Hello, everyone. I've been "lurking" for a while and decided to join in today. I really hope I can give someone else good advice and support down the road, but now I am looking for just that.
How do other mothers let go of adult children and keep their sanity? I see that my daughter (20) is not taking good care of herself. She does still live at home (for now) but frequently visits friends. She just came back from a week away and is not well. Instead of doing any treatments she is sleeping a lot...
A background on Lyn: She was diagnosed at 2 months for failure to thrive; was hospitalized twice when she was very little for bowel obstructions; at some point we found out her liver was cirrhotic and her spleen was quite large; she had a few tune-ups here and there until about 7th grade, then - she became anorexic and bulemic, (which is terrifying because the liver problem caused enlarged veins in her esophagus which could have ruptured) she began talking of wanting to die and hating her bloated tummy; she was admitted to an inpatient psych hospital for three weeks then, at which point they wanted to send her away to an eating disorder clinic (I could not do it. There were no guarantees of a cure; I just wanted to bring her home); during the next year we were winning the battle with anorexia, but she was diagnosed with diabetes. That was a blow to her; she still hates the thought of it. During high school she had to quit track due to terrible aching in her joints. Just over two years ago she was given gentamicin for a lung infection - and ended up with ototoxicty, barely able to walk and suffered bouncing vision. We were told it would never go away, but she could - hopefully - learn to cope with it. For a girl who snowboards and drives a motorcycle, it was utterly devastating. She can now finally do both, but still has trouble in certain situations. Last year she was diagnosed with kidney stones and had to have lithotripsy for those. Right after that she had a sudden, excrutiating headache; we found out that she had had a brain bleed on her pituitary gland. They think it was caused by her low platelets - another indirect product of cf. Now she has to keep any eye on that and be wary of vision and hormone problems.
Through all of this her lung function is still pretty darn good, but she just appears to be giving up. She wants to move out and have her own place, but has discovered that financially it is nearly impossible (even if we helped her as much as we could). She is an adult. I cannot "make" her take better care of herself, just provide encouragement. But how do mothers cope with this? The "letting go" ? I live in a remote area of Upper Michigan. We have never had contact with other cf families, sadly enough. I feel as though I have coped all of these years, but now I am lost...
How do other mothers let go of adult children and keep their sanity? I see that my daughter (20) is not taking good care of herself. She does still live at home (for now) but frequently visits friends. She just came back from a week away and is not well. Instead of doing any treatments she is sleeping a lot...
A background on Lyn: She was diagnosed at 2 months for failure to thrive; was hospitalized twice when she was very little for bowel obstructions; at some point we found out her liver was cirrhotic and her spleen was quite large; she had a few tune-ups here and there until about 7th grade, then - she became anorexic and bulemic, (which is terrifying because the liver problem caused enlarged veins in her esophagus which could have ruptured) she began talking of wanting to die and hating her bloated tummy; she was admitted to an inpatient psych hospital for three weeks then, at which point they wanted to send her away to an eating disorder clinic (I could not do it. There were no guarantees of a cure; I just wanted to bring her home); during the next year we were winning the battle with anorexia, but she was diagnosed with diabetes. That was a blow to her; she still hates the thought of it. During high school she had to quit track due to terrible aching in her joints. Just over two years ago she was given gentamicin for a lung infection - and ended up with ototoxicty, barely able to walk and suffered bouncing vision. We were told it would never go away, but she could - hopefully - learn to cope with it. For a girl who snowboards and drives a motorcycle, it was utterly devastating. She can now finally do both, but still has trouble in certain situations. Last year she was diagnosed with kidney stones and had to have lithotripsy for those. Right after that she had a sudden, excrutiating headache; we found out that she had had a brain bleed on her pituitary gland. They think it was caused by her low platelets - another indirect product of cf. Now she has to keep any eye on that and be wary of vision and hormone problems.
Through all of this her lung function is still pretty darn good, but she just appears to be giving up. She wants to move out and have her own place, but has discovered that financially it is nearly impossible (even if we helped her as much as we could). She is an adult. I cannot "make" her take better care of herself, just provide encouragement. But how do mothers cope with this? The "letting go" ? I live in a remote area of Upper Michigan. We have never had contact with other cf families, sadly enough. I feel as though I have coped all of these years, but now I am lost...