I need some help/advice- LONG POST!

julie

New member
Mark has always been a little stand offish on doing his CF meds. But when we met and got together, he "gave in" and started doing them. Upon my insistence he started going to the CF clinic again for 6 month follow ups, started his pancreatic enzymes again which he hadn't been on for at least 3-4 years and after we'd been together for about 3 years he got put on TOBI for the first time. He was very compliant with those TOBI uses the first few times they were prescribed, which was about 2x a year at the most.

When we moved to San Diego his compliance with going to the dr. faded initially but then we found a military doctor who took him on as his first CF patient. He LOVED this doctor and would see him monthly, not always for a full work up but at least so the doc. could lay eyes on him. Every few months he'd do a PFT and sputum sample, but not every time. The doc instructed him to take TOBI with some of his lung infections. He did the first time just fine, but then the subsequent times he'd do the TOBI for the first few days then slack off. I'd get on his case and he'd start again and it would go on like his all month. Great way to build resistance, I know.....

Then he got the vest about 2 years ago. Initially he loved it and used it everyday as recommended. 20 min in the am, 20 min in the PM. It is set for 2 ten minute intervals so that he can have a break to cough for a few minutes and then finish up the second ten minute stretch. Then same thing later in the day. He only rarely missed a treatment of the vest in those first few months.

After a while though, the novelty of it wore off (I guess????) and he would forget to use it throughout the day. Citing he was too busy with homework and the gym. I got frustrated, and reminded him of how important it was and that I'm not his mother but rather his wife and therefore will not lecture him or treat him like a child, but it's important he do his treatmetns and nobody needs to explain why to him. He's a big boy.

This would produce some coperation for a few weeks, then slacking off again. The same continued with his pulmozyme and TOBI use. It got worse when the doctor told him it was time to start taking TOBI every other month because of the lung infections. He didn't outright refuse to do it, but he would "forget", and therefore it wouldn't get done.

Fast forward to our move to WA in January of this year... his compliance has gone down the toilet really fast. We've even sat down a few times and talked about it. Because this really bothers me. When we got married, I made a committment to work to put him through school so he could focus on his studies and his health, we agreed he would not work for those reasons. And he made a committment to always take care of his CF "stuff" (Dr's appointments, chest PT, medications...). I've held up my end, but he hasn't.

And that's not the only reason why I care (simply because, "we made a deal"). I care because I love him so much and want him to do anything and everything to keep himself healthy. I want him to take care of himself, take his medications so he dosen't need a lung transplant (which by the way he is opposed to so the sooner his lungs dwindle, the sooner he'll be gone from this earth and from my life), and now that he's going to be a parent, I want him to be around for his kids lives as much as possible. Maybe we should have sorted this all out before we got pregnant, but we did talk and I was assured that if I simply reminded him everyday, that he would do it. I thought that was enough.

I love him so much and part of me always takes this personally. Am I not enough of a reason for him to do his meds and stay around for as long as possible? A 40 min committement to the vest everyday and 15-20 minutes to his TOBI isn't that much, especially since we spend 99% of our evening watching sticoms on TV. Do it then for petes sake!!!

So we talk and I explain how important it is to me. His excuse most of the time, "I forget, can you please remind me". So I remind him, and he says, "I'll do it in a bit, I'm busy now". And then he forgets. It goes on like this for a while and I give up. Then I get this newfound desire for him to do it (I never stop caring, but what am I going to do, force him and lecture him? NO) and we talk about it again, I remind him for weeks on end, he forgets or puts it off, and we maybe have one day of vest use and one day of pulmozyme in a 2 week period. Forget the TOBI, I've all but given up on trying to get him to use that because I don't want him to build a resistance from using it for a few days then off, then on for a few days then off....

Then a few weeks ago he leaves his waterbottle in the car for days and days at at time in the record WA heat. I asked him if he could start brining it in the house to put in the fridge, and that I should throw it in the dishwasher. He gets all offensive and asks why. I tell him, "because in this heat you are just harboring bacteria and mold in that waterbottle. I don't have CF and I NEVER leave my waterbottle in the car for days on end just because of the bacteria factor AND I wash my every so often". You know what he says to me??? "you aren't turning into one of those parinoid moms on the CF website are you?" (no offense meant to anyone, It's just that both he and I have seen posts on here from concerned parents an dit seems that they are preventing their kids from being kids because they have CF and we've discussed it.) I was insulted beyond belief. Here I am, trying to help and point out to him that he should bring it inside so I can wash it out for him, and bring it in everday and put it in the fridge so it's not in the heat to grow bacteria. I said nothing to him for the rest of this car ride.... But for some reason he started bringing the waterbottle in and even put it in the dishwasher for a wash. I thanked him for doing that.

Now that August has rolled around, we discussed that he would start his Pulmozyme and vest CONSISTENTLY this month. Well, he did it a few days ago, and he did 1/2 of 1 of his vest treatment today and his pulmozyme. Better than nothing I guess. But you know what I had to resort to? He started to get ready for bed and I said (after reminding him 4 times already earlier this afternoon to put his vest on while watching TV/playing on the internet, and start his Pulmozyme at the same time), "you promised that this month you would do your vest as prescribed AND do your pulmozyme. Neither of us are going to bed until you do it". He looked at the clock and said, "but it's midnight" and I said, "I don't care, you promised so neither of us are going to bed until it's done". I feel like a mother disciplining a bad kid. I'M NOT HIS MOTHER, I'M HIS WIFE AND I'D LIKE TO SIMPLY BE HIS WIFE, NOT THE KEEPER OF HIS RESPONSIBILITIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So he does 10 minutes of it and I say, "honey, you know.... you are suppose to just take a break and then do another 10 minutes. It's a 20 minute treatment". (not condescenting but rather trying to be informative, remind him since it's been a while since he last used the vest) And he said, "so 40 minutes a day!!!!!" (like it's an outrageous amount of time or something) and I said yes. He told me he'll start tomorrow. I won't hold my breath.

Then tonight he left the nebulizer cup just laying on the couch. I grabbed it and was trying to unhook it (had some other things in my hand) and he looked at me funny. I said to him, "honey, you cant just leave this here like this, "you have to wash it out and clean it after every use so you don't get sick". And you know what he said to me... AGAIN???? "You aren't turning into one of those paranoid mothers from the CF board are you?" Now, I have NEVER raised a had to my husband, nor he to me. But I seriously felt like smackig him right across the face. I didn't, and I would't dare, but HOW DARE HIM. he just pulled this comment a few weeks ago and we rode in silence for the rest of the car ride. Quite a few days later I told him how offensive it had been to me. That I am not his mother but rather his wife, and I am not paranoid. Paranoid would be like telling him he can't go to the gym because there are germs there, and that he can't see his nephews because little kids have germs and get sick....or disinfecting every inch of our house every single day, to me, that would be paranoid. And that I only remind him of these things, or ask him because I truely care about him and his health. He didn't apologize, but seemed to understand that it really hurt my feelings.

So he says it again tonight to me. I told him that he could go to bed all by himself. He asked why and I told him we better not talk right now because I might say something I don't mean or haven't though on.... He's upstairs and I"m here, typing this to all of you.

It's much longer than I anticipated it would be. But I need some advice. What do I do? I care about him, I want him to do his treatments and YES, I do take it personally that he doesn't do them/take them seriously. I don't dare discuss this with his family because they'll just nag him and that will make him NOT do it at all (for all of you who think I'm opinionated and strong willed LOL...Mark is a sweet mild tempered easy to get along with guy, but push one of his very few buttons- and this is one of them, and it's like night and day).

How do I get him to do his treatmetns without nagging him. I know he KNOWS the importance of doing these things, but how do I reinterate it to him without lecturing him or boring him or sounding like his mother. What if he never does regularly do his treatments like he's suppose to? Is that fair to me? (I personally don't think so but I'm also very emotional right now period, and now very upset about this situaiton). I married a man with CF yes, and I don't dwell on that whatsoever. But he made a promise to me that he would take care of himself and do his meds and treatmetns, and he's NOT. What do I do?????
 

Jane

Digital opinion leader
Oh Julie how frustrating! He sounds like my 15 yr old son Josh. I hate nagging too and it always makes things worse. In a few weeks you're not going to have time to nag anyway. And when the babies come, its going to be harder to fit his treatments in because you're both going to be exhausted!

Mark has to realize that you and the babies need him to be as healthy as possible. What about a counselor? Of course if he doesn't like going to doctors, he probably won't go there either.

A while back I posted this same question about Josh. I got a lot of advice, but most seemed unrealistic to someone who is non-compliant. Like, "have his doctor explain how important his treatments are". I laughed at that one. There is obviously more going on than he just doesn't know its important.

Try to not take it personally Julie (hard to do, I know). I'm sure he's not seeing it as hurting you, even though it is. I wish I had an answer.
 

JazzysMom

New member
Julie I dont really have a lot of advice for you. What I can tell you is that I was & can still be very much like Mark. In 2000 when I had to stop working because of my health I swore I would take better care of myself if nothing else for Jazmine. That mind set only worked until I felt better than I slacked off again. I still do it, but because I feel the results immediately I dont do it as much. My husband is a smoker (no lectures please since we all know its a touchy subject). He use to smoke in the kitchen with the window/door open. When I got really sick last year (partly because of my incompliance), we agreed that he would smoke outside & I would hold up my end by doing my treatments faithfully. I have had slacked on them, but thankfully he still holds up his end of the deal. It is so easy to say that 40 minutes on the vest or 15 minutes of nebs is nothing compared to the time in front of the tv. No its not really a lot of time, but when in the wrong frame of mind its an eternity. I am quite surprised by this whole posting since my impression was that he worked very hard at maintaining his health. It also concerns me greatly because of the babies on the way. Not that having one as I do shouldnt be reason enough to whip his ass into compliance, but three the same age is a whole other ballgame. From my experience lecturing & nagging dont work. It might for short term as you have seen & than it blows over. I would just present the hard, cold facts. You have 3 babies enroute & when you went into this pregnancy, you were under the assumption (I hope) that he would give it his all to take care of himself & be not just "around", but be as healthy as possible for the kids. Sadly its up to him. Maybe remind him of what Allie & Ahava have gone thru & that is not from RY's lack of care. I hate to use that card, but for me its a cruel reality card that needs to be played once in a while. Reality check! He might be feeling overwhelmed & doesnt know how else to handle things, but given this isnt new I am not sure about it. Good Luck Julie & I hope you can overcome this dilemma.
 

dramamama

New member
Hi Julie-<br>
I am saddened by this news.....I don't ever talk to you online, but
your family is often in my thoughts and prayers.  Do you think
that Mark might be depressed????  Sometimes non-compliance can
come from depression.  I know when my brother passed away
(unexpectedly-no cf) I knew I had to stay healthy.....I am the only
other child.   It has almost been one year and I feel the
blanket of sadness now more than ever....and strangely, while I
know I need to take care of myself...I find that I am not working
out as much.  I never miss treatment/vest, but my overall care
is less.  Could he possibly be struggling with the
illness/babies/uncertain future?  <br>
<br>
I wish I had some words of wisdom...but, as everyone else has said,
it has to come from within.  My guess is that if he doesn't
start taking care of himself, when the babies come he will get
sick.....and that may be the kick in the butt that he needs.
 Sometimes with this illness, a cfer needs to have the crap
scared out of him/her.<br>
<br>
I'm sorry you are struggling with this right now.<br>
mandy
 

julie

New member
Mel,

He "takes care of himself" in the sense that he goes to the gym, eats right and maintains his weight. In the past, weight was always a big issue for him, and since he's been focusing on keeping it up, he's been doing better all around healthwise. But he still needs to take care of his lungs. To me, it seems that he thinks he's doing enough by working on his digestive problems.

I'm very proud of him that he works so hard, he's in the gym at least 5 times a week, and I support him 100% on that. But there are other aspects of his CF that have come into play in the last few years and he says he'll work on them, and then he doesn't.

i'm going to finish reading the rest of the responses.....
 

julie

New member
Thanks for the support everyone. I think I'll just leave it alone for now. I was tempted to throw out all his meds and such this AM to prove a point but there's no sense in acting like a child about it.

I'm just going to back off (the best I can) and let him deal with it.


Thanks so much,
 

EnergyGal

New member
I totally agree with Mandy Dramamama. I was thinking the same thing that he might be depressed but big time denial. If he thinks that body building is his only answer to fighting CF he is mistaken. Maybe right now he can maintain his health with eating properly and working out but there is a fine line between body building and being able to really succeed with your cf without treatments.

He should treat his cf treatments like his passion for working out and he would probably be much healthier or at least his immune system would be even stronger for when the babies arrive.

I was also thinking of the aspect of when the babies get sick if he is slacking off the babies germs will be something that will be hard for him to fight off even though he looks strong and healthy. CF is often silent in its defense and if you do not nuture your health the attack can be fierce so I say back off on reminding him and he will have to face the problems of his cf head on. I am suprised that he does not appreciate your care that you give him about his health.

I know once he gets a scare of cf he will start taking control. The same energy that he uses to fight you with will be the same energy that he fights cf with. There is plenty of time for him.

I doubt very much that if he was elligible for a transplant that he would turn down an opportunity to breathe amazingly well and workout like he never has before in his life. He just does not understand and fear is factor in denial. Sorry but he has not walked that line fortunately yet. Never say never.

If I were you Julie, take care of yourself and ask him to do more for you to help you. when he is so exhausted he will see the need to do more for himself. It will all workout pardon the pun.lol
 

EnergyGal

New member
Mark might respond to reverse psychology. Ignore his need for treatments focus on yourself and he will miss the aspect that you care so much about his health.

When the babies arrive men usually feel neglected because you are giving so much of your attention to the babies so he is going to be in for a rude awakening and he will probably find an excuse to do his treatments. He will want to maintain his health and he will find a way to do his treatments. If he still does not do his treatments then talk to his doctor.
 

sue35

New member
Has he ever had a very serious sickness time? I know it sucks but sometimes that is what it takes to start doing the medicine. I know that I was the exact same way as Mark because I didn't realize how bad it could get.

Even now, I think it's a big thing of "well I feel ok, so I am just lazy and don't want to do my meds now" This is still what I do. I think you did the right thing about not going to bed until he does it but he has to learn that he needs to take responsibility. But there is little that you can do to make him see that.

As for maintaining weight and such, I always did that also because that is what "shows" to the public. It makes me feel good to look healthy and fit and as for the other stuff, it just isn't important. I know this is TOTALLY wrong but sometimes it is just what I think.

Good luck and I really admire all you are trying to do for him.
 

NoExcuses

New member
yikes. I'm sorry to hear of your troubles.

perhaps letting him know that he has 3 children to live for (taking the focus off of you) and it's his responsibility as a father to care for himself. Kids need their fathers and he will live longer if he does his meds!
 

Chill4291

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>karenb</b></i>

I believe there is nothing you can say or do to make him do anything more for his health. It has to come from within.
Good luck</end quote></div>

I think that sums it up. Just tell him it bothers you, but nagging will not make him want to do it, it will only put stress on the relationship. On the bright side, he's going to the gym and getting a workout in, which is probably just as good. (I'm sure someones going ot need to argue that but what ever)

p.s. congratulations on your appeal win.
 

Emily65Roses

New member
Okay, there are several facets to this problem, some of which contradict the others, but I'm going to try and address them all.

For one, his skipping meds, while irresponsible and several other negative adjectives, in essence, does not reflect on you. I understand that it's an initial reaction to think that it does, and I understand even why you'd think so. But it's not. In the end, it is each CFer's decision what to do about their own health, and you can't really <i>force</i> us to do anything.

Having said that, Mark is being incredibly irresponsible. If it was just himself he was worrying about, I'd say it's his life, his decision, if he wants to kill himself, that's his business. BUT he is a married man now, with <u>THREE</u> children on the way. He can't just do what he wants to do now. Being a husband and father requires a hell of a lot more responsibility than he's currently showing. And yes, it's too late to "take them back" (husband + father), but that doesn't mean he can just decide to be a lazy *ss and not worry about his family.

That and, you're right, it's not your responsibility to be his mother. We can all be pains about our meds and treatments sometimes. Every now and again, Mike needs to remind me of something, or give me just a little push. But my god, if he had the kind of trouble you're having with Mark, he'd be screaming at me.

As for how to get him to do any of what he should be doing, I really, unfortunately, don't have any ideas. Except maybe tell him how incredibly selfish and irresponsible (feel free to fill in any other adjectives that come to mind... lazy, etc) he's being, and that he had better shape the hell up, because he's got CHILDREN coming soon. If you can't seem to convince him for you, be sure to "remind" him that he has three kids coming (like he could forget? I imagine it's pretty obvious just by looking at you now haha), and that if he doesn't start to get his sh*t back together, then he's already on his way to being a terrible father. Harsh words, but I can't say I see them as incorrect if he's not doing his meds. HE'S NOT EVEN WORKING!!!!!! Yes he has school, but with school alone, he can't POSSIBLY be too busy for meds. You can do homework and meds at the same time, I've done it thousands of times. He's just being lazy and annoying.

Also, like you said, if he's really that strongly against lung tx... Which I have nothing against, it is each person's decision... but if he really won't ever consider it, he needs to keep the pair he's got for as long as possible. Neglecting his health now, and then citing later that "I don't want a tx" won't really fly. In order for the "no tx" thing to go over all right, it needs to be preceded by good care up until they fall apart. If he goes with the lazy route, and then chooses no tx, he's being irresponsible and lazy and horrible. Again, if it was just him, I'd say hell, it's his life, let him do whatever he wants. BUT IT IS NOT JUST HIM. IT'S NOT EVEN JUST HIM AND YOU ANYMORE.

I don't know that I have anything useful to say, anything you can actually use, or try, I'm just really pissed off. HE'S NOT EVEN WORKING!!!!! And he's still in good enough health that he <b>could</b> be working. At this point, it seriously just sounds like he's being lazy.

I don't know. Three kids on the way. THREE KIDS ON THE WAY, GET OFF YOUR *SS AND STOP BEING AN IRRESPONSIBLE CHILD!!!!! Kay I'm done.
 

thelizardqueen

New member
I've been where Mark is, as I think most CFers have. Sometimes it is such a pain (in our minds) to do treatments all the time. From experience, I know that you can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do. That will only make him more resistant I think. He has to want to do this for him, and only him I think - because its his body, his life. I'll also repeat what others have said - if he won't try for you, remind him that he's got three babies coming soon, and that if he doesn't shape up, he won't be around to see them grow up. I know what scared me into doing my treatments on a regular basis was when I got really sick once, and I was terrified that this was the beginning of the end. Maybe that's something he needs (sorry to say), but a good scare is one h*ck of a motivator. But like others have said - if he doesn't believe in lung transplant, and he's not taking care of himself, then realistically, how long does he picture himself being around? He's got a wife now, AND 3 babies on the way. Its not just about him now.
 

Allie

New member
Hm, about the first point, have considered hooking him up with a pulmonologist again? Ry liked it much more than clinic, and it seems Mark's experiences were similar. Maybe that would help him visit more often, if the care felt more personal.

The vest thing. Ry used the vest, but didn't like it as much as CPT. Since I gave it to him, it pretty much always got done. Maybe Mark would be open to that? Or if he prefers the vest, you could still use the time as 'together time"? That was our time together everyday, come hell or high water, and that helped motivate him.

If he hasn't held up his end of the deal, I would present him with a bill for services redered. He did school, so there's half of his half. Maybe present him with 1/4 of the bills for all this time, and tell him he owes you. You have done all you were supposed to.

On the tx thing, he has always always been up front with you about that, so you cannot fault him. People act like, especially in CF culture, that tx is always a wonderful fairy story, you can bike Europe, race marathons, and life will be perfect. Tx has a lot of downsides, and if Mark feels it's not for him, for God's sake, support him, he'll get enough BS from other people and CFers. He needs you.

I know it's hard not to take all of it personally, but it's not about you, it's about him. Where he is mentally right now, how he feels about doing it. He loves you, but that doesn't mean people will always be compliant. I would just back off, and let him go. If you feel the need to comment, be iffhandedly and casually sarcastic, not dramatic, like when he calls you a CF mom, tell him he reminds you of the stupid CF teenagers that throw tantrums about thier meds. Or you can use me. Tell him you're going to talk to Allie about what it's like to have your husband die, you figure you can use the info.

best I have right now...
 

katyf13

New member
I hear where you are coming from! Mike's in a much different place in his progression so sometimes he is legitimately too tired to do his treatments and lately chest pt just makes him throw up. But on his good days, he doesn't want to waste the time he has doing treatments. Which I understand. But if we are just sitting around, I push him to do his nebs. I definitly don't have to do it every day, he is motivated enough some days. I try not to "nag" but just remind him how much it would suck if he got an infection and got "the call" and they wouldn't transplant him because of it.
Or I jokingly threat to stop taking my anxiety meds (which I'm on because of the transplant) and go crazy and and become the town kook, standing on the side of the road, with an open umbrella, asking people for rides. (we actually have one of those, I saw her today) Perhaps you can remind him of ALL the prenatal care you do!! And ALL the stuff you had to do to get pregnant!!!
 

NoExcuses

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>
. Or you can use me. Tell him you're going to talk to Allie about what it's like to have your husband die, you figure you can use the info.

.</end quote></div>

you rock allie! that is a great line!!!!!
 

JennifersHope

New member
Hey Julie,

I am sorry that you are so frustrated.. I don't have a clue what to say to Mark because I am exactly like him.. except I don't forget to do the treatments, I am just to lazy to do them sometimes.

I don't think it is personal that Mark isn't doing them. I think it is normal for a lot of people... and I really hate to say this, really I do, but with three newborn babies coming the chances of Mark being compliant are going to drop even more because now he is going to be tired and worn out from the babies as well.

He is going to have to make a schedule and stick to it somehow... I know I should be more compliant.. but there isn't nothing on this earth that is going to make me be but me... Certainly not guilt or anything else from my parents or friends or doctors would make me do it.. I don't have control over anything.. doing my treatments is the one thing I can control so maybe that is why I don't do it.

WHo knows..

Hope you get things straightened out..

Love

Jennifer
 

bmombtoo

New member
Put the focus back on yourself and your babies. While it is
difficult to watch Mark struggle, he doesn't have to do any of the
work in taking care of himself if you do it for him. Not a
criticism, but a fact. My husband is just hitting one year
remission from testicular cancer and has been depressed. As
difficult as it is to watch, I have learned not to take it
personally; it is not about me....it's his stuff. When you can
detach enough, not blow up at him, tell him how you feel about it,
I statements. the Rest is up to him. A good book to read is the
Dance of Anger by Harriett Lerner. As silly as this may sound,
AlAnon may be helpful to keep you sane, or a counselor even if he
doesn't go. Mark will learn to take better care of his health or he
won't. He'll have a better chance at learning to take care of
himself if you stop taking care of him. I'm not criticizing you at
all, I lost my first husband to cancer, and my second husband is in
remission. I've been in counseling it seems like forever but I have
learned to take care of myself.<br>
Sorry, to ramble, I get a little caught up my disertation from time
to time. LOL
 

julie

New member
Thanks for the advice and recommendations. I think what might serve he and I is if I back of of reminding him, just simply ask on occasion and leave it at that. I love him beyond words and I would do anything for him, I would give my life if that was needed. But you are all right... I can't make him do something he's not interested or committed to doing.

He know's I'm upset by it, he knows that I want him to do it, he knows that I think it's important, he knows that he has 3 babies on the way. I don't know what the problem is. He's watching TV right now and I'm on the computer. I just asked him if he did his meds today and he said, "no, I'll do them later". I know he won't. It's so hard not to get upset about it. And not to sound conceeded but I have so much to worry about right now. I'm having a lot of contractions, I'm worried about my own weight because my appetite is still not back to 100% after the meds I've been on for preterm labor, the babies are weighing a bit below average (the identicals) and I feel guilty because of the weight, I can't get comfortable.... I don't HAVE TIME to keep reminding him to do his meds. It's not fair to me.

And Emily, you are right too. He's in school right now and it's not keeping him all that busy. He use to work full time 7-5 M-F and then on Saturdays too and he did his meds and went to the gym. Granted, we are spending a lot of time going to the doctor (it's 1hr drive each way from our house, and my appointments last 3-5 hours every week, sometimes twice a week) but I'm setting it up with my parents to try and have us go over there for dinner so he doesn't have to cook and he can do the meds before or after the dr.s appointment. I think he's just got use to having a really lax life.... school is hard and busy-sure, but not as much work lately as it has been. He's not a lazy guy, except when it comes to these medications.

And I didn't mention earlier but Allie brought it up and she's right. I knew from day one that Mark was against a transplant. He has his reasons, and although I don't agree with his reasons, he did make it clear from the beginning that's where he stood and I told him that I wish he didn't feel that way, but that regardless I still loved him and I still wanted to be with him. So he didn't just change that out of the blue in case I made it sound that way. I've known since the beginning.

Thanks again for the recommendations and reinforcement and support. I truely appreciate it.
 
Top