6
65rosessamurai
Guest
While riding in one of the salesman's car, I noticed the sophistication of the latest in car navigation systems. I was thinking about what kind might be available, and finding a Car Navigation System with these options for making announcements came to mind:
1. <b>Backseat Driver</b>- Offered in a male, or female voice, will give directions on how to get to the place, as well as make comments as to which lane to get into, and not getting too close to the car in front. Has an added feature to occasionally add the phrase "<i>Where did you get your driver's license, from a Cracker-Jack box!</i>", when it senses that you missed the turn, and it has to re-calculate how to take a secondary route to the destination.
2. <b>Nagging Wife</b>- Only offered in a female voice, has a different option of being a low pitched, "<i>butch</i>" kind of voice, or the ear-ringing high pitch voice. An additional feature would be the phrase "<i>If you're lost, ask at a gas station!</i>"
3. <b>Dizzy Blonde</b>- Offered in only the high-pitched voice for daytime, and the soft <u>"Marlyn Monroe" </u>sexy voice at night, will also include the misguided directions on how to get to the destination, and by dusk (if you haven't made it to the destination by then) will suggest stopping at the nearest 'Holiday Inn' for the night!
4. <b>Whining Child</b>- This feature comes in boy or girl voices, and often uses the phrase "<i>Are we there, yet</i>", which increases as the destination becomes closer! A special feature of the <u>"Bart Simpson"</u> voice is also available.
5. <b>Mother-in-law</b>- Only offered to those who really miss the mother-in-law (don't know why the engineers even bothered to make this feature!), is only offered in the old lady ear deafening, spine chilling voice, while listening to her nag about how to reach the destination. Includes the phrase "<i>Where did you learn to drive!?</i>", when it senses an abrupt stop with the brakes.
6. <b>Flight Attendant</b>- The most preffered feature, offers a male, or female "<u>Flight Attendant</u>" voice to enhance the announcement with a more soothing sensation. Caution: If it senses your seatbelt isn't fastened within 3 minutes after the Car navigation system has been on, a long delay in departure will occur, due to the long-winded demonstration on how to fasten your seatbelt (yes, video is included).
1. <b>Backseat Driver</b>- Offered in a male, or female voice, will give directions on how to get to the place, as well as make comments as to which lane to get into, and not getting too close to the car in front. Has an added feature to occasionally add the phrase "<i>Where did you get your driver's license, from a Cracker-Jack box!</i>", when it senses that you missed the turn, and it has to re-calculate how to take a secondary route to the destination.
2. <b>Nagging Wife</b>- Only offered in a female voice, has a different option of being a low pitched, "<i>butch</i>" kind of voice, or the ear-ringing high pitch voice. An additional feature would be the phrase "<i>If you're lost, ask at a gas station!</i>"
3. <b>Dizzy Blonde</b>- Offered in only the high-pitched voice for daytime, and the soft <u>"Marlyn Monroe" </u>sexy voice at night, will also include the misguided directions on how to get to the destination, and by dusk (if you haven't made it to the destination by then) will suggest stopping at the nearest 'Holiday Inn' for the night!
4. <b>Whining Child</b>- This feature comes in boy or girl voices, and often uses the phrase "<i>Are we there, yet</i>", which increases as the destination becomes closer! A special feature of the <u>"Bart Simpson"</u> voice is also available.
5. <b>Mother-in-law</b>- Only offered to those who really miss the mother-in-law (don't know why the engineers even bothered to make this feature!), is only offered in the old lady ear deafening, spine chilling voice, while listening to her nag about how to reach the destination. Includes the phrase "<i>Where did you learn to drive!?</i>", when it senses an abrupt stop with the brakes.
6. <b>Flight Attendant</b>- The most preffered feature, offers a male, or female "<u>Flight Attendant</u>" voice to enhance the announcement with a more soothing sensation. Caution: If it senses your seatbelt isn't fastened within 3 minutes after the Car navigation system has been on, a long delay in departure will occur, due to the long-winded demonstration on how to fasten your seatbelt (yes, video is included).