Jokes

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anonymous

New member
Hi, does anyone have any good jokes? Having CF can be depressing sometimes, so maybe we can lighten up each other's lives and bring smiles to each other's faces!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
By the way, there is a certain criteria for jokes:
No bad language or any other innapropriate things in the joke
Can't be a really dumb one(ie Knock knock? Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep!), but you can use knock knocks, as long as they're pretty funny
Everything you post has to be at least funny enough to bring a slight chuckle. Okay, just a smile. I don't want someone getting on here who's really sad or something, and they look for some good jokes and everybody's posting really unfunny stuff.
Have fun doing it!

Anyway, I guess I can't really enforce these, but I'd prefer that you followed them.
Thanks for reading, and have fun posting!
 
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anonymous

New member
Okay, I'll start: A young lover and his girlfriend were quietly sitting in a park, watching the birds fly overhead. Leaning back and sighing, the lover said: "Darling, I could die for you."
The woman looked at him and said, "You're always saying that, but you never do it!"
 
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buggygurl321

New member
A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on a deserted island when a genie appears and says that he'll grant them each one wish. The red head wishes to be home with her friends and family, so the genie grants it. The brunette wishes the same and again, it is granted. Finally it is the blonde's turn. She says, "I'm lonely, I want my friends back!"

A duck walks into a general store and asks the manager, "Got any gwapes?" The man says "No."
The next day, the duck returns and asks "Got any gwapes?" Again, the man says "No".
The third day the duck returns, asking "Got any gwapes?" The man says, "No and if you come back tomorrow and ask that, I'll nail your feet to the floor!"
The fourth day, the duck returns and asks, "got any nails?" "No." "Got any gwapes?"

Katie
 
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buggygurl321

New member
Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!"
The second blonde said, "No, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!"
The third blondie said, "No, those are horse tracks!"
They where still arguing ten minutes later when a train hit them.


Once upon a time, there was a prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, the following year he was allowed to speak two words. (This was before the time of letter writing or sign language.)
One day, he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes) and fell madly in love with her. With the greatest difficulty, he refrained from speaking for 2 whole years so that he could look at her and say, "My darling." But at the end of these 2 years, he wished to tell her that he loved her. So he waited 3 more years without speaking, bringing the total number of silent years to 5.
At the end of these 5 years, he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited another 4 years without speaking.
Finally, as the 9th year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds. Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden, the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said, "My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?"
And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind her dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said, "Pardon?"


This (Blonde) fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his backyard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws.
The dealer tells him, "Look, I have a lot of models, but why don't you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of- the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day."
So, the man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After cutting for several hours and only cutting two cords, he decides to quit. He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw. "How can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?" the man asks himself. "I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day," the man tells himself.
So, the next morning the man gets up at 4 am in the morning and cuts and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and still he only manages to cut five cords.
The man is convinced this is a bad saw. "The dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem. I will take this saw back to the dealer," the man says to himself.
The very next day the man brings the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem. The dealer, baffled by the man's claim, removes the chainsaw from the case. The dealer says, "Hmm, it looks fine."
Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the man responds, "What's that noise?
 
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