My father passed away yesterday at 10:50am. I've posted a
couple emails throughout this very short time asking questions and
honestly just venting. Last Thursday at home he asked my mom
to call 911. He was constantly vomiting. He was
attrited to the hospital. And from that point on, every day I
went to see him it was that much worse. It started out with
double vision, short term memory loss, inability to regulate his
electrolytes etc. His body was breaking down. Tuesday
afternoon I left work early to spend time with him and he talked
non stop. He had me take notes, about his wishes (for
instance he wants me to make sure that we all get our driveways
sealed. It's been really bugging him) and his
remembrance and we spoke a lot about some of his dreams for us.
In the evening he asked that my brother come by and he spoke
non stop to him. On Wed. he hardly spoke and when he did he
was very confused. Respitory brought in a BiPAP machine.
A glorified non invasive ventilator and wanted to put it on
him. My father agreed (although we know he wouldn't have
wanted it). He put it on - what a scary contraption and it
terrified him but got enough oxygen to his brain for him to perk up
and say "I an scared. I want to talk about this.
Why am I on this". We took it right off and he
quickly failed again. My dad said he wanted to try it at
night. Maybe he would get a good night sleep. So my mom
stayed with him until 2:00am. He was really drugged.
The night Nurse came in to take his vitals and woke him up.
He looked right at my mom and said "Why is this on.
I don't understand" and he passed right out again.
Yesterday, something told me to go to the hospital early.
I did and my mother and I met there. He still had the
BiPAP machine on. We were both horrified. He was cold. The
Dr. and Resp. came and said that his CO2 levels were worse on this
machine. So, we took it off. Mom had some time alone
with him. So did I. We begged him to go. We told
him to find his brothers - 6 (i think total) of them died of
this horrible disease. Mom held one hand and I held the other
and we watched his erratic breathing hoping that once his chest
fell he wouldn't take another breath. Finally that is what
happened. He's gone. I'm sad. I'm angry that this
stupid disease took a kind, loving, generous man from this world.
I am glad he's not suffering anymore. I am hoping he's
running, hard and fast to wherever he wants to go.<br>
<br>
The odd thing was I was driving my minivan back to my house last
night. My girls were in the middle seats facing rear. ( my
dad always sat in the third seat so he could talk with them)
They are 15 months old. Shea was asleep and Erin was
babbling - she's learning new words everyday. And while I was
driving she said all-done, bye-bye Happy. Then she kept
repeating the word Happy. When I took her out of the car seat
I asked her if she was talking to Grampa. She responded
"Grampa Happy" I came into her room this morning
and I was obviously sad, and she kept repeating the word Happy.<br>
<br>
This morning, I was driving them to daycare and Shea kept yelling
my mother's name "NANA" and she kept making a kissing
sound. The sound she makes when she leans over to kiss
someone.<br>
<br>
Who knows. . . this could all be my way of getting through the day.
But he always said that he would do his best to let us know
he's around. <br>
<br>
For all of you fighting this disease, one on one or watching a
friend or loved one go through this always remember that
everyday is so precious. (which, for members of this forum I am
sure you do) It all goes by so fast. My father
lead by example and loved his wife and family so much.
Everyday of his life was difficult but we never knew it,
because he was enjoying the little things. . . . the things
that any other person would pass right by. So, give a call to
someone that you love today, or step out in the sunshine and be
glad that you can do it, that you can feel the warmth. <br>
<br>
Amy<br>
My Father: Dwight L. Briggs 8/19/1952 - 8/16/2006<br>
<br>
couple emails throughout this very short time asking questions and
honestly just venting. Last Thursday at home he asked my mom
to call 911. He was constantly vomiting. He was
attrited to the hospital. And from that point on, every day I
went to see him it was that much worse. It started out with
double vision, short term memory loss, inability to regulate his
electrolytes etc. His body was breaking down. Tuesday
afternoon I left work early to spend time with him and he talked
non stop. He had me take notes, about his wishes (for
instance he wants me to make sure that we all get our driveways
sealed. It's been really bugging him) and his
remembrance and we spoke a lot about some of his dreams for us.
In the evening he asked that my brother come by and he spoke
non stop to him. On Wed. he hardly spoke and when he did he
was very confused. Respitory brought in a BiPAP machine.
A glorified non invasive ventilator and wanted to put it on
him. My father agreed (although we know he wouldn't have
wanted it). He put it on - what a scary contraption and it
terrified him but got enough oxygen to his brain for him to perk up
and say "I an scared. I want to talk about this.
Why am I on this". We took it right off and he
quickly failed again. My dad said he wanted to try it at
night. Maybe he would get a good night sleep. So my mom
stayed with him until 2:00am. He was really drugged.
The night Nurse came in to take his vitals and woke him up.
He looked right at my mom and said "Why is this on.
I don't understand" and he passed right out again.
Yesterday, something told me to go to the hospital early.
I did and my mother and I met there. He still had the
BiPAP machine on. We were both horrified. He was cold. The
Dr. and Resp. came and said that his CO2 levels were worse on this
machine. So, we took it off. Mom had some time alone
with him. So did I. We begged him to go. We told
him to find his brothers - 6 (i think total) of them died of
this horrible disease. Mom held one hand and I held the other
and we watched his erratic breathing hoping that once his chest
fell he wouldn't take another breath. Finally that is what
happened. He's gone. I'm sad. I'm angry that this
stupid disease took a kind, loving, generous man from this world.
I am glad he's not suffering anymore. I am hoping he's
running, hard and fast to wherever he wants to go.<br>
<br>
The odd thing was I was driving my minivan back to my house last
night. My girls were in the middle seats facing rear. ( my
dad always sat in the third seat so he could talk with them)
They are 15 months old. Shea was asleep and Erin was
babbling - she's learning new words everyday. And while I was
driving she said all-done, bye-bye Happy. Then she kept
repeating the word Happy. When I took her out of the car seat
I asked her if she was talking to Grampa. She responded
"Grampa Happy" I came into her room this morning
and I was obviously sad, and she kept repeating the word Happy.<br>
<br>
This morning, I was driving them to daycare and Shea kept yelling
my mother's name "NANA" and she kept making a kissing
sound. The sound she makes when she leans over to kiss
someone.<br>
<br>
Who knows. . . this could all be my way of getting through the day.
But he always said that he would do his best to let us know
he's around. <br>
<br>
For all of you fighting this disease, one on one or watching a
friend or loved one go through this always remember that
everyday is so precious. (which, for members of this forum I am
sure you do) It all goes by so fast. My father
lead by example and loved his wife and family so much.
Everyday of his life was difficult but we never knew it,
because he was enjoying the little things. . . . the things
that any other person would pass right by. So, give a call to
someone that you love today, or step out in the sunshine and be
glad that you can do it, that you can feel the warmth. <br>
<br>
Amy<br>
My Father: Dwight L. Briggs 8/19/1952 - 8/16/2006<br>
<br>