Just a weeeeeeeeee bit
'An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare.
With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman.
Shortly there after he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away.
So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them.
The farmer simply replied, 'They're lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want.
'
The man dated the first daughter.
The next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion.
'Well,' said the man, 'she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice...pigeon-toed.
'
The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.
The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.
'Well,'the man replied, 'she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell...cross-eyed.
'
The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.
The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, 'She's perfect, just perfect.
She's the one I want to marry'
So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born.
When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.
'Well,' explained the farmer, 'She was just a weeeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell... pregnant when you met her.
'
------------------------------------------------------------
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette out of the dealership.
Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind
blowing through what little hair he had left. Amazing,'
he thought as
he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him,
blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph,
then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, 'What am I doing? I'm too
old for this,' and pulled over to await the Trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked
at his watch and said, 'Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is
Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never
heard before, I'll let you
go.'
The old gentleman paused. Then said, 'Years ago, my wife ran off with
a State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.'
'Have a good day, Sir,' replied the Trooper.
'An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare.
With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman.
Shortly there after he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away.
So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them.
The farmer simply replied, 'They're lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want.
'
The man dated the first daughter.
The next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion.
'Well,' said the man, 'she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice...pigeon-toed.
'
The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.
The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.
'Well,'the man replied, 'she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell...cross-eyed.
'
The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.
The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, 'She's perfect, just perfect.
She's the one I want to marry'
So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born.
When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.
'Well,' explained the farmer, 'She was just a weeeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell... pregnant when you met her.
'
------------------------------------------------------------
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette out of the dealership.
Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind
blowing through what little hair he had left. Amazing,'
he thought as
he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him,
blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph,
then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, 'What am I doing? I'm too
old for this,' and pulled over to await the Trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked
at his watch and said, 'Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is
Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never
heard before, I'll let you
go.'
The old gentleman paused. Then said, 'Years ago, my wife ran off with
a State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.'
'Have a good day, Sir,' replied the Trooper.