My son has Cf and will turn 5 this summer. He is supposed to be starting kindergarten in the fall. Because he turns 5 so close to the cut-off age (here in Texas you have to 5 by sept 1st) people have suggested that I keep him back a year. He is already in preschool and is doing quite well, he never really misbehaves in class (no more than the average little boy does) His teacher wants me to hold him back so he can calm down more and be prepared academicly. She has been trying to convince most of the parents to do this as well, not just my son. She also said that my son will get picked on because he'll probably be the smallest in the class! I have considered waiting another year, but I really don't want to. I want him to graduate and get out into the real world and start expereincing life as soon as he can, not to have to wait an extra year. And what if has to repeat a year because he got sick and couldn't finish the school year--that would put him back 2 years! I'd like to know if any of the parents have had to deal with this also, and how it affected your child. Thanks
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kindergarten?
- Thread starter anonymous
- Start date
I think there are a couple ways to look at it. First I have and would rely on the kinder. teachers evaluation from the school where he would go. Maybe sometime in March or April they could take some time to evaluate what they think taking into consideration your thoughts. It would be a shame for him to struggle and then not enjoy school. There are always some really tall, really heavy, really skinny, and really small children in each class and I don't feel that that should be a reason for not sending. I do believe if it would benefit the child in behavior maturity and fine and gross motor skills as well as academics - then have him go to a pre-k program for a year and give him the benefit of the year. If the school kind. teacher feels he is able, then send him. In our township, they will let the child sit in for a couple of hours for the teacher to observe with her current class and then spend 15 - 20 min. with the child and help to guide the parents. The other thing to maybe consider is if they are strong acad. and they miss days later in other grades and can get a tutor, they can catch up. If they struggle through each grade, it will be harder to catch up if they miss time. My son is in the first grade now and doing quite well - still pretty antsy though. I think sometimes we have to have them sit still for so long when doing treatments and therapy that they get rammy during other times. Also sometimes some of the meds make them a little or sometimes a lot hyper. Good luck with your decision.
We also live in Texas. My three-year old daughter with cf was born on July 20th. I think I have decided to hold my daughter back. My one-year old son with cf was born on August 25. I am positive that I am holding him back. He is a boy and as a teacher I know that almost all boys in late July/August are held back. It is different for girls though. I think I would like to hold my daughter back because it might be difficult for her to be the youngest and then mature later. From what I have read about cf, is that some girls with cf mature a year or two later. Also, she might have an easier time in school if she is older. I don't know if that makes sense though. In regards to insurance, it is another year that they can be on our insurance. It would make them really old though if they ever have to be held back to do missing so much school. But in that case, if they are that sick, then schooling wouldn't seem to the top priority at that time in our lives. They have teachers from the school district who can tutor at home/hospital, so it makes it much easier to stay on level. As a teacher, I know that if a kid is missing that much school due to a serious illness, I can't imagine they wouldn't promote the child to the next grade. It probably does happen occasionally though.
I would send him to kindergarten next year, and make your decision a year from now. My mom agrees with you that it is best to get them out in the real world sooner. I guess I selfishly maybe want to keep them home another year, too.
Sharon, mom of Sophia, 3 and Jack, 17 months both with cf
I would send him to kindergarten next year, and make your decision a year from now. My mom agrees with you that it is best to get them out in the real world sooner. I guess I selfishly maybe want to keep them home another year, too.
Sharon, mom of Sophia, 3 and Jack, 17 months both with cf
I would not hold my son back. The calm down line really gets me. I don't buy that for a minute. If your child is "immature" (a famous line teachers use to hold kids back) do you really think a year is going to make a difference? I am a certified teacher (grades 6-12) and know that there are probably political reasons for teachers to hold these kids back. Trying to insure better test scores for their school maybe? If you don't think he should be held back, DON'T! We're talking Kindergarten here not medical school. IF IT WERE ME (and it isn't), I would put my son in Kindergarten and see how it goes - how he learns and gets along - is it too much pressure on him? If you feel he needs to be held back, then let him repeat Kindergarten. Give the little guy a chance!
Two personal experiences:
My cousin was held back for "immaturity" reasons in the 1st grade. True he was very immature, but BRILLIANT! Holding him back did nothing to help him - he was immature all through high school and is still immature in college (and still brilliant). He's a great guy!
My nephew - teachers wanted to hold him back for immaturity reasons in Kindergarten AND 1st grade, but his parents fought with the school to NOT let that happen. He is in 2nd grade and having his best year ever.
Teachers don't know everything. Trust yourself.
Where in Texas do you live - I live in the DFW area. Good luck and let us know what you decide!
Jena
mom to 4 yr old with CF
Two personal experiences:
My cousin was held back for "immaturity" reasons in the 1st grade. True he was very immature, but BRILLIANT! Holding him back did nothing to help him - he was immature all through high school and is still immature in college (and still brilliant). He's a great guy!
My nephew - teachers wanted to hold him back for immaturity reasons in Kindergarten AND 1st grade, but his parents fought with the school to NOT let that happen. He is in 2nd grade and having his best year ever.
Teachers don't know everything. Trust yourself.
Where in Texas do you live - I live in the DFW area. Good luck and let us know what you decide!
Jena
mom to 4 yr old with CF
You should base your decision on whether or not you think your child can handel the academics and the social interaction. Will you be helping him with his reading and math if he struggles?
I would discourage you in letting the "I want him to get out in the world as soon as possible" factor play in to it. The truth is that the growing up part of life is as full and exciting and more fun than this 'real world' thing. His achievement in school is important and should be approached as if there was no CF at all. It is improtant to have open communication w/ The school about his medical needs, and have a plan for if he has an extended absence. I never experienced ANY problems in being accomodated other than the ocasional ignorant teacher, but I have heard some horror stories. Don't worry about all these what ifs. A 'normal' student could get held back just as eaisly.
Debbie
23 w/ CF
just graduated w/ a BA in English from Colorado State and currently entering the 'real world'
I would discourage you in letting the "I want him to get out in the world as soon as possible" factor play in to it. The truth is that the growing up part of life is as full and exciting and more fun than this 'real world' thing. His achievement in school is important and should be approached as if there was no CF at all. It is improtant to have open communication w/ The school about his medical needs, and have a plan for if he has an extended absence. I never experienced ANY problems in being accomodated other than the ocasional ignorant teacher, but I have heard some horror stories. Don't worry about all these what ifs. A 'normal' student could get held back just as eaisly.
Debbie
23 w/ CF
just graduated w/ a BA in English from Colorado State and currently entering the 'real world'
Hello, I am the mom who started this thread. Thanks for all the advice!! I've never really heard of teachers holding boys back more often than girls, is this common? A huge part of me wants to hold on to him an extra year, but he loves school and his friends so much. this is a very big decision for us and I appreciate your responses, thanks
Jena, we live in Richardson, my son will be going to Richardson schools and he visits Dr. Prestidge at Children's Medical Center. Where in DFW are you?
Sheli
mom of Harrison 4 1/2 w/CF
Jena, we live in Richardson, my son will be going to Richardson schools and he visits Dr. Prestidge at Children's Medical Center. Where in DFW are you?
Sheli
mom of Harrison 4 1/2 w/CF
I think I was the one that mentioned summer birthday boys being held back more than girls. It was just a trend I noticed when I was in school and I have noticed it as a teacher too. I think it is just what parents often choose for their children. I taught junior high, so I was not implying that I knew about Kindergarten teachers deliberately hold back boys. Sorry if I implied that. I think if you feel your child is ready to move on, don't hold him back!
Sharon, mom to Sophia, 3 and Jack, 17 months both with cf
Sharon, mom to Sophia, 3 and Jack, 17 months both with cf
I live in Hurst - we go to Cooks.
It doesn't really surprise me to hear that boys are held back more often than girls. I've always heard that girls just mature more quickly than boys. From what I've observed - that's true!
Hey! I just thought of a suggestion for your dilemma. You mentioned that your teacher was recommending holding back several students. I would imagine the class ahead of your son (last year), there were probably a handful of students who were encouraged to wait to start Kindergarten also. Perhaps you can talk with some of those parents, see what choice they made, and if they were happy with their choice.
I can't help but remember when I was a kid - very few children attended pre-school and most children started Kindergarten as a blank slate. It amazes me the requirements that must be met nowadays for a child to even START their education. I wish you luck in your decision. Once you've decided, accept it as being the right choice and don't second guess yourself down the line. We do the best we can!
Good luck!
Jena
It doesn't really surprise me to hear that boys are held back more often than girls. I've always heard that girls just mature more quickly than boys. From what I've observed - that's true!
Hey! I just thought of a suggestion for your dilemma. You mentioned that your teacher was recommending holding back several students. I would imagine the class ahead of your son (last year), there were probably a handful of students who were encouraged to wait to start Kindergarten also. Perhaps you can talk with some of those parents, see what choice they made, and if they were happy with their choice.
I can't help but remember when I was a kid - very few children attended pre-school and most children started Kindergarten as a blank slate. It amazes me the requirements that must be met nowadays for a child to even START their education. I wish you luck in your decision. Once you've decided, accept it as being the right choice and don't second guess yourself down the line. We do the best we can!
Good luck!
Jena
Although I don't have CF, I decided to reply to this post. I turned 5 in August, and started Kindergarten three weeks later (back in 88). My parents were encouraged to keep me in montesori for another year because I too was a hyper child. but I think my parents did the right thing. It gave me the head start I needed, I ended up taking advanced classes all through school, I was impressed my parents had faith in my abilities in spite of what other "professionals: recommended. I think that also contributed to me doing running start in my JR year of highschool, by graduation I had already done a year of college and I graduated 3.5 months after my 17th birthday. I did all advanced homeschool and college classes the last semester of my SR year so I graduated in December, not the tradational May/June. I really think a lot of that had to do with the faith I felt my parents had in me.
If you feel like your child is ready, you should go for it. You know him better than anyone and you are his best advocate.
If you feel like your child is ready, you should go for it. You know him better than anyone and you are his best advocate.
when i had to go to school the deadline was sept 30...my birthday. so my parents put me in when i was 4( a month later i turned 5). i was always the youngest, but i never got picked on because of that. i guess what you could do is try it out for a month and see how your son does and if he does great then keep him there if not then just hold him back until the next school year. its your decision not someone elses.