Moms with CF

[Kaitsmom]

I am sure that this has been brought up before but i have wondered how hard is it for you to carry a baby? I know that me being pregnant was not always easy and the bigger i got the harder it was for me to breath. Did it take a big toll on your lungs and your bodies...i had all kinds of aches and pains during pregnancy and i know now at age 10 Kait will tell me that she hurts.

My daughter wants to be a mom when she grows up and the selfish me doesn't want her to, this is sad becuase i always knew that i wanted to be a mother also. I am so worried ( i know i have a while, she is only 10) but i do worry about my beautiful baby and i want her to have everything in life that she wants and dreams for.

Thanks
Kaitsmom<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

 

[HairGirl]

I've always wanted to be a Mom but because of my health it would be a risk to both the baby and I, I know several CF people who have been able to be pregnant and oh how I would love to be one of them!!!!!!!! But we (hubby and I) have decided to adopt so I will still get to be a mom one day, just not pregnant<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> While I was growing up my Mom wouldn't discourage me by telling me I might not be a Mom, just that with my health I may not be able to have kids naturally but there are always kids that need to be adopted.

 

[Emily65Roses]

Yep, that's what I was going to say. If the body is out and Kait wants to be a mom, there are a few options. Including adoption, which is a very good one.

 

[anonymous]

Maybe when you guys talk about it you could start subtley discussing all the wonderful ways of becoming a Mother. Maybe talk about Brad and Angelina and their adoptions and surrogacies you read about. Put the focus more on the ultimate goal of being a Mom and try to plant the seed that the actual act of carrying a child and giving birth is not what makes someone a Mom.

Other than that well honestly this isn't anything you will be able to fix for her one way or the other. And it will not likely be an issue in which she invites you to help make the decision. So why borrow trouble and be worrying about something so far down the road that you can't change or have a say in? I know your a Mom and that's kind of what they do...but uhmm as a CFer let me say politely...chill. Let's climb one mountain at a time.

Also.."I do worry about my beautiful baby and I want her to get everything in life that she wants and dreams for"....sheesshh are you serious? I mean it, were you being serious when you wrote that? I'm really not trying to be obtuse, i'm a little worried if you were serious.

littledebbie not logged in

 

[JazzysMom]

It definitely is hard to say at this age. Anything is possible. All growing up & while with my first husband I thought I couldnt have kids. It was more shouldnt which was introduced by my Mother rather than a doctor. When I found out I was pregnant (with my current hubby not the first) I knew thing would be ok. I personally felt great & worked full time up until I went in with a bit of hemoptysis at 8 months & delivered early by c section as a precaution for me. For me the pregnancy was the easy part. The hard part was the aftercare. My daughter has always been a good kid & I inforced in her the need to help Mom, but as she gets older that means I get older & its harder to maintain my health. The problem that I found to be the hardest to deal with has been recently. Its not physical as much as the emotional/mental toll it takes on my daughter & myself. I never thought about the part between Point A (giving birth) & Point B (dying). I just worried about when I was gone & not how hard it would be for a child to deal with a sick Mom. My daughter is biracial & I always thought that wouldnt be my toughest challenge as a Mom. I love my daughter more then anything & think it makes her a better person in many ways, but its an area that really needs to be thought about!

 

[anonymous]

Littledebbie

I do not want anyone to think that my children are spoiled, because they are not. I guess what i meant when i wrote that is i do want my daughter and my other children to be able to fulfill their dreams in life. I know that sometimes life brings disappointments and my children are aware of this... and i have taught them to depend on the Lord and he will provide for them. Inside i do not want my daughter to get pregnant...only because i worry so much about her health but how nice it would be for her if she could have a baby and not have to worry about her health. She is 10 years old and is so active in her own healthcare and i think that is alot for any child...so yes i do want all of her dreams to come true

Kaitsmom<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

 

[Allie]

Adopting isn't anything bad, and it's usually better for Cfers healthwise. Like debbie said, start introducing her to the idea about how great it is to give a chilod without a home a home a home, and since you're biblical, there are many verses in the Tanach (OT) about how it's a good deed in God's eyes to care for the orphan child. She can be a mother without risking her health.

 

[thelizardqueen]

I actually talked to my doc about this today. He said that while they don't like to see patients with an FEV1 below 50 being pregnant, it does happen sometimes, and majority of these mothers with lower FEV1s have fine pregnancies with a hosptial stay. He said that so long as your health is good, and there are no problems, then things should work out fine.

 

[Scarlett81]

I'm 23 now, and my hubby and I will probably be adopting in a yr or 2. However, while there are always added risks to a cfer giving birth, my doctor told me I shouldn't rule it out. She feels that basically a healthy woman before baby is usually a healthy mom after baby. Alot of it has to do with how disciplined you are about caring for yourself. You have to be first-even before the kids sometimes. If you're not healthy with yourself you won't be there as a mom.

My doctor tells many of her patients that ideally the FEV1 should be 70 or higher and sustained at that for an extended period of time to be more sure of a safer pregnancy and of health afterwards. I have made it to 75, which is why she's now encouraging me to keep thinking about pregnancy. I just have to hold it now for a year or more to see if I can do it. I fluctuate alot.

Still, there's no guarantees. What makes it more complicated with me is that I have cepacia. That adds alot of risk to a pregnancy. Which is why even if I can hold a high PFT I might not be able to carry a baby.

Either way-it's a personal decision. Your baby is ONLY 10!!!! It's exciting to think of what advances will be available to her in the future! I'm sure she'll be able to be a mom some way. When I was a child they said I'd never get married, I'd never be able to give birth, I'd not even be able to raise a child through adoption b/c of the strain on my health. Now look at me-I'm planning my family. Think of how successful your daughter will be!

 

[JazzysMom]

LOL Christian your whole post sounded like Dr. Walker could have wrote it. I could hear her voice while reading the whole thing. Got to love her!

 

[anonymous]

As a mother I understand your concern for your child but Kait is 10 years old. Let her have her dreams and don't spoil them with limitations. As she grows so will her maturity and knowledge about herself and her health. What we want at 10 doesn't always translate into what we want at 20 or 30. When I was ten I only wanted one child. Before I was thirty I had three. All with an FEV 1 of about 65. All the pregnancies went very very well. I did have one episode of hemoptysis, which did scare me, when I was 6 weeks pregnant with my first child but after that nothing. I loved being pregnant, breast feeding, and every stretch mark I now have on my belly. Being a mom is terrific whether one has them naturally or adopts. Time will tell if Kait will be able to safely carry a pregnancy and until that time let her enjoy her hopes and dreams. More than likely they will come true one way or another.

 

[Scarlett81]

LOL Melissa- Ahh! I've been brainwashed!! Just kidding. She's a good doctor b/c she's honest. I don't want to have my ears tickled.

Once I had a doctor say to me-'sure, go ahead and get pregnant. Even if you dont' live a year after that, at least you've given your husband a baby.' Thanks, but he'd rather have me. I shudder to think of any other patients of his that may listen to advice like that. My FEV1 at the time was probably 50.

 

[HollyCatheryn]

Those of ou who haven't already, I encourage you to go look around on "From Patient to Parent" <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.geocities.com/MurrensNatureMama">www.geocities.com/MurrensNatureMama</a>. This is a compilation of hundreds of research articles about fertility, pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and personal articles by adults who have CF and have become parents.

The possibility and actuality of conception, pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding is unique to each woman and within than unique to each child she mothers. You can't predict now what life will be like in 10 or 15 years. I, personally, had lots of health problems as a teen. I was in the hospital so frequently that I was unable to graduate high school (GED) or college. But, over the past 5 years my health has stabilized tremendously. In the last 3 years I've only been on antibiotics 2 times and that was during the only 2 hospital stays I've had in the last 3 years.

Keep up hope and plan for a bright future full of everything every little girl dreams of. If you raise her with resourcefulness and security, she will be able to compensate if things work out differently than she had imagined.

As you will read in my signature and on the above mentioned website, I have a daughter who is 4! You won't yet read that we are looking forward to adopting. We hope and pray and plan on having more biological children as well, because as Mother Theresa said, "Saying there are too many children is like saying there are too many flowers."

Feel free to email anytime (<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="mailto:akaeg@netzero.net">akaeg@netzero.net</a>).

 

[wanderlost]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>anonymous</b></i>
Also.."I do worry about my beautiful baby and I want her to get everything in life that she wants and dreams for"....sheesshh are you serious? I mean it, were you being serious when you wrote that? I'm really not trying to be obtuse, i'm a little worried if you were serious.



littledebbie not logged in</end quote></div>


Obviously you must not be a mom Littledebbie, because I don't know many parents who don't feel this same way - of course you want your child to have everything they hope and dream for - what's wrong with that? It's not like they will, but you can still wish it for them; hell, as insensitive as your comment was, I still hope you get all you hope and dream for too.

 

[wanderlost]

I do echo what everyone has said - there are many roads to motherhood, and by the time your daughter is ready to think babies, medical treatment will surely have progressed. It's so hard to be a parent and hear your child's dreams when you realize some of them may or may not come true - for now, let the future be bright and hope that she will be just fine to have babies when the time is right - and if not, she'll surely have the maturity at that point to deal with that and make decisions at that time as to what is best for her. There are plenty of Cf moms an here, and just as plenty of women who probably will not be able to have children of their own, but will still be able to become mothers. Keep her active and as healkthy as you can now, and be as honest with her as is age appropriate. I will say, CF never limited my dreams, though you may have to make adjustments along the way.

 

[anonymous]

I am a mother to a beautiful baby girl, who I thought I would never have, because I was always told I could never have her. I concider myself very lucky. Sure my pregnancy was very hard on my body, but if I had it all to do over again I certainly would..... 23 yr old mommy, with CF

 

[kybert]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Scarlett81</b></i>

LOL Melissa- Ahh! I've been brainwashed!! Just kidding. She's a good doctor b/c she's honest. I don't want to have my ears tickled.



Once I had a doctor say to me-'sure, go ahead and get pregnant. Even if you dont' live a year after that, at least you've given your husband a baby.' Thanks, but he'd rather have me. I shudder to think of any other patients of his that may listen to advice like that. My FEV1 at the time was probably 50.</end quote></div>


somehow i get the feeling your doc was actually being sarcastic when he said that.

 

[anonymous]

Thanks to everyone that replied to my question. I know that my daughter is only 10 years old and i agree that hopefully when it is her time to have babies she will be able to. One of my best friends daughter was diagnosed with lupus a while back and she got pregnant...her mother of course was worried about her, well she had her little girl last night and everyone is doing well. Abigal (the baby) was born weighing only 4lbs10oz, but everything seems to be going well and her and mom should get to come home on Wed. I think that sometimes i get really overwhelmed and anxious with CF and i know that i always worry. When i see how Kait looks at babies and she always tells me that she wants a baby.... i know it may sound silly but when i was 10 years old i can remember wanting a baby, my heart breaks because i do not want her to miss out on being a mother. I also agree with adoption, there are so many beautiful children that need a loving home.

Thanks to everyone again

Kaitsmom<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

 

[Tess]

Kaitsmom,

I am 23 with CF and I have been through the wonderful joy of having a child.
My pregnancy was awesome I was actually the healthiest I had been since i was 14, I got pregnant at 20 had my Daughter at 21. The pregnancy was great as far as being able to breath and the achs and pain where none the worse than for any other pregnant women.

I had a monthly check up at my CF clinic, as well as with my OBGYN. My visits with my OBGYN increased by each passing month, to once every two week, then once a week.

I also delivered my daughter 'naturally' with the aid of an epidural, with out the epidural I probably would not have made it through having her.

I got pregnant, I never planned it, it just happened I guess it was meant to be. God don't usually give you a situation that you can't handle. So live life lik there is no tomorrow don't miss out on a thing, though keep things real.