OFF Topic

[JRPandTJP]

I just wanted to drop on real quick and let everyone know that my grandma (Nanny) passed away Monday Sept 11th. We were all very close to her and she was a big part of mine and my children's lives. We have been grieving and planning her memorial service all week. It turned out wonderfully and was a true testiment to her entire life and how much she was loved. It was Irish from start to finish, just as she would have wanted it.

My daughter (6 1/2) decided to be there though it all and is doing well. I'm not sure if children look at death differently, but she hasn't cried yet or shown any real emotion over it. Anyone have experience with this? I guess we'll have to just keep talking to her when she wants to and watch to see if she is okay. Benny is too little to understand...all he said was "Nana no home" ...which of course made me cry.

Just wanted to let you all know since I haven't been around much lately.

warmly,
Jody

 

[Allie]

Ahava didn't cry much at first either. Actually, crying over it has never been her preferred method of dealing with it. it comes out in her play, in her paintings, etc. Much more so than crying like an adult might. The times she has expressed missing Ry, she practically throws a hissy fit over it, which is very unlike her. Sometimes she'll talk about it maturely, other times she'll snap at me. But they don't express loss the same way adults do. If I can help, let me know.

 

[BigBee]

Jody,
I am sorry to hear of your Nanny's death. My sympathies are with your family. Irish through and through ~ I love it!

My daughter had just turned seven when her Grandpa died. She too was mostly unemotional - took her awhile to process. You've got a great idea to keep talking to her as much or little as she wants. Someone gave me a great book to help kids understand the concept - it is a story about a dragonfly. it resonated with her and me as well. I can find the title if you are interested.

Good luck and again, my sympathies.

 

[dyza]

I feel for you. Theres never a day goes bye when I dont think of my Gran and she passed 4 years ago, I think its because she looked after me so much when I was a boy, my father was at sea and my mum worked.

I say to my daughter ,who found it really hard and still also cries now and then that she knew both her great grans, they lived until 97 and 95, I guess in this day and age older people are living much longer so children are increasingly knoing their great grandparents.

 

[Jane]

I'm so sorry to hear about your Nanny's passing Jody. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Kids really are amazing at how they process things.

 

[kayleesgrandma]

I'm sorry for your loss, Jody. It's hard to lose your Grandma. Give your little girl time, she'll talk about it eventually.

 

[Jem]

I am very sorry for your loss Jody.  My grandparents died
before I was born except for my father's mom. She died when I was
around 7 but at that time I really didn't understand fully what it
all meant.  I can still remember wanting to cry, thinking
that I was supposed to do that but I just couldn't bring the tears
to come.  As Terri said give your daughter some time and she
will bring it up when she is ready to.<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

 

[DEES4]

Hey Jody! I have been wondering where you were.....I was actually going to email you today and see if everything was alright. I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. It is so hard when a loved one passes even if they did get to live a long life. My husbands father (my father in law) passed away about a year ago. He was also a big part of our lives. My children acted alot like Julia. They didn't really cry or really have much to say about the whole thing. My daughter did cry a little at the funeral home. I think kids do look at death different then adults. My 8 year old son told me a few weeks ago that he wasn't afraid to die because then he will just be in heaven and get to walk through walls!! Anyway just wanted to let you know we are thinking about you guys....
Carrie

 

[JRPandTJP]

Thank you all for your kindness. I miss her much but there is also a peace about it under the sadness. She was ready and my mom (who took care of her for the past 6 1/2 years) was there until her last breath. She wanted to give her the peace and security of dying at home and she did it. It was amazing to watch my mom in her last few weeks. She is my hero.

Julia is doing a little better. She is starting to talk about her alot more. Last night she was laying there having a hard time sleeping. I told her to picture herself flying in the clouds just anyway she wanted to...I asked her what she saw and she said birds, butterflies, dragonflies and then Nana. I told her to take her hand and go whereever they wanted. Nana was free to do anything now and could even go cloud diving if she wanted. Before I knew it she was sleeping. She also went over to my moms house today and picked a bouquet of flowers to have in her room from the arrangements. I think these are good signs. Before everytime I talked to her about it she just said "Whaaaaaat" in a real whiny voice as if I was bothering her.


Anyways, thanks all for your thoughts and good wishes. It helps. She was an amazing woman and her strength of will, will live on.

Jody