Need advice, stressed about Holidays

[anonymous]

Hi there,

I always get stressed this time of year because of the increase in colds resp illness which can put my daughter at risk for getting sick. We usually travel for the Holidays to visit family. It's alot of work with 2 kids, one with CF(who has many treatments throughout the day). We do our best to avoid sick people when we can and most people are quite understanding about it and let us know if they are sick, we cancel plans or they do. Anyway, make a long story short; my sister said that her daughter has had a cough for a month, she thought she should let me know. they had canceled a vacation a week ago because she ran a fever. Thanksgiving is comeing up in a week. We are supposed to visit then for Thanksgiving, I'm not sure what to do and stressed .

Advice anyone. My husband thinks we should not get together if she still has the cough. My daughter with CF is on so many meds which cost so much money and right now is doing ok and Idon't want to rock the boat.

 

[Allie]

Ahh, I know what you mean by holiday stress.

It comes down to a greatest good thing, which unfortunatly, your daughter is too young to decide. We always weighed our options...was it worth it to us to spend the holidays like every other family? For Ry, the answer was normally yes. I imagine it's different for everyone. If it were ME, not saying you mjust do this at all, I would go. And keep them 3 feet apart, militantly wash hands etc.

But I'm not you, really only you can figure this out for yourself.

 

[65rosessamurai]

I can relate to that dillema.

Not with my family, we went everywhere no matter how I felt (basically). But during my first marriage, the (now ex) would tell me that going to large crowded areas were too dangerous, in which I would get sick if we went. (Actually, it could also had been an excuse for not wanting to go anywhere with me, leaving me at home while SHE probably went to those fun places with her girlfriends)

Yes, it is your decision, but the decision would be based on either what cautionary measures can be made during the visiting of relatives; or what few consequences in staying home would bring. Perhaps, your husband has a good point, if their child isn't feeling better before the "coast is clear" , perhaps another time could be planned for a get-together. The child's health being top priority would seem most important. Another suggestion is to find out what kind of cough, and if it happens to be of any concern in relation to your daughters case. (It might be, but finding out the source of the cough might help in your final decision--even if the coughing stops, are there germs or contaminations your daughter may still catch, etc.)

I too, get a little stressed because I don't want to catch something during the holidays, but because I commute by train daily, that alone is most contagious during the cold season. In my case, I may have to take my wife's advice and wear a "doctor's mask". Fortunately, in Japan, everyone wears one this time of year, so I won't feel too out of place.

 

[anonymous]

DS and I don't have far to travel; however, there are several people who come from all over the country. His first holiday season was when there was the big flu epidemic in Colorado and several people were flying in from Denver. I was terried. Especially when I walked in the door and DS's cousin was coughing and looked like death warmed over. I was furious. My MIL was mad at me for daring to question her "favorite niece's health". She did manage to stay away from DS, but still...

After that DS and I just decided that if we walked in the door and someone was very very ill, we'd walk right back out.

My main stress right now is DS is a horrible eater. He does fine just with us and with a few select choices. But put him in public. He can go all week without eating a bite. So I try to feed him at home BEFORE the meal and just let him run around and graze. Meddling MIL tells me one more time how so and so's kid eats like a little piggy all the time, I'm going to smack her.

 

[anonymous]

Thanks for your replies. Right now I've left it up to my sister, that she needs to use good judgement to decide if her daughter is well to visit with my daughter with CF. I can't tell over the phone if my niece is sick and I too would like to see them. My sis said if my daughter did not have CF , she would would not think my niece was sick but because we try to avoid people with coughs, that she's trying to be careful. Plus our kids play together so keeping them apart at family functions is not an option. I guess no hugging or kissing we could do, wash hands and hope for the best.

Rebecca(mom to sammy 7 no CF and Maggie almost 3 with CF)