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looking for the Holland story
- Thread starter izemmom
- Start date
Well, call me angry, but I don't think that "Welcome to Holland" is all that helpful.
It was originally written for parents of babies with Down's syndrome. (Who society saw as growing up to be cute, loving, charming, folks - just not too bright.)
I think that Holland is just too easy and pleasant a place to live for it to seem like the place where CFers live.
I think they nead to write "Welcome to Siberia" because I think my husband with bronchiectasis lived in Siberia.
And I hate the cold - but loved the man, so I would have lived with him anywhere - even Siberia if that's where some mistake took him.
I learned to love Siberia.
I think it's like Siberia because you have to have so many smarts and a darn good attitude just to keep alive. Can't arrive there from some place warm and expect to make it unless you get tips from those who have already learned to live there (=obvious). Have those long winters when you have to keep all your survival gear in the house (= medical stuff). Sometime have blizzards when you are housebound (=home IV).
Still have wonderful beautiful short spring and fall and summers you never take for granted. Learn to appreciate the small things. Learn to appreciate your courage and the courage of others. Being on the edge of civilization makes you appreciate the people that are in your life. Every little thing becomes a celebration. Don't need a lot of money to make a party.
Friends who went to Italy hardly ever get it. Don't hardly understand how you survive. Certainly don't understand why you laugh so much. etc. Don't understand what you mean when you talk about how close to the gods/lifeforce/nature you feel on the coldest of winter nights -- and how that closeness brings you joy and peace.....
But that's just my opinion.
The iris was "our" flower. I'm planting Siberian iris ( <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.homesteadfarms.com/siberian_iris.htm">http://www.homesteadfarms.com/siberian_iris.htm</a> ) around the house now...
Added through edit:
I do "get" the Welcome to Holland story. And I did not intend to negate the positive in that. Just think that Welcome to Siberia is more accurate. If you think you're in Holland when you're actually in Siberia you won't live very long - and you could end up just as unhappy as if you spend all of your time pining for Italy. And living a long long time and being happy while doing it, having a full productive life while you have CF. that's what it's all about, isn't it? Being realistic about the dangers of the environment helps with that - IMHO. There are all kinds of happy people living in Siberia or upper Alaska or rural Iceland.
It was originally written for parents of babies with Down's syndrome. (Who society saw as growing up to be cute, loving, charming, folks - just not too bright.)
I think that Holland is just too easy and pleasant a place to live for it to seem like the place where CFers live.
I think they nead to write "Welcome to Siberia" because I think my husband with bronchiectasis lived in Siberia.
And I hate the cold - but loved the man, so I would have lived with him anywhere - even Siberia if that's where some mistake took him.
I learned to love Siberia.
I think it's like Siberia because you have to have so many smarts and a darn good attitude just to keep alive. Can't arrive there from some place warm and expect to make it unless you get tips from those who have already learned to live there (=obvious). Have those long winters when you have to keep all your survival gear in the house (= medical stuff). Sometime have blizzards when you are housebound (=home IV).
Still have wonderful beautiful short spring and fall and summers you never take for granted. Learn to appreciate the small things. Learn to appreciate your courage and the courage of others. Being on the edge of civilization makes you appreciate the people that are in your life. Every little thing becomes a celebration. Don't need a lot of money to make a party.
Friends who went to Italy hardly ever get it. Don't hardly understand how you survive. Certainly don't understand why you laugh so much. etc. Don't understand what you mean when you talk about how close to the gods/lifeforce/nature you feel on the coldest of winter nights -- and how that closeness brings you joy and peace.....
But that's just my opinion.
The iris was "our" flower. I'm planting Siberian iris ( <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.homesteadfarms.com/siberian_iris.htm">http://www.homesteadfarms.com/siberian_iris.htm</a> ) around the house now...
Added through edit:
I do "get" the Welcome to Holland story. And I did not intend to negate the positive in that. Just think that Welcome to Siberia is more accurate. If you think you're in Holland when you're actually in Siberia you won't live very long - and you could end up just as unhappy as if you spend all of your time pining for Italy. And living a long long time and being happy while doing it, having a full productive life while you have CF. that's what it's all about, isn't it? Being realistic about the dangers of the environment helps with that - IMHO. There are all kinds of happy people living in Siberia or upper Alaska or rural Iceland.
Lisa-I'm sorry for your loss. It's so new and must be terrible. What I know is that Holland does seem to be a beautiful place, and CF certainly is anything but beautiful. Had I been given the option to have my daughter born without cf I would have. Just like going to Italy in the metaphor. But, here I am, not in Italy. Every day I wish, just a little bit, that I was in Italy - that cf would not be a factor in my family's life forever. Every day I cry because I'll never know what Italy is like. But, now that I've been in this place for a while, I can find the true beauty. A smile as big as any I've ever seen, a cry that stops when I sing, a baby who finally, after 4 months weighs as much as her dad did at birth. This is not where I wanted to be, but its the most beautiful place I've been. I've placed a vase of tulips on the dining room table to remind me to enjoy Holland. I don't know how long I get to stay.
Tami
Mom to Isabelle 3 no cf
Emily 4 months w/cf
Tami
Mom to Isabelle 3 no cf
Emily 4 months w/cf
Lisa,
Your analogy is perfectly stated. I agree, CF is a miserable and harsh place. I'm sure you have been through a great deal of sadness recently. I'm very sorry for the loss of your husband.
Enjoy your irises. What a beautiful way to celebrate and honor the memory.
Jane
Your analogy is perfectly stated. I agree, CF is a miserable and harsh place. I'm sure you have been through a great deal of sadness recently. I'm very sorry for the loss of your husband.
Enjoy your irises. What a beautiful way to celebrate and honor the memory.
Jane
added to say I have 3 kids with CF and have found welcome to holland to be very true.
I thought I "signed" up for healthy kids, for a trip to italy. I accidently landed elsewhere. NOt where I would make a decision to visit much less live. But we are here and are discovering the beauty of this land. Making a new life for ourselves and learning the language and the customs. Holland has its own beauty, I'm reminded of that everytime I look at my 3 kids.
I don't think Down Syndrome is any beautiful land. Do some research on the problems that can be part of down syndrome(life threatning heart defects etc), not to mention the stigma. I don't CF is any better or worse than any other disease out there.
Cassidy mom to Ashleigh(16,CF),Noah(13),Skylar(11,CF),Meredith and McKenna(4),Delaney(3) and Kaden(3 months...30wk preemie, CF,Bilary Atresia)
I thought I "signed" up for healthy kids, for a trip to italy. I accidently landed elsewhere. NOt where I would make a decision to visit much less live. But we are here and are discovering the beauty of this land. Making a new life for ourselves and learning the language and the customs. Holland has its own beauty, I'm reminded of that everytime I look at my 3 kids.
I don't think Down Syndrome is any beautiful land. Do some research on the problems that can be part of down syndrome(life threatning heart defects etc), not to mention the stigma. I don't CF is any better or worse than any other disease out there.
Cassidy mom to Ashleigh(16,CF),Noah(13),Skylar(11,CF),Meredith and McKenna(4),Delaney(3) and Kaden(3 months...30wk preemie, CF,Bilary Atresia)
lovemygirl
New member
Lisa,
I have come across this posting a few times but knew the Holland story well so I never read your posting....until today. Something struck me while I read it and I had to reply.
"Friends who went to Italy hardly ever get it. Don't hardly understand how you survive. Certainly don't understand why you laugh so much."
Just the other day I was emailing my boss and I put a smiley face on my email. He called me and said it is amazing that I laugh so much and send smiley faces at work when everyone else just seems to complain about nonsense. I explained that people who complain about nothing do not know pain and take the little things in life for granted. Through life experience I am not one of those people and I now realize that life is too short to not enjoy it.
I was glad to read your email and see that someone else felt the same way. Thank you for expressing what I already felt.
I have come across this posting a few times but knew the Holland story well so I never read your posting....until today. Something struck me while I read it and I had to reply.
"Friends who went to Italy hardly ever get it. Don't hardly understand how you survive. Certainly don't understand why you laugh so much."
Just the other day I was emailing my boss and I put a smiley face on my email. He called me and said it is amazing that I laugh so much and send smiley faces at work when everyone else just seems to complain about nonsense. I explained that people who complain about nothing do not know pain and take the little things in life for granted. Through life experience I am not one of those people and I now realize that life is too short to not enjoy it.
I was glad to read your email and see that someone else felt the same way. Thank you for expressing what I already felt.
Hi Karen,
Someone sent me the Welcome to Holland when my twins with CF were about a month old. It was wonderful and helpful... and I'd encourage you to send it. I agree with Liza too... as you learn more you might think it's Siberia... but in those first few months dealing with all of those mixed new baby hormonal feelings Welcome to Holland hits the nail on the head.
Stacy
Someone sent me the Welcome to Holland when my twins with CF were about a month old. It was wonderful and helpful... and I'd encourage you to send it. I agree with Liza too... as you learn more you might think it's Siberia... but in those first few months dealing with all of those mixed new baby hormonal feelings Welcome to Holland hits the nail on the head.
Stacy
Karenbad-
Someone sent this to me when I was pregnant, after I discovered my baby had Cf and I truely loved it!
I think sending it to your friend is a very good idea, it helps you to understand that although we may have not received the healthy child we had so hoped for, we have still received a wonderful child, whom will teach us so much about the value of life, and so many other things we fail to see. It's a real eye opener in my opinion. I loved it. I was not offended in the least bit.
Just a really great example, that just because what we got is not exactly what we had wanted does not mean it is not just as wonderfull, if not better, you just have to look deeper than the surface.
Jen
Someone sent this to me when I was pregnant, after I discovered my baby had Cf and I truely loved it!
I think sending it to your friend is a very good idea, it helps you to understand that although we may have not received the healthy child we had so hoped for, we have still received a wonderful child, whom will teach us so much about the value of life, and so many other things we fail to see. It's a real eye opener in my opinion. I loved it. I was not offended in the least bit.
Just a really great example, that just because what we got is not exactly what we had wanted does not mean it is not just as wonderfull, if not better, you just have to look deeper than the surface.
Jen