that I was dealt one of the worst hand of cards in the world. I also suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ( OCD for short) and I'm always thinking about when I'll die. I also have depression and I always feel mad at everyone and I'm jealous that everyone besides me can go on living life like a normal teenager, like this is so unfair. Why did God have to do this to me, and many others like myself. I'm just so mad and confused at the way the world works. I just want to be able to be free, just for one day from all of this, the Cystic Fibrosis, the OCD, the depression, I feel like a prisoner in my own body, just waiting to be set free, but also knowing that that day may never come for me.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif" border="0">

 

[Liza]

I noticed in the adults section that there seemed to be a problem with replying to your post. I will try and see if it works.

I rarely come to the teen section because I have always felt that it is for teens to reach out to one another and that they may not want a MOM to nose in.

As a mom though, I feel your struggles with all of this. It is a an unfair hand your and all CF'ers have been dealt. Your feelings of just wanting things to be "normal" if even for just one single day are normal feelings. I know there were times that I wished for my two girls that they could have a "normal" day like every other kid, where they didn't have to worry about taking meds and doing treatments. For the longest time I never questioned why this has happened but my oldest has. We are not extremely religous people but we do believe and believe in the power of prayer. It is what has helped at least me to cope with all that CF life has put us through. I do go to our priest and ask for his guidance and input on how I/we feel. At one time the question was put as to why God has allowed this to happen, why me, what did I do? What I see is that God has not allowed this to happen but that this suffering is evil at work and the good things are God fighting to make them better. Sometimes it is hard to see the good things but you have to look and you will see them.

On a more clinical thought, do you see anyone for your depression? I highly recommend seeing a professional. If you are not on anti-depressants maybe you need some but only a psychiatrist can prescribe and tell you if you will benefit from them or not.

As for your treatments. You hate sitting still for so long. Who says you have to sit still? While you are nebulizing, you can be on the computer, (here's mom talking) clean your room, exercise. Exercise... If you have a stationary bike or a trainer for your bike, you can pedal away while nebulizing. It's a good workout for your lungs and may help you breathe deeper thus getting the medication deeper. You don't have to go fast but you are moving.How about a Wii? You can play all sorts of games that require you to move. As for CPT, it depends on what you do. If you do the vest, like so many do today, I have no idea because I don't really know how it works but I would think you could Wii while vesting. If you use a mechanical percussor or manual percussion then you just have to sit/lay still for 30 min. and get it done. Flutter or pep? I think you could bike and flutter/pep at the same time, you just would have to pedal slowly and steadily.

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time. What do your parents say about your struggles? Do they know how you feel? How about your CF docs? Many young people go through a time like this, feeling what you are feeling whether it's CF, Diabetes or some other lifelong disease so you are not alone.

 

[Liza]

I noticed in the adults section that there seemed to be a problem with replying to your post. I will try and see if it works.

I rarely come to the teen section because I have always felt that it is for teens to reach out to one another and that they may not want a MOM to nose in.

As a mom though, I feel your struggles with all of this. It is a an unfair hand your and all CF'ers have been dealt. Your feelings of just wanting things to be "normal" if even for just one single day are normal feelings. I know there were times that I wished for my two girls that they could have a "normal" day like every other kid, where they didn't have to worry about taking meds and doing treatments. For the longest time I never questioned why this has happened but my oldest has. We are not extremely religous people but we do believe and believe in the power of prayer. It is what has helped at least me to cope with all that CF life has put us through. I do go to our priest and ask for his guidance and input on how I/we feel. At one time the question was put as to why God has allowed this to happen, why me, what did I do? What I see is that God has not allowed this to happen but that this suffering is evil at work and the good things are God fighting to make them better. Sometimes it is hard to see the good things but you have to look and you will see them.

On a more clinical thought, do you see anyone for your depression? I highly recommend seeing a professional. If you are not on anti-depressants maybe you need some but only a psychiatrist can prescribe and tell you if you will benefit from them or not.

As for your treatments. You hate sitting still for so long. Who says you have to sit still? While you are nebulizing, you can be on the computer, (here's mom talking) clean your room, exercise. Exercise... If you have a stationary bike or a trainer for your bike, you can pedal away while nebulizing. It's a good workout for your lungs and may help you breathe deeper thus getting the medication deeper. You don't have to go fast but you are moving.How about a Wii? You can play all sorts of games that require you to move. As for CPT, it depends on what you do. If you do the vest, like so many do today, I have no idea because I don't really know how it works but I would think you could Wii while vesting. If you use a mechanical percussor or manual percussion then you just have to sit/lay still for 30 min. and get it done. Flutter or pep? I think you could bike and flutter/pep at the same time, you just would have to pedal slowly and steadily.

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time. What do your parents say about your struggles? Do they know how you feel? How about your CF docs? Many young people go through a time like this, feeling what you are feeling whether it's CF, Diabetes or some other lifelong disease so you are not alone.

 

[Liza]

I noticed in the adults section that there seemed to be a problem with replying to your post. I will try and see if it works.
<br />
<br />I rarely come to the teen section because I have always felt that it is for teens to reach out to one another and that they may not want a MOM to nose in.
<br />
<br />As a mom though, I feel your struggles with all of this. It is a an unfair hand your and all CF'ers have been dealt. Your feelings of just wanting things to be "normal" if even for just one single day are normal feelings. I know there were times that I wished for my two girls that they could have a "normal" day like every other kid, where they didn't have to worry about taking meds and doing treatments. For the longest time I never questioned why this has happened but my oldest has. We are not extremely religous people but we do believe and believe in the power of prayer. It is what has helped at least me to cope with all that CF life has put us through. I do go to our priest and ask for his guidance and input on how I/we feel. At one time the question was put as to why God has allowed this to happen, why me, what did I do? What I see is that God has not allowed this to happen but that this suffering is evil at work and the good things are God fighting to make them better. Sometimes it is hard to see the good things but you have to look and you will see them.
<br />
<br />On a more clinical thought, do you see anyone for your depression? I highly recommend seeing a professional. If you are not on anti-depressants maybe you need some but only a psychiatrist can prescribe and tell you if you will benefit from them or not.
<br />
<br />As for your treatments. You hate sitting still for so long. Who says you have to sit still? While you are nebulizing, you can be on the computer, (here's mom talking) clean your room, exercise. Exercise... If you have a stationary bike or a trainer for your bike, you can pedal away while nebulizing. It's a good workout for your lungs and may help you breathe deeper thus getting the medication deeper. You don't have to go fast but you are moving.How about a Wii? You can play all sorts of games that require you to move. As for CPT, it depends on what you do. If you do the vest, like so many do today, I have no idea because I don't really know how it works but I would think you could Wii while vesting. If you use a mechanical percussor or manual percussion then you just have to sit/lay still for 30 min. and get it done. Flutter or pep? I think you could bike and flutter/pep at the same time, you just would have to pedal slowly and steadily.
<br />
<br />I am sorry you are having such a difficult time. What do your parents say about your struggles? Do they know how you feel? How about your CF docs? Many young people go through a time like this, feeling what you are feeling whether it's CF, Diabetes or some other lifelong disease so you are not alone.
<br />
<br />

 

[bethylove]

Hi Alex,

Sounds like you're in a rough spot right now. =\ I'm sending you a PM, and a virtual hug.
xoxo
Beth

 

[bethylove]

Hi Alex,

Sounds like you're in a rough spot right now. =\ I'm sending you a PM, and a virtual hug.
xoxo
Beth

 

[bethylove]

Hi Alex,
<br />
<br />Sounds like you're in a rough spot right now. =\ I'm sending you a PM, and a virtual hug.
<br />xoxo
<br />Beth

 

[NancyLKF]

Hi Alex:
I don't have CF, my daughter does, but I do have OCD as do most of my family members. I know what its like to not be able to get thoughts out of your head. Combine that with CF and I'm sure you are dealing with A LOT.
I've learned to sort of deal with my OCD through counseling and through religion. I now understand that there are so many things out of my control and obsessing about them and worrying constantly won't change any of that. So I worry about what I can do something about and then I do something about it. Like my daughter's health. I worry about it so I take the proper precautions, but don't let myself get "OCD" about it (most of the time). There's a bible quote that helps me with that: Matthew 6:25-34
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?... Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Life is one day at a time. Your friends may not have to do treatments but they probably take a lot of things - like their health for granted. And some may have struggles you can't see.
It is hard and unfair to be dealt a hand like CF. But everyone's life has a purpose and everything happens for a reason. I have always believed this. Your life has meaning, and good can come out of even the worst of events and circumstances.
I'm sounding preachy now so I'll stop. But in my OCD experienced opinion, I hope you can talk to a professional about your feelings. It helped me a great deal. Take care of yourself. and keep us posted on how you are doing please.

 

[NancyLKF]

Hi Alex:
I don't have CF, my daughter does, but I do have OCD as do most of my family members. I know what its like to not be able to get thoughts out of your head. Combine that with CF and I'm sure you are dealing with A LOT.
I've learned to sort of deal with my OCD through counseling and through religion. I now understand that there are so many things out of my control and obsessing about them and worrying constantly won't change any of that. So I worry about what I can do something about and then I do something about it. Like my daughter's health. I worry about it so I take the proper precautions, but don't let myself get "OCD" about it (most of the time). There's a bible quote that helps me with that: Matthew 6:25-34
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?... Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Life is one day at a time. Your friends may not have to do treatments but they probably take a lot of things - like their health for granted. And some may have struggles you can't see.
It is hard and unfair to be dealt a hand like CF. But everyone's life has a purpose and everything happens for a reason. I have always believed this. Your life has meaning, and good can come out of even the worst of events and circumstances.
I'm sounding preachy now so I'll stop. But in my OCD experienced opinion, I hope you can talk to a professional about your feelings. It helped me a great deal. Take care of yourself. and keep us posted on how you are doing please.

 

[NancyLKF]

Hi Alex:
<br />I don't have CF, my daughter does, but I do have OCD as do most of my family members. I know what its like to not be able to get thoughts out of your head. Combine that with CF and I'm sure you are dealing with A LOT.
<br />I've learned to sort of deal with my OCD through counseling and through religion. I now understand that there are so many things out of my control and obsessing about them and worrying constantly won't change any of that. So I worry about what I can do something about and then I do something about it. Like my daughter's health. I worry about it so I take the proper precautions, but don't let myself get "OCD" about it (most of the time). There's a bible quote that helps me with that: Matthew 6:25-34
<br />"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?... Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
<br />Life is one day at a time. Your friends may not have to do treatments but they probably take a lot of things - like their health for granted. And some may have struggles you can't see.
<br />It is hard and unfair to be dealt a hand like CF. But everyone's life has a purpose and everything happens for a reason. I have always believed this. Your life has meaning, and good can come out of even the worst of events and circumstances.
<br />I'm sounding preachy now so I'll stop. But in my OCD experienced opinion, I hope you can talk to a professional about your feelings. It helped me a great deal. Take care of yourself. and keep us posted on how you are doing please.
<br />

 

[DelilahSmith]

First, you are not alone in feeling the way that you do. My daughter is almost 17 & has CF & has the same thoughts that you do. She wonders why God has left her to deal with this deadly disease. She has learned from an early age that he took the stripes on his back & endured the pain for her disease as like yours. She also knows there is a reason for her suffering and that what the devil means for harm God will use for his glory. Somehow you will find your reason for your struggle unfortunately you just do not know it yet just like my daughter. You cannot lose site that his ways are not our ways and we do not know everything nor will we ever. You have to embody your existence & live everyday as if it were your last. We are not promised tomorrow and are not promised an easy existence. We all have our struggles that we must deal with just some seem more unfair than others. Quit focusing on your mortality and live your life to the fullest that you can. Being miserable is getting you no more happiness in your short existence so what do you have to lose by trying to focus on being happy & live your life without regret. I would give anything to trade places with my daughter but unfortunately, I can't. As her mother, I have to watch her struggle to survive & be happy with this illness & all it brings. You are not alone. Don't give up! Don't let this illness claim your happiness too.

 

[DelilahSmith]

First, you are not alone in feeling the way that you do. My daughter is almost 17 & has CF & has the same thoughts that you do. She wonders why God has left her to deal with this deadly disease. She has learned from an early age that he took the stripes on his back & endured the pain for her disease as like yours. She also knows there is a reason for her suffering and that what the devil means for harm God will use for his glory. Somehow you will find your reason for your struggle unfortunately you just do not know it yet just like my daughter. You cannot lose site that his ways are not our ways and we do not know everything nor will we ever. You have to embody your existence & live everyday as if it were your last. We are not promised tomorrow and are not promised an easy existence. We all have our struggles that we must deal with just some seem more unfair than others. Quit focusing on your mortality and live your life to the fullest that you can. Being miserable is getting you no more happiness in your short existence so what do you have to lose by trying to focus on being happy & live your life without regret. I would give anything to trade places with my daughter but unfortunately, I can't. As her mother, I have to watch her struggle to survive & be happy with this illness & all it brings. You are not alone. Don't give up! Don't let this illness claim your happiness too.

 

[DelilahSmith]

First, you are not alone in feeling the way that you do. My daughter is almost 17 & has CF & has the same thoughts that you do. She wonders why God has left her to deal with this deadly disease. She has learned from an early age that he took the stripes on his back & endured the pain for her disease as like yours. She also knows there is a reason for her suffering and that what the devil means for harm God will use for his glory. Somehow you will find your reason for your struggle unfortunately you just do not know it yet just like my daughter. You cannot lose site that his ways are not our ways and we do not know everything nor will we ever. You have to embody your existence & live everyday as if it were your last. We are not promised tomorrow and are not promised an easy existence. We all have our struggles that we must deal with just some seem more unfair than others. Quit focusing on your mortality and live your life to the fullest that you can. Being miserable is getting you no more happiness in your short existence so what do you have to lose by trying to focus on being happy & live your life without regret. I would give anything to trade places with my daughter but unfortunately, I can't. As her mother, I have to watch her struggle to survive & be happy with this illness & all it brings. You are not alone. Don't give up! Don't let this illness claim your happiness too.

 

[vgrego25]

hy
i have 20y and y have CF, but personnaly i have never be in situation like you!
at least not in psihological situation. i never thought why me?, why god allow this? and i do believe in God, but i personnaly think thats unnecessary to think that way!
U have to live whit what God gave you. good and bad. EVERYBODY have their own cross to carry!
i dont know your health situation but if you can still move and and do EXERCISE then you are lucky. You HAVE TO FIGHT!!
Y cant go anywhere whithout transportable oxigen! 24h on oxigen! so if you can still move well and do activities then you are lucky!!
as for the meds, they are boring but what you gotta do you gotta do!!
y hope you gonna be better!!
because it would be sad if you miss everything good that can happen to you because of that!

 

[vgrego25]

hy
i have 20y and y have CF, but personnaly i have never be in situation like you!
at least not in psihological situation. i never thought why me?, why god allow this? and i do believe in God, but i personnaly think thats unnecessary to think that way!
U have to live whit what God gave you. good and bad. EVERYBODY have their own cross to carry!
i dont know your health situation but if you can still move and and do EXERCISE then you are lucky. You HAVE TO FIGHT!!
Y cant go anywhere whithout transportable oxigen! 24h on oxigen! so if you can still move well and do activities then you are lucky!!
as for the meds, they are boring but what you gotta do you gotta do!!
y hope you gonna be better!!
because it would be sad if you miss everything good that can happen to you because of that!

 

[vgrego25]

hy
<br />i have 20y and y have CF, but personnaly i have never be in situation like you!
<br />at least not in psihological situation. i never thought why me?, why god allow this? and i do believe in God, but i personnaly think thats unnecessary to think that way!
<br />U have to live whit what God gave you. good and bad. EVERYBODY have their own cross to carry!
<br /> i dont know your health situation but if you can still move and and do EXERCISE then you are lucky. You HAVE TO FIGHT!!
<br />Y cant go anywhere whithout transportable oxigen! 24h on oxigen! so if you can still move well and do activities then you are lucky!!
<br />as for the meds, they are boring but what you gotta do you gotta do!!
<br /> y hope you gonna be better!!
<br />because it would be sad if you miss everything good that can happen to you because of that!
<br />
<br />