<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Tess</b></i>
Hey Lil'1,
I do think about it all they time. My biggest fear 'growing up' 'teen years mostly', was sleeping over at a friends house and dieing in my sleep. Now that I'm older, and I have a 2year old lil' girl, I fear not being around for her if I were to die.
As far as just dieing goes, I'm not afraid to die. I worry about those who I'd be leaving behind; My Mom, Brothers and Sisters, Boyfriend, other family, friends, but mostly my Daughter. I don't want her to grow up without HER Mom! Though I do know that my memory would be kept alive for her, by My family if it did happen.
So I guess it's something I do think ALOT about but I try not to let it bother me too much and Live each day as it is my last there for there's no wasted time if I were to pass away.
Not sure if I've made much sense, but know your not alone in your thoughts.</end quote></div>
Really? that dying at a friends house in your sleep thing has to be the first time i've ever heard that. Me personally, i'm burnt out over thinking of dying/being afraid. I would be more pissed off if anything, about things I didn't get to accomplish, and hearing about the things i'm using now to keep my health where it is, way too late (if I would have heard about OO and some other things in my 20's, I could have started seriously working then, and my life would be WAY different now positively speaking).
Basically, don't let fear control you. We *ALL* live and die. We will all die at different times. I could live into my 60's or farther, or die next week either due to a weird CF related cause, or having 100 lbs of frozen ejected airplance sewage land on my head while listening to "Don't worry be happy". If you dwell on stuff, it will consume you. I know you can't help it due to your age, but trust me (i'm 35, and could live quite a while longer) noone knows when we are going to die, regardless if it's CF or whatever cause.
Live for today, and plan for your future. Most importantly, take proper care of yourself so you have a better chance at a decent future. I'm very grateful for living to the age that I have lived to, and for having the quality of life that I have now, that allows me to still be doing things at 35 with CF that some CF's much younger aren't able to do. But all of that means crap if I don't take care of myself to pave a path for this much appreciated good fortune.
Not taking care of yourself with CF would be like smoking like crazy, then finding out you have lung cancer, then it gets "cured", then you start smoking again. It just doesn't make sense. I'm not perfect, and if I died tomorrow I would surely have some regrets (though not many, I feel I have made some pretty good choices in life considering what I have been given to choose from), but one of the most important things i've learned from this life is that if you know you have to end up somewhere anyways (like death), don't let the fear consume you. You don't need religion to feel that way, you just need to realize that you can either be happy and live your heartbeats for all they are worth and end up in the same place, or be miserable and afraid and waste those heartbeats and end up in the same place. It's the choice we all have to make. Sadly the vast majority of "normal" people don't have to make this choice early on. Hence why many people with long term terminal diseases often have such nice outlooks on things.
I wish you the best. I know my teen years were rough, I probably wouldn't have listened to what i'm saying now back when I was your age either, but hopefully you eventually make the right decision.