My friend

[Eternal]

I'll give you guys a quick synopsis of my friend. They have cystic
fibrosis, and are currently in failing health. The person is in
their mid teens, and most of there major organs are failing either
due to her disease, or the fact that they overdosed on pills when
they were younger. My friend has lived an unfairly harsh life due
to their family problems. I do not want to get into it, but they
have suffered from unspeakable horrors. I
talked to my friend earlier today to learn that they were coughing
up blood. My friend coughs a lot, to the point were they get huge
migraines, and even vomiting. However, they usually do not
vomit/cough up blood. I'm also very concerned because for the past
month or so, they cannot hold down any food whatsoever. They cannot
get any nutrition since that they are often times starved of food,
and when they do get some... they just vomit it up.I told
them to go to the hospital, but they flat out refuse. My friend is
very stubborn, something I almost admire about them, when it
doesn't get in the way of their own safety. When I try to convince
them to go to the hospital, they claim that it is just a temporary
fix, and is just slowing down the inevitable. I know that CF will
eventually be their demise, I just don't want it to happen so
quickly. I am so worried about my friend. I told them that it may
be just slowing down CF's effects on their lungs, but all we need
is time so that they can live long enough to get the heart/lung
transplant they are signed up for. They would be getting it in
about three years, and I'm not too sure my friend has that long,
especially if they do not keep proper care of themselves.
Then my friend told me that they do not want the
transplant, to my horror. My friend thinks that just because they
over dosed, they do not deserve it. My friend is the most deserving
person to have one. I try to convince them of this, but they just
say that they will just exist until their lung collapses. My friend
is so selfless, they want a more "deserving" person, who did not
try to take their own life to have one. I think they are tired of
suffering from their various illnesses.I am a
wishful thinker, I want my friend to live forever, or to at least
live a normal life span. Now to my questions, is coughing up blood
the last sign before things get really bad? Will it get worse, and
worse? Will their condition ever get better? What can I do to
convince them that they are worth the transplant?

 

[thelizardqueen]

First of all, welcome to the site. I'm sure that you'll find a lot of help and support on here. The fact that you're on here for your friend is great too, it just shows how much you love him/her. Ok - so the blood thing could be many things, and not necessarily the beginning of the end. Some of us cough up blood due to stress on our lungs i.e. coughing fits, broken vessels from repeat infections, etc. It could be caused by a med he/she is on like Pulmozyme, or TOBI, or Hypertonic Saline (pretty much any kind of inhaled med). It could also be caused by infection as well. Some of us women can cough up blood simply by laying down or having our periods (not sure if your friend is male or female). I should mention that while it is scary to see and handle, it gets easier with time. I'm 24 years old, and coughed up blood for the first time about 3 years ago. It was a very serious episode that lasted for 2 months. I would cough up cups and cups of blood for no reason. My doc eventually gave me a pulmonary embolization (where they put a coil in the vien that's bleeding in your lungs. Its a fairly easy procedure).

As for the transplant, there are some people on here who just decide for whatever personal reasons they have, that they do not want a transplant. And no amount of convincing will change their mind. You can offer advice, etc but in the end it is their decision. Heck, I don't even know if I will ever want a transplant yet. I would agree though that if your friend can't keep food down, isn't gaining weight, and is always sick, will they even be a good candidate for a transplant? According to what I know, you have to be at a certain weight, you have to be taking care of yourself and doing everything possible to maintain yourself for the list to get a transplant. I don't think they'll transplant someone that doesn't care about their health. I would just keep trying to encourage your friend to go to clinic (he/she does go to an accredited CF centre for treatment right?), to keep up with treatments, and to try and eat as much as possible. What does your friends doctor think of this?

I'd like to think that (and this is only if your friend isn't TOO far off) if he/she takes care of themselves, eats nutritious food, does the prescribed treatments, etc, that they can improve themselves. To how much I'm not sure, as you haven't stated what the FEV1 is, what lung function is like, how long has he/she been on the list. Is your friend even on the list yet?

All I can say is keep trying. There's only so much pushing you can do. After that its all dependent on your friend. Has your friend thought of counseling? Seeing a CF counselor would be a good step in order to talk to someone about her/his problems. I know a lot of us CFers go through anxiety and depression, and seeing someone about that would be a great step forward.

I hope that you get the answers you're looking for and need from here! My thoughts will be with you and your friend!

EDITED TO ADD: You may want to try posting this in the adult section. You may get a few more responses there.