I'm not a normal teenage guy

[Enzo2311]

I swear I'm not normal. I feel like I'm an "old soul", literally. I have traditional values, I find women back in the 30s-50s era the most beautiful, and I hate how women dress slutty and have piercings. I even hate ear piercings. The thing that makes me most abnormal, is I don't really think about sex, and I really only want a girlfriend so I can have a companion, not for sex or anything like that. If I didn't have cf I'd love to live in the 30s and 40s era. I also hate saying that women are "hot", instead I prefer the words pretty and beautiful.

But here's where my main question comes in, I have cf, I rarely ever think about sex, and I don't really crave it like guys are supposed to, and I don't get physically aroused when I look at a beautiful girl. I do masturbate a lot, but I have a hard time "performing". The thought of sex terrifies me and I kinda maybe think that the ****** (if it gets blocked, the woman area down there) is sorta gross looking. My friends joke around with me saying I'll be the 40 year old virgin cause I'm almost 19 and that thought doesn't really bother me. The only thought that bothers me is not having kids. That's something I want so desperately by the hopeful age of 21 or so (it's always been that age lol, when I was younger I told my mom I want kids by then cause I figured I'd die at an early age due to cf and I have to make sure my kids have a lot of time with their grandparents cause my parents had me later in their life, my dad was 36 and my mom was 34 I believe, give or take a year).

So here's the real question, am I like this because I have CF? Any other people out there who are weird like me?

 

[iefisherman]

Cf doesn't make you like this. But it makes people like me, like this. We are all different, but theres a good chance you can find people like you on here. There maybe something to the sex drive with the knowledge of infertility at a young age. It is what it is i guess.

 

[welshwitch]

Yeah, none of this sounds CF related at all. I'm thinking maybe a counselor or therapist (one who specializes in sexuality) would be helpful to figure out what's going on?

 

[baseballfrank]

No it doesn't have anything to do with CF. The obvious question that comes to mind is if you aren't aroused by women, do you feel aroused by men? Nothing weird about it, just need to figure it out for yourself.

 

[Enzo2311]

No it doesn't have anything to do with CF. The obvious question that comes to mind is if you aren't aroused by women, do you feel aroused by men? Nothing weird about it, just need to figure it out for yourself.

i feel arouaed with women. But I feel "mentally" Aroused. I've never had a physical arousal toward anyone by just looking.

 

[LittleLab4CF]

Actually, CF impacts all stress hormone glands and testosterone production is supercharged by CF. This can lead to slower sexual development because of the body’s high demand and early burnout because of the stress of CF. An equivalent situation happens with women, robbing them of their testosterone analogues.

Enzo,

From what I can tell you think of sex frequently, lots of questions and such, so that's normal. You are a conservative young man, raised by conservative parents in a conservative State. Don't take this wrong, but you are somewhat immature in certain ways. I think it might be natural consequence of needing more attention than healthier kids. Your parents like many are divorced. Single parenting is a different relationship with a child than parenting by two. When you factor in CF and you are “momma’s” boy. Devoted to you, she holds a job that includes insurance as a benefit and she can’t afford to have you get sick financially or mentally. I am guessing you have been sheltered more than other kids your age and as a result, you are blooming late. Take your time growing up but don’t forget that is your goal. It may be inconceivable to imagine but your parent’s were sexually charged kids looking for romance and lusting after tight, but that’s a discussion for another time.

Like you, my very conservative parents dominated me and everything they said was gospel. Speaking of which, you have grown up in a church, gone to Sunday school and probably took Catechism and have been confirmed. You have an ideal girl in mind, you might find her in youth activities tied with your church or another church that has a large youth program. You may not feel so freaky or fear all others are. Maybe not all that but I grew up in the fifties/sixties and this is what I did. And to be frank, in spite of my being pretty smart, I was totally clueless when it came to a girlfriend. In some ways I was quite mature at your age but sexually and socially naive.


I wasn't sexually active until my second year of college. In fact the standards at the time pretty well fit where most young women and many men were technically virgins when they married. The relationships that may develop in high school today were just postponed by two to four years. Whether it is a time, place or just who you are, all of this sounds pretty natural for you. As another contributor pointed out, you may find many other kids just like you on this forum.


The transition from dependent to adult is happening slower for you. From the responses I've read, young women appreciate your situation so who knows, a sweet, conservative young lady is hoping to find a guy like you. Sex is like money, when you have plenty you don't complain about it. When you are not quite ready, start in earnest to develop relationships with girls so by the time you are ready, you will have made all the necessary mistakes.


Sexual hazing has reached a new low. Just the three or four girls who made the mistake of not murdering their first and loudmouth lovers got the constant slut crap when I was in high school. “Now Enzo, got your "V" card still?” Boys and girls today have the opposite problem of my youth. You’re only solid when you have a score card and girls tease others for being inexperienced. Drop that word "slutty" or slut, these are terms you don't even use to describe somebody who actually is one. That's respecting young women who like you don't quite have this male/female relationship stuff down. They are just as confused and fascinated by sex as you are.


I'll repeat my usual advice. Have your testosterone levels checked. Your lack of testosterone easily could be behind your timid attitude toward asking for the test. In other words you may need T even more if you cannot ask for this test. You always eliminate physical reasons first and male CFers gobble up testosterone as a stress hormone to fight CF. We burn out T production young. This was missed on me and if I have anything I am really angry at my doctors for missing, it was this. I was toast by my late thirties, capable of sex but no drive. I feel like I let my wife down in part because my doctor was certain I couldn't burn out so young. Don't make that mistake. If you have an organic problem, a physical issue, testosterone isn’t something bad. A healthy testosterone level is especially important for you at this age and as long as possible from here on.

Don’t be afraid, girls are fascinating people. If you really want a catch, show your genuine interest in one, ask all about her interests and ideas. Try to understand her heart. There is a far richer reward when you take the risk of a relationship with a girl first. Sex is not just sex for you and hopefully that is a quality. If sex feels wrong or bad, you might want to talk this one through with a counselor. It doesn’t usually take much but if this is an issue, treat it like any other health problem to resolve and get it taken care of with a doctor’s help.

LL