Marriage & CF In California

SanDiegoNice

New member
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Hello,</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-blush.gif" border="0">ffice<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-blush.gif" border="0">ffice" /><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial> </FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>I am a newbie and I need some solid financial & marriage advice for a friend. Any and all tips are so very appreciated!<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Thank you so much in advance! I am so grateful! My best male friend (for the past 19 years) is deeply in love with a woman with C.F. </FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial> </FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>The Guy (Non C-F)</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>He is 40, never been married, no kids, would like to have kids, employed through a small company, his parents are exceptionally wealthy, rents a home in San Diego, California. He makes about $75K a year.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial> </FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>The Girl (C-F)</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>She is 27 y.o., never really had any serious romantic relationships, would like to get married, would like to have kids, lives with her parents, her parents are poor and hard workers. </FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial> </FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Current C-F Medical State</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>She was diagnosed with C-F at birth. She is at the point in her C-F therapy that she is hospitalized for 3 weeks continuously approximately every 3 months. Because of this significant time delay, she is not able to seek full time or part time employment. She wears a vibrating vest for treatment every night / several nights per week for a few hours. (I am not really sure where her condition would rank as far as the progression of C-F goes on the bell curve - any help would be great.)</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial> </FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Co Habitating</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>She stated that she would never live with a man unless she was engaged, so he proposed with a beautiful diamond ring. They slept in different bedrooms because of the coughing, etc, so that everyone could get a good night rest. (That is how it was explained to me.) Ideally, she would like for both of them to move and rent a house near the beach in San Diego, since he lives nowhere near a beach currently. They did live together for almost 5 months this year before she moved back home with her parents.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial> </FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Option of Having Biological Children</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>The doctor at one point sat both of them down and stated that conceiving children would be very unlikely or unwise, etc, with her current health status. Currently, they do not practice safe sex. Both of them feel that having a child or children will be no problem in a few years when they are ready to start a family. I mentioned that adoption would most likely be out for them but they could consider a surrogate option ($25,000 or so) if she was unable to physically carry to term. A surrogate would also require IVF fees, which are high ($10,000 or so) for each cycle. He does not have any of that type of money for surrogacy. He will still be with her, regardless of whether they have children or not. Children is not a deal breaker for him.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial> </FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Current C-F Health Related Cost Responsibility</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000><FONT size=2><FONT face=arial>She is a college graduate, has never worked legally, is covered under California Medi-Caid/ Medi-Cal, I believe, because her income is considered zero. </FONT></FONT></FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial> </FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial> </FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Non Legal Wedding Celebration</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>They decided, with the love and support of family and friends like me, to have a big celebration and wedding ceremony without the legal formality. 30 days before the celebration, she stated that she would only go through with the celebration if they were legally married to show that he has "committed to her" (I have heard that exact phrase over and over). The wedding was postponed and the groom's family lost the $10,000 deposit for the wedding celebration.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial> </FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Couples Counseling</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>They have both decided to try to get back together again and pursue a healthy and happy relationship. She has the same condition of having a legal marriage ceremony in order to proceed. They had attended couples therapy with a psychologist before the wedding was called off. He is still going to therapy to give the therapist updates on their relationship.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial> </FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Locating Legal Advice</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>She has stated that she knows many happily married C-F couples who make it work financially where the non-CF spouse is not legally or financially responsible for the C-F's medical bills. She has asked that he contact a C-F lawyer in order to find out what his financial obligations would be if they were legally married. He has scheduled one appointment in San Diego. He has contacted his health insurance company through his employer and they gave him the general caps on his plans per year. So far, this is the only information that he is working with to estimate future financial requirements. He has promised her that he will research all the aspects of being married legally in order to find some way to proceed with the relationship.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial> </FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>My Two Cents</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>I have suggested that they have a celebration without a legal marriage. If he ever loses his job (quite possible in this economy), then her health care and quality of care would be compromised. I think poor health care or health care with less benefits is unacceptable when a person is terminal. I have mentioned that he can still be a legal power of attorney if she wishes that to be someone besides her parents. I also gave him the contact info for a life insurance plan for $275K without a medical exam and without CF exclusions that they could both have a policy out on each other after they were engaged. He said the thought of a life insurance plan was morbid.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial> </FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>I have mentioned that once they are legally married, regardless of whether they live together or have children, that their two social security numbers become linked and he will, indeed, be financially responsible for her. Because of his income, I believe that she will lose her Medi-Caid / Medi-Cal. Even after she passes away (in a very long time, hopefully), I have told him that he will still be financially responsible for her debts that were accrued while living.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial> </FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>I don't have any other facts to give him for a non C-F spouse not to be financially devastated mid life as he approaches 50. I have directed him to various websites for disability, social security, C-F, etc. However, I think now that real life accounts of what it is really like from the people with C-F who have already gone through it is much more specific. Maybe these suggestions will have more of an impact on him? Or seem more real because they came from real people? I am unable to give him any more advice on something that I know zero about.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial> </FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Can anyone out there (especially in California) help me with how they were successful? Or if you had complications, how can he avoid them and be pro-active with insurance, etc? Hindsight is always better but only if you get this advice from others ahead of time.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial> </FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=3 face=Calibri><FONT size=2 face=arial>Thank you so much! Please</FONT> help to save a happy couple!</FONT></P>
 

SanDiegoNice

New member
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Hello,</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-blush.gif" border="0">ffice<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-blush.gif" border="0">ffice" /><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>I am a newbie and I need some solid financial & marriage advice for a friend. Any and all tips are so very appreciated!<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Thank you so much in advance! I am so grateful! My best male friend (for the past 19 years) is deeply in love with a woman with C.F. </FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>The Guy (Non C-F)</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>He is 40, never been married, no kids, would like to have kids, employed through a small company, his parents are exceptionally wealthy, rents a home in San Diego, California. He makes about $75K a year.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>The Girl (C-F)</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>She is 27 y.o., never really had any serious romantic relationships, would like to get married, would like to have kids, lives with her parents, her parents are poor and hard workers. </FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Current C-F Medical State</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>She was diagnosed with C-F at birth. She is at the point in her C-F therapy that she is hospitalized for 3 weeks continuously approximately every 3 months. Because of this significant time delay, she is not able to seek full time or part time employment. She wears a vibrating vest for treatment every night / several nights per week for a few hours. (I am not really sure where her condition would rank as far as the progression of C-F goes on the bell curve - any help would be great.)</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Co Habitating</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>She stated that she would never live with a man unless she was engaged, so he proposed with a beautiful diamond ring. They slept in different bedrooms because of the coughing, etc, so that everyone could get a good night rest. (That is how it was explained to me.) Ideally, she would like for both of them to move and rent a house near the beach in San Diego, since he lives nowhere near a beach currently. They did live together for almost 5 months this year before she moved back home with her parents.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Option of Having Biological Children</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>The doctor at one point sat both of them down and stated that conceiving children would be very unlikely or unwise, etc, with her current health status. Currently, they do not practice safe sex. Both of them feel that having a child or children will be no problem in a few years when they are ready to start a family. I mentioned that adoption would most likely be out for them but they could consider a surrogate option ($25,000 or so) if she was unable to physically carry to term. A surrogate would also require IVF fees, which are high ($10,000 or so) for each cycle. He does not have any of that type of money for surrogacy. He will still be with her, regardless of whether they have children or not. Children is not a deal breaker for him.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Current C-F Health Related Cost Responsibility</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000><FONT size=2><FONT face=arial>She is a college graduate, has never worked legally, is covered under California Medi-Caid/ Medi-Cal, I believe, because her income is considered zero. </FONT></FONT></FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Non Legal Wedding Celebration</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>They decided, with the love and support of family and friends like me, to have a big celebration and wedding ceremony without the legal formality. 30 days before the celebration, she stated that she would only go through with the celebration if they were legally married to show that he has "committed to her" (I have heard that exact phrase over and over). The wedding was postponed and the groom's family lost the $10,000 deposit for the wedding celebration.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Couples Counseling</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>They have both decided to try to get back together again and pursue a healthy and happy relationship. She has the same condition of having a legal marriage ceremony in order to proceed. They had attended couples therapy with a psychologist before the wedding was called off. He is still going to therapy to give the therapist updates on their relationship.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Locating Legal Advice</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>She has stated that she knows many happily married C-F couples who make it work financially where the non-CF spouse is not legally or financially responsible for the C-F's medical bills. She has asked that he contact a C-F lawyer in order to find out what his financial obligations would be if they were legally married. He has scheduled one appointment in San Diego. He has contacted his health insurance company through his employer and they gave him the general caps on his plans per year. So far, this is the only information that he is working with to estimate future financial requirements. He has promised her that he will research all the aspects of being married legally in order to find some way to proceed with the relationship.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>My Two Cents</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>I have suggested that they have a celebration without a legal marriage. If he ever loses his job (quite possible in this economy), then her health care and quality of care would be compromised. I think poor health care or health care with less benefits is unacceptable when a person is terminal. I have mentioned that he can still be a legal power of attorney if she wishes that to be someone besides her parents. I also gave him the contact info for a life insurance plan for $275K without a medical exam and without CF exclusions that they could both have a policy out on each other after they were engaged. He said the thought of a life insurance plan was morbid.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>I have mentioned that once they are legally married, regardless of whether they live together or have children, that their two social security numbers become linked and he will, indeed, be financially responsible for her. Because of his income, I believe that she will lose her Medi-Caid / Medi-Cal. Even after she passes away (in a very long time, hopefully), I have told him that he will still be financially responsible for her debts that were accrued while living.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>I don't have any other facts to give him for a non C-F spouse not to be financially devastated mid life as he approaches 50. I have directed him to various websites for disability, social security, C-F, etc. However, I think now that real life accounts of what it is really like from the people with C-F who have already gone through it is much more specific. Maybe these suggestions will have more of an impact on him? Or seem more real because they came from real people? I am unable to give him any more advice on something that I know zero about.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Can anyone out there (especially in California) help me with how they were successful? Or if you had complications, how can he avoid them and be pro-active with insurance, etc? Hindsight is always better but only if you get this advice from others ahead of time.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=3 face=Calibri><FONT size=2 face=arial>Thank you so much! Please</FONT> help to save a happy couple!</FONT></P>
 

SanDiegoNice

New member
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Hello,</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-blush.gif" border="0">ffice<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-blush.gif" border="0">ffice" /><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>I am a newbie and I need some solid financial & marriage advice for a friend. Any and all tips are so very appreciated!<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Thank you so much in advance! I am so grateful! My best male friend (for the past 19 years) is deeply in love with a woman with C.F. </FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>The Guy (Non C-F)</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>He is 40, never been married, no kids, would like to have kids, employed through a small company, his parents are exceptionally wealthy, rents a home in San Diego, California. He makes about $75K a year.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>The Girl (C-F)</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>She is 27 y.o., never really had any serious romantic relationships, would like to get married, would like to have kids, lives with her parents, her parents are poor and hard workers. </FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Current C-F Medical State</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>She was diagnosed with C-F at birth. She is at the point in her C-F therapy that she is hospitalized for 3 weeks continuously approximately every 3 months. Because of this significant time delay, she is not able to seek full time or part time employment. She wears a vibrating vest for treatment every night / several nights per week for a few hours. (I am not really sure where her condition would rank as far as the progression of C-F goes on the bell curve - any help would be great.)</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Co Habitating</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>She stated that she would never live with a man unless she was engaged, so he proposed with a beautiful diamond ring. They slept in different bedrooms because of the coughing, etc, so that everyone could get a good night rest. (That is how it was explained to me.) Ideally, she would like for both of them to move and rent a house near the beach in San Diego, since he lives nowhere near a beach currently. They did live together for almost 5 months this year before she moved back home with her parents.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Option of Having Biological Children</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>The doctor at one point sat both of them down and stated that conceiving children would be very unlikely or unwise, etc, with her current health status. Currently, they do not practice safe sex. Both of them feel that having a child or children will be no problem in a few years when they are ready to start a family. I mentioned that adoption would most likely be out for them but they could consider a surrogate option ($25,000 or so) if she was unable to physically carry to term. A surrogate would also require IVF fees, which are high ($10,000 or so) for each cycle. He does not have any of that type of money for surrogacy. He will still be with her, regardless of whether they have children or not. Children is not a deal breaker for him.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Current C-F Health Related Cost Responsibility</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000><FONT size=2><FONT face=arial>She is a college graduate, has never worked legally, is covered under California Medi-Caid/ Medi-Cal, I believe, because her income is considered zero. </FONT></FONT></FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Non Legal Wedding Celebration</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>They decided, with the love and support of family and friends like me, to have a big celebration and wedding ceremony without the legal formality. 30 days before the celebration, she stated that she would only go through with the celebration if they were legally married to show that he has "committed to her" (I have heard that exact phrase over and over). The wedding was postponed and the groom's family lost the $10,000 deposit for the wedding celebration.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Couples Counseling</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>They have both decided to try to get back together again and pursue a healthy and happy relationship. She has the same condition of having a legal marriage ceremony in order to proceed. They had attended couples therapy with a psychologist before the wedding was called off. He is still going to therapy to give the therapist updates on their relationship.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Locating Legal Advice</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>She has stated that she knows many happily married C-F couples who make it work financially where the non-CF spouse is not legally or financially responsible for the C-F's medical bills. She has asked that he contact a C-F lawyer in order to find out what his financial obligations would be if they were legally married. He has scheduled one appointment in San Diego. He has contacted his health insurance company through his employer and they gave him the general caps on his plans per year. So far, this is the only information that he is working with to estimate future financial requirements. He has promised her that he will research all the aspects of being married legally in order to find some way to proceed with the relationship.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>My Two Cents</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>I have suggested that they have a celebration without a legal marriage. If he ever loses his job (quite possible in this economy), then her health care and quality of care would be compromised. I think poor health care or health care with less benefits is unacceptable when a person is terminal. I have mentioned that he can still be a legal power of attorney if she wishes that to be someone besides her parents. I also gave him the contact info for a life insurance plan for $275K without a medical exam and without CF exclusions that they could both have a policy out on each other after they were engaged. He said the thought of a life insurance plan was morbid.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>I have mentioned that once they are legally married, regardless of whether they live together or have children, that their two social security numbers become linked and he will, indeed, be financially responsible for her. Because of his income, I believe that she will lose her Medi-Caid / Medi-Cal. Even after she passes away (in a very long time, hopefully), I have told him that he will still be financially responsible for her debts that were accrued while living.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>I don't have any other facts to give him for a non C-F spouse not to be financially devastated mid life as he approaches 50. I have directed him to various websites for disability, social security, C-F, etc. However, I think now that real life accounts of what it is really like from the people with C-F who have already gone through it is much more specific. Maybe these suggestions will have more of an impact on him? Or seem more real because they came from real people? I am unable to give him any more advice on something that I know zero about.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial>Can anyone out there (especially in California) help me with how they were successful? Or if you had complications, how can he avoid them and be pro-active with insurance, etc? Hindsight is always better but only if you get this advice from others ahead of time.</FONT></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">><FONT color=#000000 size=2 face=arial></FONT></o<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">></P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT color=#000000 size=3 face=Calibri><FONT size=2 face=arial>Thank you so much! Please</FONT> help to save a happy couple!</FONT></P>
 

Printer

Active member
A marriage with 3 people never works. You are waaaaaaaaaay too involved.

I'm with her on the legal marriage but then I'm not sure how you can be legally involved.

Find the forum subject, CF's over 40.

Bill
 

Printer

Active member
A marriage with 3 people never works. You are waaaaaaaaaay too involved.

I'm with her on the legal marriage but then I'm not sure how you can be legally involved.

Find the forum subject, CF's over 40.

Bill
 

Printer

Active member
A marriage with 3 people never works. You are waaaaaaaaaay too involved.
<br />
<br />I'm with her on the legal marriage but then I'm not sure how you can be legally involved.
<br />
<br />Find the forum subject, CF's over 40.
<br />
<br />Bill
 

robbiekay

New member
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; "><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">To my fellow san dieagen, Yes you sound way to involved, AND like a concerned friend. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; "> But any ways, tell your friends if they need legal advice concerning health insurance issues and cystic fibrosis , there is a woman who is a great attorney, She  also has cystic fibrosis  and  has dedicated her whole lifes work to working with people with cystic  fibrosis and their health ins issues. She comes highly recommend  by the cystic fibrosis foundation. <p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">She also gives free leagle advice over the phone, but have your friends call because I do not think she will give you any advice concerning their case, since you are no relation.  Besides they might have other questions they would feel more comfortable speaking to her about than you. They can get her name and number from from your friends,  girl friends social worker at the hospital. I beleive your friends, girl friend probably goes to Thorton because it is the only adult cf clinic in san diego as far as I know. If so she can ask Treasa (the social worker).  really anyone at the clinic will be able to help,  If not Thorton than just ask the social worker at the clinic she goes to, every one knows about this woman she is very good.  <p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; "><br><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">Some advice for you, maybe you should talk to her alittle more. (and him alittle less )  You can really get to know somone if you spend a little time in their shoes. That would be being a better friend to him as well, are you married? Try giveing  them a little space.  <p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">One of the reasons she probably wants to live by the beach is because of the salty air which is great for people with cf in helping them keep ther lungs clean, all cf er's in Cali know this <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">  <p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">Good luck to your friends and God bless you all.<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">mom of 21yr old w cf and 15 yr old wo-cf both guys. 
 

robbiekay

New member
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; "><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">To my fellow san dieagen, Yes you sound way to involved, AND like a concerned friend. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">But any ways, tell your friends if they need legal advice concerning health insurance issues and cystic fibrosis , there is a woman who is a great attorney, She also has cystic fibrosis and has dedicated her whole lifes work to working with people with cystic fibrosis and their health ins issues. She comes highly recommend by the cystic fibrosis foundation.<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">She also gives free leagle advice over the phone, but have your friends call because I do not think she will give you any advice concerning their case, since you are no relation. Besides they might have other questions they would feel more comfortable speaking to her about than you. They can get her name and number from from your friends, girl friends social worker at the hospital. I beleive your friends, girl friend probably goes to Thorton because it is the only adult cf clinic in san diego as far as I know. If so she can ask Treasa (the social worker). really anyone at the clinic will be able to help, If not Thorton than just ask the social worker at the clinic she goes to, every one knows about this woman she is very good.<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; "><br><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">Some advice for you, maybe you should talk to her alittle more. (and him alittle less ) You can really get to know somone if you spend a little time in their shoes. That would be being a better friend to him as well, are you married? Try giveing them a little space. <p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">One of the reasons she probably wants to live by the beach is because of the salty air which is great for people with cf in helping them keep ther lungs clean, all cf er's in Cali know this <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">Good luck to your friends and God bless you all.<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">mom of 21yr old w cf and 15 yr old wo-cf both guys.
 

robbiekay

New member
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; "><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">To my fellow san dieagen, Yes you sound way to involved, AND like a concerned friend. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">But any ways, tell your friends if they need legal advice concerning health insurance issues and cystic fibrosis , there is a woman who is a great attorney, She also has cystic fibrosis and has dedicated her whole lifes work to working with people with cystic fibrosis and their health ins issues. She comes highly recommend by the cystic fibrosis foundation.<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">She also gives free leagle advice over the phone, but have your friends call because I do not think she will give you any advice concerning their case, since you are no relation. Besides they might have other questions they would feel more comfortable speaking to her about than you. They can get her name and number from from your friends, girl friends social worker at the hospital. I beleive your friends, girl friend probably goes to Thorton because it is the only adult cf clinic in san diego as far as I know. If so she can ask Treasa (the social worker). really anyone at the clinic will be able to help, If not Thorton than just ask the social worker at the clinic she goes to, every one knows about this woman she is very good.<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; "><br><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">Some advice for you, maybe you should talk to her alittle more. (and him alittle less ) You can really get to know somone if you spend a little time in their shoes. That would be being a better friend to him as well, are you married? Try giveing them a little space. <p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">One of the reasons she probably wants to live by the beach is because of the salty air which is great for people with cf in helping them keep ther lungs clean, all cf er's in Cali know this <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">Good luck to your friends and God bless you all.<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">mom of 21yr old w cf and 15 yr old wo-cf both guys.<p>
 

Havoc

New member
I disagree that you are too involved. If I saw my best friend go down a seemingly risky pathway, I would try to at least be supportive while offering as much practical advice as I comfortably could.

Also, a bit of a warning. With over 12,000 members on this forum, she likely could be one of them. You've given more than enough identifying details. I don't want to make things worse by publicly analyzing the situation. With that in mind, I will reply to your post via private message. Look for it on the left column on the site.

CF aside for a moment. This girl seems irresponsible
 

Havoc

New member
I disagree that you are too involved. If I saw my best friend go down a seemingly risky pathway, I would try to at least be supportive while offering as much practical advice as I comfortably could.

Also, a bit of a warning. With over 12,000 members on this forum, she likely could be one of them. You've given more than enough identifying details. I don't want to make things worse by publicly analyzing the situation. With that in mind, I will reply to your post via private message. Look for it on the left column on the site.

CF aside for a moment. This girl seems irresponsible
 

Havoc

New member
I disagree that you are too involved. If I saw my best friend go down a seemingly risky pathway, I would try to at least be supportive while offering as much practical advice as I comfortably could.
<br />
<br />Also, a bit of a warning. With over 12,000 members on this forum, she likely could be one of them. You've given more than enough identifying details. I don't want to make things worse by publicly analyzing the situation. With that in mind, I will reply to your post via private message. Look for it on the left column on the site.
<br />
<br />CF aside for a moment. This girl seems irresponsible
 

musclemania70

New member
CA or not, she is not ready. He may be ready but she probably scared him away. If she cannot support herself, cannot work, and is depending on him for all of the above, he should run while he can. What is this man getting out of this possible relationship? Love? He can get that anywhere. She needs to have SOMETHING to offer. Sorry but that's harsh and its true. and if he isn't willing to make it legal, she needs be more mature, make a decision what she will accept, and stand by her decision. She has done too much damage already. Married or not.
 

musclemania70

New member
CA or not, she is not ready. He may be ready but she probably scared him away. If she cannot support herself, cannot work, and is depending on him for all of the above, he should run while he can. What is this man getting out of this possible relationship? Love? He can get that anywhere. She needs to have SOMETHING to offer. Sorry but that's harsh and its true. and if he isn't willing to make it legal, she needs be more mature, make a decision what she will accept, and stand by her decision. She has done too much damage already. Married or not.
 

musclemania70

New member
CA or not, she is not ready. He may be ready but she probably scared him away.<BR> If she cannot support herself, cannot work, and is depending on him for all of the above, he should run while he can. <BR><BR>What is this man getting out of this possible relationship? Love? <BR>He can get that anywhere. <BR>She needs to have SOMETHING to offer. Sorry but that's harsh and its true. <BR>and if he isn't willing to make it legal, she needs be more mature, make a decision what she will accept, and stand by her decision. <BR><BR>She has done too much damage already. <BR>Married or not.
 

Gentrygirl

New member
I would agree with Jonathan that she seems irresponsible. CF doesn't exempt you from having other problems. Here, it seems SHE is the one that is commitment phobic, not him. That may or may not be related to CF, but I'm guessing it's more a symptom of her age and maturity than the CF. I'm a good girl, I won't live with you. I have a ring, now I'll live with you. No, changed my mind, moving out again. Yes! A commitment ceremony sounds perfect, let's do that. No! Not without it being legal. I can't begin to assume what she is feeling, so I guess it's harsh of me to say all that in such an immature, mocking manner, so I'll apologize for that now. Maybe she is torn apart by putting her CF on him, but this poor guy obviously loves her and is getting jerked around a bit. With all the questions and doubt, I say it's not a good environment to start a life long relationship in, but that's their business.
 

Gentrygirl

New member
I would agree with Jonathan that she seems irresponsible. CF doesn't exempt you from having other problems. Here, it seems SHE is the one that is commitment phobic, not him. That may or may not be related to CF, but I'm guessing it's more a symptom of her age and maturity than the CF. I'm a good girl, I won't live with you. I have a ring, now I'll live with you. No, changed my mind, moving out again. Yes! A commitment ceremony sounds perfect, let's do that. No! Not without it being legal. I can't begin to assume what she is feeling, so I guess it's harsh of me to say all that in such an immature, mocking manner, so I'll apologize for that now. Maybe she is torn apart by putting her CF on him, but this poor guy obviously loves her and is getting jerked around a bit. With all the questions and doubt, I say it's not a good environment to start a life long relationship in, but that's their business.
 

Gentrygirl

New member
I would agree with Jonathan that she seems irresponsible. CF doesn't exempt you from having other problems. Here, it seems SHE is the one that is commitment phobic, not him. That may or may not be related to CF, but I'm guessing it's more a symptom of her age and maturity than the CF. I'm a good girl, I won't live with you. I have a ring, now I'll live with you. No, changed my mind, moving out again. Yes! A commitment ceremony sounds perfect, let's do that. No! Not without it being legal. I can't begin to assume what she is feeling, so I guess it's harsh of me to say all that in such an immature, mocking manner, so I'll apologize for that now. Maybe she is torn apart by putting her CF on him, but this poor guy obviously loves her and is getting jerked around a bit. With all the questions and doubt, I say it's not a good environment to start a life long relationship in, but that's their business.
 

Hardak

New member
Hate to say this but she her self may be better off not actually signing the papers. 1 It wouldn't change her medical care, and god forbid. But should something happen to him she is in a much better state to be able to take care of her self with out running back to mom and dad. I would also advise this to anybody thinking of getting married not just a CFer; Spend a year in an apartment on your own, Find out just how hard it is to get by on your own, all the little things around the house that need to be done that is vary likely overlooked when living at home. As for kids... I'm a CF male and don't want any biological kids simply because the CF risks.
 

Hardak

New member
Hate to say this but she her self may be better off not actually signing the papers. 1 It wouldn't change her medical care, and god forbid. But should something happen to him she is in a much better state to be able to take care of her self with out running back to mom and dad. I would also advise this to anybody thinking of getting married not just a CFer; Spend a year in an apartment on your own, Find out just how hard it is to get by on your own, all the little things around the house that need to be done that is vary likely overlooked when living at home. As for kids... I'm a CF male and don't want any biological kids simply because the CF risks.
 
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