IS THIS JUST A PHASE?

[smudge18]

Hi Everyone outhere,

Just wanting some advise! I met my soulmate ten years ago who has cf(he's now 24). We are so crazy in love everything was perfect! We bought a house last summer and its gorgeous. My bf has mild cf, it has never bothered me i love him unconditionally.A few months before xmas he got a little ill and had to go on a nebulizer, ever since this he hasn't been the same. He became distant and one night started crying in bed asking no matter what happens would i get burried with him. I tried my best to be there for him but he wouldn't talk etc. At xmas he said he was leaving me, i was soooooo heart broken , we are ment for each other it doesn't make sense. He said he couldn't put me through watching him drown in his own phylem and who would look after me when he'd gone. He also said he knew i loved kids and couldn't give me them and it was unfair to me. Are these thoughts normal to people with cf? Is it just a stage he's going through? I explained that i wasn't bothered about having kids and i would rather spand x years with him than none at all! Its my choice.

He doesn't even contact me now, he lives in our house and it isn't for sale. Im so hurt all i eva did was love and take care of him. He said he loves me to bits and im perfect. Just don't understand how it all went so wrong.

Im still paying for the house and im hoping with a little time and space he will see sense. Every1 telling me to move on but i love him so much and want to be there for him, I just don't Know what to do for the best.

Sorry for going on, just wondered if others have pushed loved ones away due to cf

Thanks for listening!

 

[smudge18]

Hi Everyone outhere,

Just wanting some advise! I met my soulmate ten years ago who has cf(he's now 24). We are so crazy in love everything was perfect! We bought a house last summer and its gorgeous. My bf has mild cf, it has never bothered me i love him unconditionally.A few months before xmas he got a little ill and had to go on a nebulizer, ever since this he hasn't been the same. He became distant and one night started crying in bed asking no matter what happens would i get burried with him. I tried my best to be there for him but he wouldn't talk etc. At xmas he said he was leaving me, i was soooooo heart broken , we are ment for each other it doesn't make sense. He said he couldn't put me through watching him drown in his own phylem and who would look after me when he'd gone. He also said he knew i loved kids and couldn't give me them and it was unfair to me. Are these thoughts normal to people with cf? Is it just a stage he's going through? I explained that i wasn't bothered about having kids and i would rather spand x years with him than none at all! Its my choice.

He doesn't even contact me now, he lives in our house and it isn't for sale. Im so hurt all i eva did was love and take care of him. He said he loves me to bits and im perfect. Just don't understand how it all went so wrong.

Im still paying for the house and im hoping with a little time and space he will see sense. Every1 telling me to move on but i love him so much and want to be there for him, I just don't Know what to do for the best.

Sorry for going on, just wondered if others have pushed loved ones away due to cf

Thanks for listening!

 

[smudge18]

Hi Everyone outhere,

Just wanting some advise! I met my soulmate ten years ago who has cf(he's now 24). We are so crazy in love everything was perfect! We bought a house last summer and its gorgeous. My bf has mild cf, it has never bothered me i love him unconditionally.A few months before xmas he got a little ill and had to go on a nebulizer, ever since this he hasn't been the same. He became distant and one night started crying in bed asking no matter what happens would i get burried with him. I tried my best to be there for him but he wouldn't talk etc. At xmas he said he was leaving me, i was soooooo heart broken , we are ment for each other it doesn't make sense. He said he couldn't put me through watching him drown in his own phylem and who would look after me when he'd gone. He also said he knew i loved kids and couldn't give me them and it was unfair to me. Are these thoughts normal to people with cf? Is it just a stage he's going through? I explained that i wasn't bothered about having kids and i would rather spand x years with him than none at all! Its my choice.

He doesn't even contact me now, he lives in our house and it isn't for sale. Im so hurt all i eva did was love and take care of him. He said he loves me to bits and im perfect. Just don't understand how it all went so wrong.

Im still paying for the house and im hoping with a little time and space he will see sense. Every1 telling me to move on but i love him so much and want to be there for him, I just don't Know what to do for the best.

Sorry for going on, just wondered if others have pushed loved ones away due to cf

Thanks for listening!

 

[lightNlife]

Yes, that's all normal. I'm sorry you're so heartbroken. It's hard to be with someone that long and then have it all torn out from under you.

It sounds as though he's only just now coming to terms with what it means to have CF, and all the implications of it. If he's just now getting started with a nebulizer and he's already 24, then I'm willing to bet that he hasn't really had to deal with a whole lot of the major challenges of the disease.

From what you described as the reasons he's giving you for 'pushing you away' as you said, the underlying reason to his questions may be that he's testing you to see what you're made of. As often happens in a case like this, a person will push and push and push, giving all sorts of reasons why the other person shouldn't stay with them. Eventually, the person may in fact leave, resulting in the person who pushed them away to say "see, I told you so. You never really loved me anyway." It's sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy that way.

You are going to hurt, and his behavior is going to be hard to take. This may or may not resolve itself.

You've mentioned that you've known each other for 10 years. Needless to say, a lot can happen in 10 years as people grow and mature. You've already invested a lot in this relationship, and that's probably why you want to just give it some time and see what happens. I'm going to have to agree with 'every1 telling you to move out." If he doesn't respect you enough after 10 years to know that he can share his fears and concerns with you, then he is not loving you as you deserved to be loved.

His pushing you away has less to do with having CF than it does with having an immature relationship (just based on what you described of the situation.) Please, don't be a rescuer. Respect yourself enough to not be tied down to someone who isn't willing to share everything with you. I know it's hard, but for what it's worth, I think you need to get out of the relationship, and soon.

Do the right thing.

 

[lightNlife]

Yes, that's all normal. I'm sorry you're so heartbroken. It's hard to be with someone that long and then have it all torn out from under you.

It sounds as though he's only just now coming to terms with what it means to have CF, and all the implications of it. If he's just now getting started with a nebulizer and he's already 24, then I'm willing to bet that he hasn't really had to deal with a whole lot of the major challenges of the disease.

From what you described as the reasons he's giving you for 'pushing you away' as you said, the underlying reason to his questions may be that he's testing you to see what you're made of. As often happens in a case like this, a person will push and push and push, giving all sorts of reasons why the other person shouldn't stay with them. Eventually, the person may in fact leave, resulting in the person who pushed them away to say "see, I told you so. You never really loved me anyway." It's sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy that way.

You are going to hurt, and his behavior is going to be hard to take. This may or may not resolve itself.

You've mentioned that you've known each other for 10 years. Needless to say, a lot can happen in 10 years as people grow and mature. You've already invested a lot in this relationship, and that's probably why you want to just give it some time and see what happens. I'm going to have to agree with 'every1 telling you to move out." If he doesn't respect you enough after 10 years to know that he can share his fears and concerns with you, then he is not loving you as you deserved to be loved.

His pushing you away has less to do with having CF than it does with having an immature relationship (just based on what you described of the situation.) Please, don't be a rescuer. Respect yourself enough to not be tied down to someone who isn't willing to share everything with you. I know it's hard, but for what it's worth, I think you need to get out of the relationship, and soon.

Do the right thing.

 

[lightNlife]

Yes, that's all normal. I'm sorry you're so heartbroken. It's hard to be with someone that long and then have it all torn out from under you.

It sounds as though he's only just now coming to terms with what it means to have CF, and all the implications of it. If he's just now getting started with a nebulizer and he's already 24, then I'm willing to bet that he hasn't really had to deal with a whole lot of the major challenges of the disease.

From what you described as the reasons he's giving you for 'pushing you away' as you said, the underlying reason to his questions may be that he's testing you to see what you're made of. As often happens in a case like this, a person will push and push and push, giving all sorts of reasons why the other person shouldn't stay with them. Eventually, the person may in fact leave, resulting in the person who pushed them away to say "see, I told you so. You never really loved me anyway." It's sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy that way.

You are going to hurt, and his behavior is going to be hard to take. This may or may not resolve itself.

You've mentioned that you've known each other for 10 years. Needless to say, a lot can happen in 10 years as people grow and mature. You've already invested a lot in this relationship, and that's probably why you want to just give it some time and see what happens. I'm going to have to agree with 'every1 telling you to move out." If he doesn't respect you enough after 10 years to know that he can share his fears and concerns with you, then he is not loving you as you deserved to be loved.

His pushing you away has less to do with having CF than it does with having an immature relationship (just based on what you described of the situation.) Please, don't be a rescuer. Respect yourself enough to not be tied down to someone who isn't willing to share everything with you. I know it's hard, but for what it's worth, I think you need to get out of the relationship, and soon.

Do the right thing.